The Why Of Butt Sex
Always Aroused Girl got asked, essentially, “why in the hell…?” More specifically, “why would a woman need anal sex, when she’s got a vagina, the ideal self-lubrified device that mother nature specially crafted for the purpose?”
She responded, in part:
Sometimes we do things not because we need to, but because we want to. Because we really REALLY want to. Because for months or even years, we’ve wanted to. Because something deep inside our tiny reptilian brains screams out in a voice that cannot be ignored, “Penetrate my bottom!”
And if you are wise, if you love your ass (and why wouldn’t you love your ass?) you will listen to that part of your brain, because (and this is the secret) ass sex feels really great to some people. It feels really great to some men and some women. It feels really great to some straight folks and some not-straight folks.
It doesn’t feel better than vaginal sex, nor does it feel worst than vaginal sex. It just feels different. It feels different in the same way that oral sex feels different than vaginal sex. It feels different in the same way that blue looks different from red. It feels different in the same way that lasagna tastes different from steak.
None of those things are intrinsically better or worse. They are just different.
If you are among those folks for whom anal sex feels really great, you’ll know what I mean, Annie. You’ll know exactly why it’s worth the effort to prepare your ass (and your mind) for anal sex. You’ll know exactly why you devote the time to working with your partner toward anal sex.
You do it because buttsex feels really great, and it feels really great to share that really great feeling with your partner.
And the only way you’ll know if you are one of the folks who loves anal sex is if you try anal sex.
But Annie, please don’t have anal sex until you know you want to try. When you are ready to try, a small voice in your head will start begging. You’ll be enjoying your traditional sexual activities when suddenly you’ll hear, “Play with me, please!”
And you’ll discover that it’s your ass begging for attention. If that happens, consider exploring buttsex.
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I’ve been wondering about this topic for a long time. At least as long as since I tried it with my ex-wife quite a ways back when on our honeymoon. She didn’t take to it, nor did I, not having taken the necessary hygienic measures. I felt OK about leaving it at that. In my later meditations on this, I guessed the kick might be in the tight fit, which of course speaks for itself, especially when you get to the age when most female partners have given birth once or twice. Then there is that masculine in control-of-things feeling of the read-end position in any case. And if the lady gets a thrill out of having her bowels plumbed and plowed, what the hell, let her have it! As far as I’m concerned, Always Aroused Girl has the best and last word on this. One more thing, whether we are all gay or not, I wonder how much the guys like having their wives diddle up their own tight butts for a change…
It’s like anything else, some like it, some don’t. I’ve heard of relationships that foundered because the man wanted it and the lady wanted no part of it.
I recently experienced this with a female partner recently. I had been rather against it until I really checked it out with a willingly lady and must say it was very fun. I look forward to more.
Thank you most kindly for the creme-filled linky goodness, Bacchus.
The nerve endings in the butt are soooo amazing. Also, the g-spot can be hit from a totally different way from the ass.
But it’s not for everyone. There’s nothing wrong with that.
I personally LOVE to “diddle” up my partner’s butt on occasion. It’s fabulous. :)
Heh. It turns out the my female partner doesn’t easily climax with vaginal penetration. I mean, it adds to her experience, but she still needs clitoral stimulation to get her there. She certainly enjoys a good stroke to her G-spot.
However, slip a finger or a member into her ass, and she comes to a screaming climax right then and there. It’s unreal how well her body responds to this sort of touch. In fact, she’s kind of abashed about how much she clearly likes it.
I would say give it a go. Invest in a thick, water-based and glycerine-free lubricant. Trim your finger nails and use an emory board on your fingertip (not just the nail). Add a finger to oral pleasure, keeping in mind that stimulating the first inch within is all you’re really after. Keep it at that for quite some time, and you’ll find /she’ll/ be the one that pops that question of popping this particular cherry.
And as a man who had psychological issues with all of this, but had the amazing circumstance to know a woman who convinced me of some things.. I can say that yes, it’s different.. but still very intimately enjoyable.
And uhhh.. yes… it works both ways too. Again, speaking from one male perspective, I can say the idea of having my own ass penetrated was repugnant to me. But this woman played… teased.. which I found very enjoyable… and next thing I knew (well, it wasn’t exactly the “next” thing), I felt her finger penetrate me… and there was this instant of discomfort, admittedly – but then there was another instant of… “damn, that feels kinda good!…”
The next time, what I thought was her finger was a butt plug. I had no idea until she told me that.. ummmm.. I had.. taken almost all of it… and was kinda surprised herself.
Moisture.. lubrication… yeah.. that’s kind of important.. but once you have it.. it just might be worth considering trying out :)
And this from a guy that some years ago, found the whole idea quite repugnant.
i totally get what youre saying here about the “difference” between anal sex and vaginal sex. its not better or worse, just different. and totally worth all the effort that it takes to “prepare” for it.
love your site by the way….will for sure be visiting regularly..
You really do have to have a partner in the mood. If they don’t want it, don’t try to force it. And even if they want to experiment, it’s best to take it slow. Inserting a thumb or finger into their anus, or rubbing on it with your thumb while doing doggy from behind is a good start. It starts to associate anal pleasure with other forms of pleasure. If she’s totally not into it, then you both will quickly know with just trying to insert a finger. With a bit of time, you can get a slender butt plug (very slender one, the size of a finger), and insert that while having vaginal sex. Once she gets used to that, then you can move on to larger butt plugs, or try anal if you’re average sized. The trick is to make sure she’s had a bowel movement lately…and for her to eat a high fiber diet. If she’s constipated, then her sphincter will be really tight and painful. But a high fiber diet helps the sphincter relax a lot. If she’s had a bowel movement in the past few hours, then the chances are slim to none her colon will have anything in it. You can do enemas if that’s a concern. The other key to anal is lube…lots and lots of lube. Preferably oil-based. Keeping a bottle of olive oil or such on hand to pour more lube in is essential. With everything oiled up, it’s very easy to push in. Then it’s just a matter of working her up. Start with some play, some fingers, then move on to light pushing with the penis or butt plug. Eventually you’ll use your penis. It’s best if your gf/bf either likes it (gets pleasure by it) or is the type that gets aroused by treated like a whore (IE: gets aroused at being used by their partner, regardless of whether they like what’s going on or not). I had one partner that didn’t like anal particularly, but she liked feeling used, as if she was my own personal whore that I could do whatever I wanted with. Anal can be seen as a form of sexual punishment/domination, and that gets some folks off. Sure, you can do vaginal, but doing anal is definitely a domination position. Anal can be interesting, because the initial sphincter provides a lot of pressure, but once you’re past it it’s very soft, like oral. This can make it difficult to get off. I don’t recommend ramming it in and out of the sphincter, because that can put a lot of stress on your partner’s o-ring. Just keep it in, and steady, and work it back and forth without pulling out. Eventually you’ll work up to an orgasm. If you had unprotected sex, then you’ll need to urinate after to clean out your urethra. She’ll need to also use the restroom to let the cum flow out if she feels like she needs to do so. Anal can be interesting for different reasons, and can add a new level of play to the bedroom. And as a guy, you’ll get to find out if you like vaginal or anal. I prefer vaginal, but anal is interesting when used as a domination role-play, or if you absolutely want to have unprotected sex with a fertile monogamous partner and not risk her getting pregnant. I prefer how vaginal feels, but I like the domination aspects of anal and my partner giving themselves to me completely. I like each for their own merits. But you really do have to work with your partner on it. And if it’s not working out, then don’t push it. No means no.