Today I needed to take a long ride on a city bus to retrieve my vehicle from my mechanics. When the bus stopped in front of the local high school just after 8:00 AM, it quickly became clear that scholastics were not a priority on this sunny spring morning, as a horde of teen girls got aboard talking animatedly about their planned day at the mall.

The bus being crowded, we were all pressed in pretty close. The following conversation and events took place about eighteen inches in front of my face:

Girl #1: “Do you want a drink?” (offers 20 ounce Coke bottle)

Girl #2: “Sure!” (takes bottle, opens, stuffs it deep in her mouth so her lips are on the shoulders of the bottle, and begins swigging long and hard, glug glug glug glug.)

Girl #1: “Geeze, Fellatia, don’t get so excited, it’s only a rum and coke!”

Normally I’m unmoved by what passes for witty teen sarcasm, but I thought “Fellatia” was funny.