Over the weekend my learned friend Dr. Faustus called my attention to an alternate version of the myth of Heracles (who the Romans called Hercules) and the fifty daughters of Thespius. In the standard tale he slept with all fifty daughters on sequential nights (and got a son on each of them, truly was he a mighty hero) but in the alternate version, he slept with them all at once, more or less as the orgiastic mechanics permitted, on the same night. And, me being me, my first question was “Where are the Rule 34 depictions of this most heroic episode in the history of breeding kinkery?”

And, well, my friends, the answer is… disappointing. There’s not a lot out there. But the French artist Gustave Moreau took a whack at it, on a gargantuan canvas that’s two and a half meters on a side that he began painting in 1853 and never did complete. Sadly, he chose to depict what the Musée national Gustave Moreau delicately terms “the moment before this great act of generation” and even so, he never completed it; it was still “a work in progress” as late as 1882. About five years after he started painting it, his mom rather hilariously wrote to him about it, saying:

Your father was asking me yesterday evening if I thought that you would create something better than your Hercules surrounded by women. I think that you have made enormous progress, and I will not be very surprised if you do, as I have great hopes for my son, and I am convinced that he will satisfy them.

Dear readers, if you know of any genuine Rule 34 depictions of Heracles/Hercules properly swiving his way through the whole pile of Thespius’s daughters, by all means guide us to them by means of links in the comments!

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