Here’s a site that’s a little sad: “Answers to Recent Anonymous Questions” from a site devoted to “Sex and Intimacy for Married Christians.”

It’s not sad because because so many of the questions display an appalling level of sexual ignorance, although they do. There’s plenty of sexual ignorance in the world, and I don’t think Christians have any corner on it.

It’s sad because so many of the questions reveal people wracked, for periods of years, by terrible feelings of guilt and dirtiness, over things as harmless as a little bit of heavy petting. A worldview that generates this sort of mental pathos from harmless sexual play has much to answer for:

I and my wife are Christians. We have been married for 7 years. We have two children. We come from very conservative background therefore likewise towards sexual matters. However just before we were married, out of some loosness, we had a sexual experience but short of intercourse. However both of us reached organsm (She reached organsm with my caressing and mine through mine). Although it has been so many years and we have asked God for forgivness, I still feel that I cannot get over with it and most importantly feel not in a proper sexual relationship with her ie that experience mar i think my intimacy with her. I guess “What you sow is what you reap.” What do you think? And do you think that this sin has made our body unclean?

The answers given are actually quite sex-positive, to the extent that a sex-positive attitude can shoe-horned (use a lot of lube, you’ll need it) into the constraints of sex within marriage that does not involve any sort of fantasizing.

As you read the site, try not to snicker at the dozen different creative spellings of “orgasm”. It ain’t the least bit funny, when you stop to think of the reason why it’s happening.

The Dixie Chicks, who took a lot of heat lately for speaking their minds, have apparently decided not to stop. This surely is a case where a (nekkid) picture is worth a hundred thousand words. From Yahoo:

As a PR move, it’s fucking brilliant. Anyone who just sees the magazine will know where they stand, without reading a word, except perhaps for the words written on their fair skins. It doesn’t matter what you think of their politics or their music; the genius on display here (along with all that yummy flesh) is pure public relations.

Brilliant. Beautiful. Proud. Naked. Bacchus is in love awe.

Something about the last post puts me in mind of the old limerick about Nelly:

A lovely young lady from Thrace
found her corset was too tight to lace.
Her mother said “Nelly,
There’s more in your belly
Than ever went in by your face.”

From an eBay auction, this fetching bondage art from a [racist, see comments] German propaganda medal/coin:

Going for a lot of moolah, alas.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• "Die Wacht am Rhein"

Poor Halley. A worldly woman, there can be no doubt. But when she set out to critique the porn spam in her mailbox (a hilarious and worthy idea) she inadvertently revealed a slight…gap…in her pornographical education.

The spam:

Stacy is a starving biology student. She said the reason she would take two huge cocks inside her was because “I need the money!”

Halley proceeds to impugn both Stacy’s biological and her business sense:

And WHY is this alleged biologist-wannabe putting these two cocks in her vagina — and this makes, I’m telling you, NO SENSE — the writer tells us “I need the money!” Because she needs the money? Who, exactly, is paying for this transaction?

Let’s posit for a moment that, in fact, she is a bio major who moonlights as a common whore — a stretch of the imagination dear readers, I know, but stay with me on this. If she were propositioning guys to fuck her with huge cocks — why on earth would any reasonable man pay to compete with another customer’s huge dick for space in Stacy’s cunt? It just does not make solid economic sense. Stacy is no business major. So instead of getting two guys paying to fight over what is essentially one parking place, shouldn’t she reconsider the whole scenario and take them on one at a time?

Halley, Halley, Halley. You’re reading too much into this. “One parking place?” “Inside her”, yes, but there are ways, and there are ways.

Perhaps some visual aids are in order. Fair warning, gentle reader: like any good visual aids these links leave nothing to the imagination.

First, using the modest, time-honored, and maiden-aunt-approved device of substituting carrots for actual male members: Perhaps Stacy meant she wanted two cocks inside her not this way, but instead this way? It makes simultaneity much less implausible.

The skeptical reader will observe, with some justice, that those two carrots in the latter picture are not attached to any actual fellows, and might further observe that, were they attached to actual fellows, the angles involved would be problematic.

And perhaps that’s so. But the problems, if any, are not insurmountable. And guys have been reported to greatly enjoy this sort of sharing, which supposedly provides many of the alleged joys of bumping penises without any risk of catching homoerotic cooties from each other, thanks to the thin protective barrier of female flesh. Bacchus, however, cannot confirm that claim from any first-hand knowledge.

At this point, however, we may safely conclude that more time has been spent analyzing the porn spam in question than ever went into its authorship.

Saddam Hussein starred in gay porn films when he was a student. Really. Well, “really” according to Yahoo:

Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein has been caught with his pants down – literally. A shocking 1968 porn film has surfaced, in which the flamboyant strongman appears performing raunchy homosexual acts!

The image quality of the grainy 16mm film, uncovered by the Kuwaiti secret police, is poor — but experts who’ve taken a close look at the hairy-chested actor are “100 percent certain” it is a younger, trimmer Saddam.
…
“Saddam appeared in as many as 85 of these films under a variety of stage names, most frequently Omar Studdif,” reveals the researcher.
…
In the newly uncovered 86-minute prison flick, Saddam, then just 34, plays a naive young peasant who is wrongly convicted and sent to jail. He is initiated into homosexuality by a series of older and more experienced cons.

“Saddam’s acting in the picture is actually quite good,” al-Sabah notes. “One scene, in which he buries his face in a pillow and cries, is so touching you almost can forget you’re watching a low-budget sexploitation film.”

Yahoo reports it straight with an April 10 dateline from Kuwait City, but this reads like a pure April 01 prank piece. Odds are it first appeared in a Kuwaiti paper on April Fools Day.

Saith the Punning Pundit’s girlfriend:

“Look, just because I am horny and showering you with kisses does not mean that I am trying to seduce you.”

All righty then.