Here’s some hardcore stick figure porn from The Petting Zoo:

Don’t miss their unique version of the hamster dance.

“Recycling” is also…special.

Other people’s children…what can one do?

Alert readers will note that ErosBlog does not link to a lot of actual porn sites. Mostly this is a reader protection measure. Commercial online porn tends to be hideously abusive to its potential customers, punishing them for their curious visit with endless loops of browser-killing pop-ups, browser modification scripts, spyware installers, dialer programs, and other malicious treats.

However, another reason porn sites aren’t discussed more on ErosBlog is that commercial porn tends to be boring. There’s a fetishistic focus on distorted plastic boobs, fake blond hair, and shaved oiled surfaces that frankly don’t look like anything ordinary folks generally manage to have sex with.

Via a link found at Totalitarianism Today, we learn the hopeful news that folks trying to break with the oiled shaved plastic blonde tradition are making money. Good on them; perhaps it will catch on.

Confession time: Bacchus has acted in a fashion not entirely neighborly.

One advantage of a new month is a new set of server logs, which are easy to peruse for anomalous activity. Investigation of a string of hits from an unfamiliar source, which shall remain unlinked, turned up a blog reference to the December story about boob scarves in Japan. However, the link credit was given to the original link source and the only reference to ErosBlog was the silent hot-linking of the image off the ErosBlog server.

That’s just unfriendly; although any unprotected resource on the web is free game for linking, it seems fair that if you are going to burn somebody else’s bandwidth you ought to do them the courtesy of a link credit. Especially where, as here, it appears they discovered the story via ErosBlog.

So the image file has been renamed, and Erosblog rejiggered to point to the new file name. The file now bearing the original name is, um, slightly rude. (One supposes, anyway, that a close camera angle on double penetration is rude?)

Next time, drop a link credit, OK?

Bukkake is one of those hard-core porn concepts that you either know about or you don’t. The Reverse Cowgirl mentions it all the time, but she’s not much help to the clueless. When the word comes up in conversation (yah, as if that happens every day) the folks who aren’t familiar with it look puzzled, and the folks who know what it means refuse to elaborate. Because how could one define this word in even semi-polite conversation?

Carly the Pornblographer gives it a shot, so to speak:

Bukkake is something that I have only a small amount of knowledge on, so some of the more learned members of our industry might want to chime in with some history. But as I understand it, the practice originated in Japan before rising to some popularity in the States. A Bukkake video usually features one of two things: either a girl getting spunked on by numerous (usually) anonymous cocks, or numerous (usually) anonymous cocks spunk into some kind of receptacle, and the girl guzzles it. This is what taking the Atkins Diet too far does to you.

Now if only someone could explain why this is sexy. Yah yah yah, different strokes for different folks, one person’s fetish is another person’s gross out, your kink is not my kink but that doesn’t mean your kink is not OK, et cetera, literally (in this case) ad nauseum. Bacchus still doesn’t get it.

That said, ErosBlog is going out on the cutting (shooting?) edge. If you really really want to know what bukkake is, here is a picture. Publishing a bukkake picture may be a blogging first. If it grosses you out, tough shit — you knew where you were going when you clicked the link.

If anyone feels this is a new low for ErosBlog, you may perhaps be right. Perhaps mixing a Long Island Iced Tea in the one-liter beer mug was not such a good idea. Alas:

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

— Omar Khayyam

Just in case the most successful search engine in the world was at a loss for what to do next, this from a Canadian columnist:

Face it. The most searched for topic on the Internet is still that three-letter word that begins with “s” – and despite the time of year, I’m not talking “ski.”

So why is Google, the most used search engine on the Web, about to launch a shopping service called “Froogle” when what busy people could really use are quality cyber-dating services? Imagine one called “Snoogle” for longer-term relationships, or “Oogle” for those who simply want a hot date.

The top seven signs your grandparents remain sexually active:

7. At night they put their teeth in the same glass.

6. Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of “denture-burn.”

5. Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.

4. Grandma is found cuffed to her walker.

3. Grandma regularly bakes Viagra-chip cookies.

2. Grandma frequently looks at Grandpa’s crotch and claps twice.

And the number one sign your grandparents remain sexually active is:

1. Their Kraft-matic adjustable bed is set for “doggy style.”

Another circulating email thing, guy unknown, let’s just call him Biggus Dickus. (“He has a wife you know….”)

Ladies, I know we generally focus a little too much here at ErosBlog on things of amusement to the gentlemen of default wiring. Please consider this a modest token in the nature of restitution.