OK, so it’s a little unfair to criticize a defense lawyer for putting his client’s actions in the best possible light. But it’s not unfair, I maintain, for us to laugh our asses off when his attempts to do so are ludicrous. Which seems appropriate when the defense lawyer for an Abu Ghraib torturer tries to justify piling naked prisoners in pyramids, asking:

“Don’t cheerleaders all over America form pyramids six to eight times a year. Is that torture?”

Obviously that’s a question that requires careful research.

I don’t personally know any of the cheerleaders who form naked pyramids six or eight times a year. Darn! So I can’t ask them if it’s torture. Still, on available evidence, the girls in this pyramid seem happy enough. And the skilled young ladies who model for Lightspeed University always seem to have a smile on their faces, even when it’s just about all they have on:

pyramid of naked cheerleaders

(From this gallery.)

Now all we need to do is find some cheerleaders who can tell us what it’s like to make a naked pyramid in a dank concrete room at gunpoint in front of jeering soldiers and slavering guard dogs. Oh, wait … that’s different.

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