The fantasy of a fully-automated blowjob machine has inspired the technical imaginations of horny dudes since (I would imagine) the invention of the first automaton, sometime thousands of years ago in deep antiquity, perhaps in China or Greece.

Contrivances as simple as a hole in a warm melon have sometimes been applied to the task; likewise, complex creations of well-crafted leather, rubber, plastic, and diverse fabrics. Suction, vacuum, and vibration were added gradually, as the mechanical arts advanced.

A true blowjob machine is like automated intelligence (AI) itself — the definition tends to shift as existing technology gets better and better. But we live in an age of miracles, and many of today’s best contenders for the title of “blowjob machine” are very good indeed!

This is not, however, a post to talk about practical and existing blowjob machines. There are whole sites for that, covering every spectrum of the rainbow of male masturbation devices. You can get a good notion of the current state of the blowjob machine art at, for example, BestBlowjobMachines.com. But you know me, I have “cutting edge” interests. I like to push the envelope. I am as interested in ancient blowjob contrivances, impractical sucking devices, and science-fictional futuristic mechanical-blowjob conceptual designs as I am in today’s art of the mechanically possible. And to satisfy my jones for whimsical devices that aren’t actual products yet, I perforce must turn to porn. Luckily for me, there’s plenty of erotic art that explores this space!

The photo above may represent, I am forced to concede, a step too far into the uncanny valley. That blowjob robot face looks a little too much like a garbage disposal for my taste. There’s room for a second pass through the design room, with an eye toward concealing all those dick-manipulators behind a more appealing plastic face. But on the other hand, I know dudes. If it feels good, there’s an awful lot of us who just won’t look!

Which is not to say that an attractive face on your fellatio-optimized sexbot is at all a bad thing. I think most of my fellow horndogs would at least prefer it. Sturdy ears and/or pony tails for grabbing onto? Desirable, but not necessary. Likewise… arms? Leaving them out of the design is a bold choice, but arguably they just get in the way. I cannot explain, though, why this fellatio-optimized gynoid has an old-fashioned hand crank where her arms used to be. I assume she’s adjustable, but… perhaps a keypad next time, fellows?

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