Don’t Mess With Norma Brown
Norma Brown has invented a “Female Security Device”:
The Female Security Device is designed to defend and protect a woman against rape. It is placed within the vaginal cavity of a female to protect and minimize physical damage caused by sexual intercourse. The device is able to retrieve evidence of rape and provide evidence for identifying a perpetrator. This is done by using a needle to to obtain a penile tissue sample and to cause penile tissue irritation, and by obtaining a semen sample.
From the pictures, it appears that instead of the needle, you can get it with a superglue option or an airbag option. Not making this up. The function of the airbag is labeled on the diagram (“deployed as barrier to penetration”) but the “surgical glue spray” option seems as if it would be counterproductive.
Bacchus is an absolutist when it comes to a person’s right to control what enters his or her orifices, by whatever means necessary. (Large caliber handguns are quite effective for this purpose.) Unfortunately, the proposed “Female Security Device” puts one in mind of a man who stays locked in his own concrete basement to avoid the risk of kidnappers. Would not a woman who routinely used such a device be, in a metaphorical sort of way, preemptively raping herself?
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I think the superglue is on the inside of something that is not attached to the walls of the device. Sandpaper, say.
That metaphor is rather strained.
I wrote this post almost a quarter of a century ago. I agree about the strained metaphor. I wouldn’t write that line today. Indeed, I don’t think I’d post this item at all in 2026, or if I did, I’d be way more diffident with my editorializing. 2026 me would like to encourage 2002 me to consider shutting the fuck up with his opinions on what women do or don’t stuff into their vaginas because of men.