Bacchus gets no kickback for this crass commercial link. Not even, worse luck, an offer to participate in product testing. Seems there’s a new line of lip balm (is that what the kids are calling it these days?) with flavors like “Strawberry Snatch” and “Shaved Peach.” Their slogan? “For the Tastiest Lips North of the Hips!”

Bacchus was not born yesterday: these clever kittens don’t say whether the heads of their beds point north or south.

PussyPuckerpots.Com — it’s “Ladylicious!”

Later update: According to their creator Stacy Bias, these products were discontinued in 2006.

Daze Reader alerts us to an erotica auction to be held on Thursday, November 21st.

There’s an illustrated catalog that’s well worth a visit, even if you don’t have thousands of pounds to drop on yummy dirty pictures. (Yes, the estimates are in pounds — this appears to be one of those veddy British auctions from one of those veddy British auction houses.)

The illustration accompanying this entry is borrowed from the auction catalog. It’s by the artist David Wilde and the title is “Juliette”.

The logs say y’all are visiting, but none of ya have left a comment in days. So it’s time for a brand spanking new policy. If you don’t leave some comments, Bacchus will be forced to turn this angry little bear loose on yer asses! Won’t you be sorry then? Oh, you betcha. You can’t begin to imagine — the comment enforcement bear is mean!

This is too cute. From the twisted perverts (Bacchus means this only in the nicest possible way) over at BDSM Cafe we have Beanies in Bondage. Once again, Bacchus is not making this up.

Folks, this is why you read ErosBlog. Admit it, you know it’s true. While those other sex blogs (and most of the other blogs in the blogosphere) were linking to the done-to-death Bondage Barbie story, Bacchus went out and slaved away over hot link lists until he could bring you a hogtied furry stuffed bear wearing a ring gag and and a blindfold. Why you would want to see this remains a mystery, but at least it’s different.

From deep in the archives of I, Asshole, a sweet sweet story:

When I was a newlywed, my brand new husband and I used to play all sorts of little fun games together. One night we were laying in bed starkers and reading books, and I was also eating a box of jawbreakers. For his amusement (I always get into the most trouble when I do things for other people’s amusement), I started putting the jawbreakers one by one into my vagina. He laughed a little bit to humor me, and by the time I got up to about 18 or so he started ignoring me and went back to his book. Eventually, I fell asleep and he turned out the light. Suddenly, at about 2 am I woke up. I was uncovered and chilly; a moment later I realized I was also laying in a big wet puddle that seemed to have an epicenter under my ass.

“Oh God, I wet the bed.”

I considered my options. I could get a towel and cover it up; I could wake him up and inform him that his new wife of 4 months was a bedwetter; or I could smother him with a pillow so that no one would ever find out what happened. Being young and idealistic, I woke him and told him the truth, crying, and I have to say he took it very well. I couldn’t believe it was true; I’d NEVER been a bedwetter, and we hadn’t even been drinking or anything. Just before I ripped off the sheets, I caught a whiff of something… sweet. I bent down to smell the huge went spot and it smelled faintly sugary. Then I remembered the jawbreakers. I did a quick check to see if they were still when I deposited them before bed, and sure enough, they had completely dissolved.

The whole thing gave me a new appreciation for my vagina. If it could melt that much candy in four hours, what else could it do? Corrode steel? Turn lead into gold?

What in the name of Thor’s Tremendous Hammer was this “New Husband” feller thinking? “My lovely naked wife is putting candy up her whatsis for my amusement. What should I do? Should I ask her for a piece? Offer to get it myself? Hmm…what to do, what to do…I know! I’ll go back to reading my book!”

Somebody spent a little too much time on the short yellow bus as a child.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Man Training, Lollipop Edition
• Stick Candy Heaven
• Watch The Lollipop
• Honey, Flies, Bondage
• Got Orange Juice?

Just in case anyone was having trouble visualizing the item (or its uses) under discussion in the Bardex rant below, a quick visit to Double Bardex will fix you right up. It appears to be a Japanese site, and consequently unlikely to be taken off the net by the Bardex lawyers. [And yet, it finally went away.] The site shows several pictures of an “anal retention catheter” as Debrah now must call them, including one shot of the device inflated whilst inside somebody’s hairy butt.