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October 23rd, 2021 -- by Bacchus

The Bukkake “Cone Of Shame”

Per Bondage Blog, this is Sabrina Jade in American Bukkake 13, with her hands (are they tied?) behind her back and the plastic cone of shame duct-taped around her neck:

duct taped into the cone of spermy shame

Does anybody still remember with fondness those innocent days back in 2002 when bukkake was still so unknown to American porn consumers that various sex bloggers wrote bukkake explainers?

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October 22nd, 2021 -- by Bacchus

Haunted Assholes: The 2021 Kink.com Halloween Sale

haunted assholes halloween sale gif

I just about fell out of my chair laughing when I saw the banners for Kink.com’s Halloween Sale this year. The theme is apparently “cartoonishly-haunted assholes” and if a hairy eyeball in one performer’s privates doesn’t make you laugh, the waving technicolor tentacle in the other one’s anus really ought to!

Tentacle sex is not completely unheard of in the vast Kink Unlimited porn library, but it is somewhat rare. Nonetheless I was indeed able to find a couple of shoots in which a pair of fan-favorite Kink performers took on some huge sucker-y tentacles on the Fucking Machines channel. Here they are: Sensi Pearl’s tentacle-sex shoot and Katy Kox’s tentacle-sex shoot too!

fucking machines tentacle sex dildo

fucking machines tentacle sex dildo

Perhaps you thought that the waving purple ass-tentacles at the top of the post were as over-the-top as it was possible for a porn-marketing graphics department to get. If so, I’m sorry, but I am forced to help you revise your thinking. You haven’t seen a properly haunted asshole until you’ve seen three gaseous ghosts taking advantage of a pornified anal-dilation situation to escape from their accustomed hellish colonic depths:

ghostly emanations from her haunted asshole Halloween special banner

None of this Halloween levity nor any of the totally-sophisticated implied fart jokes should distract you from the serious bargain that this sale represents. For the spooky low price of $66 for six months (regular price is about forty bucks for one month) you can join Kink Unlimited, and they promise to offer you that same low price at rebilling time until, as they put it with appropriate holiday flavor, you die!

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October 21st, 2021 -- by Bacchus

Spoiled For Choices

Gentlemen, you have a difficult set of choices facing you. First, the redhead or the brunette?

two luscious women presenting asses and pussies for pounding

Second, well… it comes down to “where do you want to start?” Does Tab D go in Slot A or Slot C?

This set of delicious dilemmas is brought to you by FemJoy.

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October 18th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

Fetish Fuel: Cellophane?

I’ve been using the term “fetish fuel” since at least 2010, but I didn’t make it up. I heard it from Dr. Faustus but he doesn’t claim it; he credits the TV Tropes site, where (prior to them having a sweeping and bloodily-destructive #Pornocalypse moment back in October of 2010) they defined fetish fuel as anything having an unambiguous sexual subtext that’s not explicitly sexual or pornographic. In that era the TV Tropes fetish fuel entry offered dozens of examples, ranging from the Little Mermaid’s seashell bikini to the outfits worn by the notoriously-lovely women who help and assist stage magicians and assorted vaudevillians. More recent entries (but still pre-pornocalypse) offered a more well-honed fetish fuel definition, while shunting off the examples to a different (and also pornocalypse-doomed) Turn On Tropes entry:

In a nutshell, Fetish Fuel is when something in a work isn’t explicit nudity, sexual activity, or something else pornographic, but still causes sexual arousal in the viewer. Usually the cause is that this sets off something sexual for a viewer, particularly a Fetish a viewer has, hence the name. But unlike Nightmare Fuel, this can be intentional just as often as not. See Fanservice and Author Appeal; and see Turn On Tropes for a list of tropes that are often fetish fuel.

All of which is a long-winded way to explain my astonishment at seeing cellophane pop up in a clearly-intended-as-fetish-fuel way in a 1960s men’s magazine. The February 1961 issue of Ace, to be precise:

nude posing draped with huge sheets of cellophane

To my personal sensibilities, cellophane is fairly unsexy stuff; it crinkles and is noisy and unpleasant to handle. But the fetish imagination wants what it wants, and if this photographer didn’t have a cellophane fetish, he or his editors must have been pocketing sponsored-placement fees from DuPont.

Photo above is part of a full two-page spread, which identifies the lovely model as Clara Barrie:

cellophane as fetish fuel nude photo shoot

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October 17th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

Naked Snow Bunny With A Hula Hoop

I’m sure she’s a little chilly, but she seems to be having fun:

nude woman kneeling in the snow with a hoola hoop

Hula-hooping snow bunny is Rita A from Met-Art.

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October 16th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

Helping Her Over The Fence

There’s an old slanderous joke often levied against farmers and other rural types that involves the phrase “helping a sheep through a fence.” But in truth, the real fun is helping a pretty naked girl climb over a fence:

pretty naked girl straddling the rough top pole of a wooden fence

Photo is from FemJoy.

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October 15th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

“Not Into Golden Showers”

Seriously, Twitter? Are you fuckin’ with me?

golden showers trending on twitter

Of course there’s only one person this could be about. You know it, I know it, nobody on twitter needs to click. But I did. And of course it was the former guy, per the Daily Beast:

Top GOP operatives and U.S. senators were in attendance for Trump’s speech at the National Republican Senatorial Committee where he lauded himself as the savior of the party. “It was a dying party, I’ll be honest. Now we have a very lively party,” he told them. [I]n a bizarre and unprompted tangent, he addressed unsubstantiated claims about what he did with prostitutes in Moscow before his presidency. “I’m not into golden showers,” he reportedly told the crowd.

With this mope, the unsolicited denial is the confession, every time.

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