I don’t know if moms in 2026 still struggle to persuade little boys to wash their hands, but when I was knee high to a grasshopper, it was a persistent concern of my own mother. And there’s plenty of “gender discourse” on the modern internet about dubious male hygiene standards; if you’ve missed the viral anecdotes from traumatized young women in new relationships with men who don’t seem to wash their own asses, count yourself lucky. Today’s anecdote concerns a man-shaped human who may have spelunked his own unwashed ass before offering his contaminated fingers to a lady-friend for sucking/tasting. Apparently his poor mom’s efforts to teach him handwashing were an abject failure:

Today, I hung out with the guy I’ve been crushing on for a while, and it’s always “platonic,” but recently it’s become a littleeee bit spicy — at least with conversations. Long story short, he put his fingers in my mouth as far as he could, and in the moment, I was into it. But as soon as I breathed in, I smelled the most RANK stench of butt. Like, seriously rank. I gagged immediately.

This happened an hour ago, and I’ve brushed my teeth now 7 times. I feel like I just tasted man butt. I had butt fingers in my mouth. I’m so turned off. I wish this was a joke; cannot even believe my life. I viewed this man so highly for so long, and I wanted to enjoy this (barely) intimate moment with him so badly, but instead that happened. But he is truly not a good fit for me, and perhaps this was a wake-up call for me to get the fuckkkkk away from him, and I think it’s going to work now. I can’t think of him without smelling that smell.

This has been circulating on various social platforms, but probably comes originally from Reddit.

Gentlemen, don’t be ass-fingers guy!

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