How To Objectify Women
I’ve always been contemptuous of objections to objectification. We all do it to each other, men and women alike; I think it’s part of the human condition and to rail against is akin to railing against lust itself. What matters, it seems to me, is to pay sufficient attention to how much and especially how you do it. Hence I was amused to see this paragraph from the frighteningly-brilliant Ta-Nehisi Coates in The Atlantic:
A few weeks ago my wife asked me if I would ever engage in cat-calling. I told her that as I am now–respected writer with a son in private school, a wife studying at an Ivy, and latte at the ready–I would not. But had things gone some other way (as they easily could have) I can’t say what I’d do. Street harassment is a kind of implied violence, a tool most embraced by those who lack the power to set laws, men who are in doubt of themselves. Real men objectify women with dignity and decorum.
Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=10189
The “objectification” wrangle is mostly about the rapidly changing roles of women in a society entirely male-dominated just a generation or two ago.
Every time we tune our behaviors (consciously or not) to other human beings we don’t know intimately – to their appearance, clothing, speech, social role – we’re objectifying them. When men do it with women around attractiveness or ‘sexiness’ they’re making mostly unconscious judgments of health, reproductive status, genetic cues, etc. And, until the new status of women is deeply acculturated into all our values and institutions, they’re doing something at least moderately dangerous.
When a younger woman dismisses me with a glance as “old guy,” she’s doing precisely the same thing, for precisely the same reasons. :-)
Actually men in groups who objectify women (like when catcalling) are often doing it to gain favour/status in the group, there is no real expectation that the woman will be convinced they’re a good mate. It’s about power and control.
Where is the line though? Today at a medieval festival, while all dressed up in my period garb, I winked at a pretty lady who was also dressed up. She wasn’t offended, in fact she asked her friend to take a photo of her standing next to me (our group was standing in front of the camp so people could take photos of/with us). Because I judged her solely on her external cues (nice dress, red lipstick), was I objectifying her? I think there’s a line, somewhere around where potential mutual interest and similar status meet. Or doesn’t winking count as objectification?
He won’t? I take it he doesn’t own a cat, then!
Justin’s description of cat-calling being about power and control is not at odds with Coates; the people with least control generally are most desirous of control among their peers.
I agree that what’s important is to recognize when and how we objectify others — and to recognize when that objectification gets in the way of our treating others as full human beings, and strive to see the other through it.