Acknowledging The Romantic Value Of Geeks
From Maryamie: Ten Reasons Why You Should Date a Geek. I’m not smart enough to be a geek, but I’ve got sporadic geek issues; enough to say, the world needs more women like this. From the article:
Not satisfied yet? Ok, I hear you. You are saying gadgets and toys are fun, but they won’t keep me warm in the middle of the night, if you know what I mean. Well, I didn’t think I would have to tell you this, but I guess you are going to make me spell it out for you. Here’s the deal, sweet and simple: Your geek will worship the ground you walk on. He’ll be so happy that a pretty girl like you paid attention to him that he’ll be at your feet. He’ll adore you as if you were his queen. In his arms, you’ll feel like you are at the top of the world. Believe me, I know what I am talking about.
Thanks to Halley for the link.
Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=994
Thanks for the link. You know Maryam is Maryam Scoble — the wife of well-known Microsoft blogger Robert Scoble.
His new book just came out and I know you’ll love the title, Naked Converstions!
For those who are still in school, another admirable geek trait is they’ll help you learn. Not all geeks, but many (such as I) love teaching others about the nerdy stuff we love.
Apparently, my own passion for mathematics was sufficient for my friend to suggest my girlfriend and I make pornographic lessons in college level math.
They only way women will ever value geeks, is if geeks are made of money in the likes of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs. Your average geek, women will always over look them because they do not meet the standards that most women look for.
The way i see it, most women are nothing but gold diggers and the sex in the city types who want men with deep pockets, money and who look are geeks in the likes of Bill Gates and Steve jobs.
Your Average geek, will be less looked upon, unless women seek them for their technology skills.
See for me, i am a geek or a hack, but i don’t see women come looking for me so that means women will go for geeks with money and deep pockets and not the average geeks like me
Nick, you need to calm down man. Do you know why women look for cash? Really, do you know why? Yes, there is more to this than you realize. While some actually want the money for a Pooie Vooton bag, the majority don’t. Many women will only marry/have kids AFTER they have a HOUSE. It is a SURVIVAL thing… Instincts would have to be really stupid if women just felt they could bring a huge financial liability into the world without having their asses covered. Look, I happen to prefer the term nerd, but I am a geek through and through. I actually don’t happen to look it, but I am obsessed with gadgets and other crap. However, actually CARING about women goes a LONG way man… hell, I’m a college student… not exactly swimming in money. You should just stop targeting shallow women who care about other things, and meet women who care about brains. Aside from that, why the hell would women SEEK OUT geeks? Again, nature would instill a desire to seek out a mate who cares about you, and can provide. The media hasn’t done a good job of promoting empathy and geeks as being good lovers. Remember, a man can run from a baby, deny being the father, etc. A woman has to look at herself as constantly in danger of having a baby if a condom breaks or something. Don’t take out your hostility upon women just because you in particular lack the skills necessary to attract them.
Women underestimate the delightfully kinky nature of most geeks. The geek is a wonderfully evil creature. I should know, I have one.
See, i’m a 29 yr old male. I’m a college kid and yes i am a geek aka hack. I don’t see women crawling over me because i have the tech skills they want. Because i am a geek or hack, i have never seen or dated any women since teenage so yes, i am a lonly hack and i stick to my computer and laptop.
I feel that women mostly will go for guys who have deep pockets and money. Most women i see are nothing but gold diggers. It’s a fact that most women will care about just money and guys who have deep pockets.
I know i’ll never date any women because all they ever care about is money. It’s like this, women care about money and a guy with deep pockets, but when she has a kid, they guy with deep pockets or money will run, but the geek will be their for the kids.
i’ve had a few good experiences dating geeks, but there are a few variables to consider as well. geeks will not always be the most physically attractive, or well groomed, men. you have to have the ability to reconsile your desire for intelligence with the typical geek’s lack of a robust, manly physique. however, my geek boyfriend of two years had hidden attractiveness. sometimes you just have to uncover it
Nick: Not all women care about money. Attitude is a large part of being attractive. I believe that if you think that your geekiness and lack of money results in your being unattractive to women, then your attitude around women will be that you don’t expect them to like you. And they will feel this and realize, “This guy isn’t interested in me.”
Perhaps I have met a disproportionate number of girls who like geeks and don’t care about money. Maybe it is because I’m at a prestigious university. But maybe I just find them more easily because I have learned to treat my “geeky” skills just like athletes treat their physical prowess and like rich dudes treat their wallets – as what means I have to get attention, respect, and girls.
