Bukkake is one of those hard-core porn concepts that you either know about or you don’t. The Reverse Cowgirl mentions it all the time, but she’s not much help to the clueless. When the word comes up in conversation (yah, as if that happens every day) the folks who aren’t familiar with it look puzzled, and the folks who know what it means refuse to elaborate. Because how could one define this word in even semi-polite conversation?

Carly the Pornblographer gives it a shot, so to speak:

Bukkake is something that I have only a small amount of knowledge on, so some of the more learned members of our industry might want to chime in with some history. But as I understand it, the practice originated in Japan before rising to some popularity in the States. A Bukkake video usually features one of two things: either a girl getting spunked on by numerous (usually) anonymous cocks, or numerous (usually) anonymous cocks spunk into some kind of receptacle, and the girl guzzles it. This is what taking the Atkins Diet too far does to you.

Now if only someone could explain why this is sexy. Yah yah yah, different strokes for different folks, one person’s fetish is another person’s gross out, your kink is not my kink but that doesn’t mean your kink is not OK, et cetera, literally (in this case) ad nauseum. Bacchus still doesn’t get it.

That said, ErosBlog is going out on the cutting (shooting?) edge. If you really really want to know what bukkake is, here is a picture. Publishing a bukkake picture may be a blogging first. If it grosses you out, tough shit — you knew where you were going when you clicked the link.

If anyone feels this is a new low for ErosBlog, you may perhaps be right. Perhaps mixing a Long Island Iced Tea in the one-liter beer mug was not such a good idea. Alas:

The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

— Omar Khayyam

Just in case the most successful search engine in the world was at a loss for what to do next, this from a Canadian columnist:

Face it. The most searched for topic on the Internet is still that three-letter word that begins with “s” – and despite the time of year, I’m not talking “ski.”

So why is Google, the most used search engine on the Web, about to launch a shopping service called “Froogle” when what busy people could really use are quality cyber-dating services? Imagine one called “Snoogle” for longer-term relationships, or “Oogle” for those who simply want a hot date.

The top seven signs your grandparents remain sexually active:

7. At night they put their teeth in the same glass.

6. Grandpa grabs his crotch and complains loudly of “denture-burn.”

5. Not only do you hear the bed squeaking, but also joints.

4. Grandma is found cuffed to her walker.

3. Grandma regularly bakes Viagra-chip cookies.

2. Grandma frequently looks at Grandpa’s crotch and claps twice.

And the number one sign your grandparents remain sexually active is:

1. Their Kraft-matic adjustable bed is set for “doggy style.”

Another circulating email thing, guy unknown, let’s just call him Biggus Dickus. (“He has a wife you know….”)

Ladies, I know we generally focus a little too much here at ErosBlog on things of amusement to the gentlemen of default wiring. Please consider this a modest token in the nature of restitution.

Here’s a spiffy little educational article on “How to Give a Blowjob”, complete with illustrations by Phoebe Gloeckner that manage to be cute and sexy at the same time:

One suspects that nothing taught in high school sex education classes is anything like as useful.

For ideological as well as practical reasons, ErosBlog has no warning page or other mechanism to warn off or usher away underage surfers. However, very little that passes here amounts to useful sex information for those in need of same. Accordingly, the new link at left to Scarleteen (“Sex Education For The Real World”) is long overdue. The site is, simply, awesome. It beats the hell out of getting all your sex information from Alex Comfort’s The Joy of Sex, just as that venerable tome was a considerable improvement over those laughable “Health Information For Young Couples” books of a century ago.

Norma Brown has invented a “Female Security Device”:

The Female Security Device is designed to defend and protect a woman against rape. It is placed within the vaginal cavity of a female to protect and minimize physical damage caused by sexual intercourse. The device is able to retrieve evidence of rape and provide evidence for identifying a perpetrator. This is done by using a needle to to obtain a penile tissue sample and to cause penile tissue irritation, and by obtaining a semen sample.

From the pictures, it appears that instead of the needle, you can get it with a superglue option or an airbag option. Not making this up. The function of the airbag is labeled on the diagram (“deployed as barrier to penetration”) but the “surgical glue spray” option seems as if it would be counterproductive.

Bacchus is an absolutist when it comes to a person’s right to control what enters his or her orifices, by whatever means necessary. (Large caliber handguns are quite effective for this purpose.) Unfortunately, the proposed “Female Security Device” puts one in mind of a man who stays locked in his own concrete basement to avoid the risk of kidnappers. Would not a woman who routinely used such a device be, in a metaphorical sort of way, preemptively raping herself?