7 Responses to “Sucking Skillz”

1. Chase said (on December 6th, 2011 at 10:37 pm)

   WOW that is crazy. Im jealous of her boyfriend

2. Dr. Whiplash said (on December 7th, 2011 at 12:08 am)

   She could always get a day job in the circus as a sword swallower…

   … and then there’s also this “hat trick” she’d likely be good at…

3. FrankN.Stein said (on December 7th, 2011 at 9:24 am)

   I think I’m in love…

4. Emmanuelle Undine said (on December 15th, 2011 at 7:31 pm)

   Wow. I want to learn how to do that without up-chucking. Any leads? I’m serious. :)

5. Pam said (on December 19th, 2011 at 8:05 am)

   I love watching this (im a girl) but those dildos awaken bad memories because they burn when I use them!

6. Dr. Whiplash said (on December 22nd, 2011 at 12:52 am)

   Note to Emmanuelle Undine:

   Unfortunately, I can’t give you first-hand advice, but over the years I have heard and read these tips:

   1.) Get on you knees, because this allows you to relax better as you throw your head back (which tends to naturally open the throat more). Many sword-swallowers use this position as it forms a straight passage down the throat.

   2.) Jutting your chin and jaw forward a bit also will open your throat more.

   3.) Practice saying “Ahhh” like your doctor asks you to do when he’s giving a throat examination, and try to lower the pitch of your voice as much as possible. This opens your throat and forces the back of your tongue down.

   4.) Now begin to practice tip #3 silently until you can open your throat at will. Keeping the throat held open, practice breathing in and out.

   5.) Stick your tongue out as far as possible as this will make more room at the back of your throat.

   6.) Pick an intelligently chosen phallic-shaped object with which to practice. Never use an object which can be fully ingested (such as a hot-dog), because when it slips out of your fingers, you won’t be able to retrieve it, and you will choke to death before you learn to accomplish your goal. You want an object with a flared base, too large to get beyond your front teeth. I would suggest investing in a good quality flexible silicone dildo with testicles.

   Buying from a woman-owned sex-toy company would be a wise move, as they can usually steer you away from inferior jelly plastic dildoes containing phthalates (a known reproductive toxin).

   Phthalates are a poisonous, oily, solvent put into most flexible plastics to keep them pliable and from cracking for as long as possible, and they tend to leech out of the products which contain them. (See comment #5)

   Phthalates are responsible for that “new car smell” and that acrid stench that comes from a brand new vinyl shower curtain liner.

   Another reason for NOT using hot-dogs, bananas, zucchinis or other such items is that they can be bitten off in an involuntary jaw spasm and become a choking hazard. They also can break off unexpectedly, or pinch off in a throat spasm.

   The ideal practice item is probably a sympathetic male friend with a smaller penis. As you get the hang of it, you can gradually graduate to porn-star sized monsters.

   7.) Immerse your practice implement in tepid water, ideally about body temperature or a degree or two warmer, this will help relax the muscles and defeat the natural gag reflex.

   8.) You may want to apply an edible lubricant such as a vegetable oil that has also been warmed to room temperature. An actual edible commercial sex lubricant will work even better. Find one with a taste that you don’t find objectionable.

   9.) Now it’s time to slip your chosen phallus into your mouth at a comfortable depth. Try to learn to get used to it gently prodding at the back of your throat. Knowing that it can’t break off, or otherwise slip all the way down your throat and get lost, should help you relax your gag reflexes.

   Practice silently saying “Ahhh” as you tilt back your head, stick out your tongue, and push on the dildo. You may feel a slight pop as the head slips past your epiglottis. Just don’t force anything by pushing or pulling too abruptly, and you should get the hang of it with enough practice. Moving the tongue slightly in and out can help work the dildo or penis in deeper. Try to move the tongue in an action that mimics the index finger giving a “come here” motion. There won’t really be enough room to accomplish this, but somehow the wiggling attempt helps.

   At any point you may well experience a vomiting sensation at which point you should pause, and if necessary, back off or remove the invader until you feel settled. Pausing without backing off is your goal however, and will usually lead to a quicker success.

   Even once you have learned to avoid the gag reflex, you may experience a natural tightening in the throat, as it clamps a bit on the phallus, but this too should eventually pass as you become accustomed to the whole process and the involuntary muscles relax.

   This may require many many days of practice, ideally several times a day just before you eat your meals when you stomach is empty. Practicing with a full stomach will more likely cause the vomiting sensation, and will likely cause you to actually lose the meal.

   Try not to drink anything for about an hour before a practice session.

   Some women report using their own fingers to secretly tickle the backs of their throats throughout the day, until the gag reflex just disappears.

   Remember however, the gag reflex is your friend, it helps to keep you from choking to death, or killing yourself by chugging beer until you get alcohol poisoning.

   Also, remember to check your dildo (or other rubber or plastic item), before each use for cracks, which could mean dry-rotting, or otherwise lead to a tear or break.

   One last note… Some women will gargle (and spit) vodka for a few minutes or use a throat-numbing sore-throat spray as well, but I’m not too sure of the wisdom of these techniques. It sounds to me like it may be a good way to injure the throat. Pain is your body’s way of telling you that something’s wrong.

   A single large glass of wine however may help you to relax over all, but I’d stop there. This isn’t something you want to experiment with in a state of intoxication.

7. Jemma said (on July 8th, 2012 at 10:40 pm)

   Thanks for this been sucking for years hundredsvof times but I learned a lot !

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