There may once have been a time when an unemployed dude with a good dick could mooch off an endless sequence of women willing to feed and house a worthless layabout sort-of-a-man “for the D”. But in this economy? The wind is shifting, the times are changing. I stole the following from TikTok and could not source it properly; some woman working a findom (financial domination) hustle was lipsynching to an uncredited sound clip. Imagine the following in AAVE:

As a man in today’s economy, if the only thing that you have to offer is dick, we gonna take you out, we gonna put you on a corner, you gonna sell it, right? And then you gonna get the money, and you gonna bring it back to me, okay?

That’s your future as a broke-ass boyfriend. No more Xbox and chill for you!

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