I love geeksy guys, and always have. I’m the girl that’s in there playing D&D with them, lending them my SF and Fantasy novels, and playing big sister when they need advice. I also love to date geeks–yes, they are appreciative and worshipful, but I think any man who dates me should feel like that, as I should of him. My geek boy can fix my computer, yes, but he’s also applied his nimble fingers and cunning brain to figuring out hte best ways to make me orgasm over and over and over.
I don’t care about money–all I care about is the time I get to spend with him. He’s so damn sarcastic and funny, and sweet and smart, I don’t care if he has no money.
Yes — computer geeks and violinists have the best fingers.
I just see it as this, most wome are more concern about a man’s financial wealth than anything else. I see it as if a geek don’t have what women want, women will always overlook them.
Plus i know that being a geek, aka hack, i’ll never see a woman in my lifetime. I know women will always over look me for that other guy who’s not a geek and who has major cash and is extremly sucessful.I never dated in high school and until now still never dated all because women consider me a geek and undesirable. I know i’ll be single for life because women find geeks like me a loser in their minds and frankly, I still believe that most women out their are nothing but gold diggers who would rather have a guy with deep pockets and major cash than a geek with tech skills.
I see that article as just another way for women to use geeks for their own gain and not realize what they get in having a geek like myself, who has been overlooked for a very long time.
The only time women will ever date and marry a geek, is if he’s so rich, sucessful and is made of money in the likes of Bill Gates, Steve Jobs.
Other than that your average geek will be overlooked and in a woman’s mind a last resort for a date.
See, i’m a geek, but i don’t see women come looking for me just because i have the tech skills. So all this about women looking for geeks is nothing more than just using them for their own gain.
Nick, I think women are overlooking you because of your stunning personality.
Women are gold diggers just because you don’t have one? I don’t think so.
Yes I don’t have one and yes i am a geek. Yes i stay home alot on my computer fixing other peoples computer.
Yes I never had a date in my entire life, so what’s new.
Yea i know i’ll be single for life ans i’ll never beable to date because women over look me for being a geek.
Heh, interesting topic, but as a geek myself i’ve studied it extensively :D
The problem with all this is that it ignores a basic biological fact: humans are pack animals, hence the females look for the alpha males. It’s not something that can be overlooked so easily. And the sad fact is that almost every single geek is *NOT* an alpha male, who by definition is rare.
The result is the easily observable behavior of lonely geeks that keep themselves more and more lonely because of the vicious feedback loop of being lonely. Hence the bitterness towards women easily observed too (shown here by Nick). You’ve gotta admit that women, specially pretty ones, can be downright nasty, and geeks take a fair share of that nastyness.
The topic runs very very long, but it can be summed in the fact that women *WILL NOT* look for geeks unless he also has at least some alpha traits (like the Microsoft husband guy of that woman of the article, who has economical power and probably some social or executive one too), because women *WILL NOT* go for a guy they aren’t biologically atracted to (unless they have some other reasons), which is the basic assumption behind this article and the overused advice of “Just be yourself”.
That’s the harsh reality, and the reason most geeks are alone and will stay alone until they develop themselves enough. I presonally have done my homework :P
I’m a woman who likes geeks. I find them more attractive. I don’t give a fuck about money. I actively seek out geeks. But I like geeks who like women – which damn few of the commenters here seem to.
And before anyone starts the ad hominem crap, I’m an attractive woman. many of my friends feel the same way about geeks, and they are attractive women too.
This kind of generalization is totally ridiculous.
Nick, doll, women aren’t avoiding you because you are poor or a geek. They are avoiding you because you are depressing. Every single guy I’ve dated has been a geek, always some flavor of engineer. Why? Bright guys get me wet :-) It’s pretty simple, if a guy doesn’t have a mind I’m interested in, there will not be any amazingly fabulous sex. It won’t work. And something else about the lovely geek, most of them are used to not being mainstream and are more attractive for liking that about themselves. You sound like you hate yourself and all of the women who haven’t dated you: it’s NOT a TURN ON. Learn to like yourself, develope some social activities, gain some confidence. Stop assuming you’ll be single forever, that all women are gold-diggers, or that the source of your problems is being a poor geek. Oh, and grow a pair. It takes balls to be the kind of man that a healthy hetero woman will want.
yea im a dice rolling, computer playing, swing dancing geek and although my relationships have been few and far between, they have been great. i’d have to say Maryaime’s “do’s and dont’s” would be more convincing/helpful to somen considering going out with one of us than the 10 reasons why. Nick, you sound depressive dude, i had a similar view of women for a bit, it sucks and doesn’t help fix the situation, get some help. I definately agree with Nathan on the nimble fingers *evil grin* All that said, i haven’t found many women interested in me as a geek, they were interested more because i’m a great guy they wanted to know better and be with.
