Well, not really. But the headline is almost as much fun as the AOL Kills Puppies business below.

Anyway, if you read the Volokh Conspiracy, you will find that the conspirators are having fun discussing the way CBS fudged the numbers on some web pages connected with their recent “Guns in America” show. CBS defined “Kids” and “Juveniles” as including people up to age 24, which they apparently did so that their scare statistics about child firearms deaths could be hugely inflated. (Memo to CBS: Drug dealers — or anyone else — between the ages of 18 and 24 are not kids.) An astute reader then pointed out that Monica was only 23 when she and Bill got down and dirty in the oval office. The result? If you are inclined to believe what CBS reports about guns in America, then you should also believe that Clinton was a child molester.

The formerly shell-shocked Shell from Across the Atlantic provides this anecdote, proof that children don’t need to be trained to be extortionate little pirates:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now”she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,”If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy’s pee-pee last night!” The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

Body graffiti, it’s all the rage:

Here’s proof that even bad solutions to engineering problems have to be designed:

This is only marginally on topic for a sex blog, but the headline was impossible to resist. And it does appear that the ridiculous and puppy-fatal rule in question may be related to AOL’s overall attempt to look family-friendly (i.e., anti-sex). If nothing else, this serves as a demonstration that failure to get on the Clue Train is fatal to puppies and other living things. From this web page (which probably won’t be there much longer):

AOL has a rule in the fine print that says that we must NOT put a web link into any email!! Yep – it’s there in the fine print. Take a look.

Well I had our website ( www.amrt.net ) on the bottom of my email and someone ratted me out – saying they found the amrt.net website “offensive” – this is the site for dogs and cats in animal shelters – not a porn site.

So AOL went in and changed my password. Oh yes they sent me an email explaining why they had changed my password. But I never got that email – because they had changed my password. And I never got the email that told me a litter of puppies needed out of the Downey shelter NOW. And thanks to AOL those puppies died that night.

Ouch.

From the self-described Dirty Whore, this entertaining story of the fun you can have with cooking oil:

We stumbled back to his apartment but stopped at the 7-11 to pick up a bottle of Wesson oil. I ripped down his shower curtain and spread it on the living room floor. I pulled off my clothes and he poured the oil all over my body then joined me on the plastic sheet. Hands slid over each other — the oil felt marvelous — and before I even put my fingers on him, he was hard as a rock. I got onto my hands and knees as he fingerfucked my pussy and slipped an oily finger into my ass. Then two. I moaned, not feeling much pain thanks to the alcohol and Wesson. He entered me quickly, his rigid cock slipping up my virgin hole as our oily bodies slid against each other. The feeling as he moved, my ass tight as a fist around him, was incredible. He exploded inside me, shooting his cum deep into my bowels. I loved it!

It’s a remarkable blog with some interesting stories.

“Is that a broken hydraulic cylinder in your pocket, or are you just happy to see the steam condenser?”

Today’s mechanical marvel has been brought to you by Venomous Kate.