I don’t like that article. It isn’t about appreciating a guy’s geeky qualites, it’s about exploiting them. I’d rather not date than date a woman who liked me for those reasons.
It’s about on par with an article that said “Date ugly women, they’re grateful.”
Try when ur 30 or 40 years old, still single, a geek and yes dateless and then tell me.
I just feel that women do not appreciate geeks fully and that Geeks are taken advantage of.
I had girls once back in school who used me because i had skills in computers. They prmoised to date me, but in the end got used and tossed over like a used can of soda. So since then, i’ve became bitter about women and how they treated geeks like me. I knew women wern’t going to date me and i knew to this day i am stil bitter over the fact that women over look me for someone who act’s like a bad boy, have deep pockets or is made of money.
See, i still harbor resentment over the fact that i am still single geek at 29 and have never dated. I still resnt the being overlooked by other women and being left in the stands. I’ve been single since teenage and to this day my only sole social life evolves around computers.
I blame the society and media for brainwashing women to overlook geeks unless he’s made of money or he’s got deep pockets like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.
Yes i try being myself, but that never got me anywhere other than being at home on a saturday night with no date whatsoever.
My life evolves around, eat, sleep, study and work. I never bothered to think about a social life mainly because i have felt that women will always reject me for being a geek and somewhat a computer hack.
Nick, I got two words for you: GEEK GIRLS. Yes, there are she-geeks out there. Go to a sci-fi convention or something. Chat one up. You’d be surprised at what you can find. The word FUN tends to apply quite a bit.
If that fails… you can always switch teams. Since you hate women so much, why not try men?
I’m bi, so I’m open to anyone with an interesting personality.
Nick, please be a dear and go back and read what Kali said. Read it out loud. Take it to heart, she’s offering you the best advice anyone can.
The blame – *responsibility* is the word I would use – is on you. If you can admit that, then you can try to change it. No one can help you if you don’t want to help yourself. I just went through a hard time with this myself.
If you just want to keep whining, keep it to your own website, because you’ve worn out your welcome here.
Also, since i never dated any women, mu assumptions on women are;A. their taken already or B, their a Lesbian or Bi and not interested in a guy.
I assume that all the time with women and even on college campus. Most women i see, i assume that they are either taken or a lesbian or bi and are not intersted.
Look, I’m not mad or anything, I’m just weary of intentions of most women when they date a geek. Their has to be some hidden motives for dating a geek other than his technical skills.
Like most women they use a guy and dump him after their done with them.
Women don’t full appreciate geeks for what they are, they just appreicate them because they can fix their computer or gadets.
What i am mad about is that women don’t appreciate geeks and don’t take a full advantage of a geek. They just use them and toss them.
Nick, I know what it’s like. I am a boy and I know how you feel lonely and how you just hurt inside. Also, now you are talking to everyone here and they are all being slightly condescending and calling you “dear” and “doll”, saying that there is no big problem that you have, that girls are not so bad and that the fault is yours. How stupid to hear! But here I am, telling you yet more advice. Take this not too seriously, because I am not the sort of person who has “great success with girls” or anything like that. I only had 1 girlfriend ever, and it was because she was an emotionally needy, depressed person who many other people disliked. In fact, people who do have “success” with girls and who call themselves “pimps” get on my nerves quite a lot.
The problem is, you get depressed and disillusioned, and then you become unpleasant to be around, which causes people to want you to leave, which causes you to become more depressed and disillusioned, and so on and so forth. It is, as people have already said, a feedback loop or an error catastrophe. And it sucks. But girls, like all people, are people, and they are not rotten to the core. But many are outwardly rather cynical and superficial.
It’s just that, to most people, being depressed is annoying behavior, and it is a barrier to getting to know you better. Think about it. If some girl talks to you, you probably respond with something mildly rude, instead of the social pleasantries most people expect. This makes them not talk to you any more. I know what it’s like. It sucks. But people are not rotten to the core, they are just, every one of them, rotten slightly on the outside.