This bit of manuscript illumination is everywhere, but I found the most detailed citation on FaceBook: “Decretum Gratiani with the commentary of Bartolomeo da Brescia, Italy 1340-1345 (Lyon, Bibliothèque municipale, Ms 5128, fol. 100r).

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Today seems like a fine day to examine the rich artistic tradition surrounding the conception of Perseus. Are your umbrellas ready? Good!

It’s a long story, but the short version is: Danaë was locked in a basement by her father (for reasons) but got impregnated anyhow by Zeus, who appeared to her as a shower of gold coins. (Apparently the almighty Zeus had somehow internalized a “chicks dig gold, right?” philosophy of seduction.) The resulting scene has proved to be very popular with artists from every age.

The painting at the top of the post is by Léon François Comerre. This next one is by Alexander Sigov, and the one after that is by Gustav Klimt. At the bottom of the post is artwork from a Greek vase circa 450 BC that’s now in the Louvre.

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From Tumblr:

The sketch was most likely done by Leonardo’s apprentice Salai, who was not only very likely one of Leonardo’s lovers, but who was also infamously mischievous. Better yet, the anus is literally labeled “Salai.”

So either Salai drew these while Leonardo wasn’t looking just to annoy his boyfriend, or Leonardo himself put actual time and energy into drawing these. Either way, the human race is truly blessed to have made such a discovery.

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Here’s a fine earthy poem by Robert Burns. You won’t find it in his standard collections, but if you can find a copy (and good luck to ya!) of his The Merry Muses Of Caledonia, it’s in there:

Cuddy the Cooper

There was a cooper they ca’d him Cuddy,
He was the best cooper that ever I saw;
He cam to girth oor landlady’s tubbie,
He banged her buttocks again the wa’.

Cooper qo she, hae ye ony money?
The deevil a penny, qo Cuddy, at a’!
She teuk oot her purse, an she gied him a guinea,
For bangin her buttocks again the wa’.

Speaking as a representative of the “epoch of the future” appealed to in the text below, I see no flaws. I’d say “have at it!” but them as wants to already do without waiting for me or any other “legislator of strange pleasures”:

If males find intercourse with males acceptable, henceforth let women too love each other. Come now, epoch of the future, legislator of strange pleasures, devise fresh paths for male lusts, but bestow the same privilege upon women, and let them have intercourse with each other just as men do. Let them strap to themselves cunningly contrived instruments of lechery, those mysterious monstrosities devoid of seed, and let woman lie with woman as does a man. Let wanton Lesbianism — that word seldom heard, which I feel ashamed even to utter — freely parade itself, and let our women’s chambers emulate Philaenis, disgracing themselves with Sapphic amours.

See it here in the original Greek. It’s said to be by an imitator of Lucian, and thought to date from around 300 CE.

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A drunk friend of mine the other day started riffing endlessly on how gay men have everything better than straight men. He had a whole manifesto! I myself was not sober enough to take notes, but these three points I do remember:

1) Gay sex workers and cams performers are hotter: younger-looking, prettier, more fit, better groomed. He sent me a gay camsite screenshot to argue his point:

Without bodyshaming, which I will not do, I can’t give you the compare-and-contrast screenshot of female performers from a het-oriented camsite that he also sent me. It is surely true that there are lots of stunningly beautiful women working cams, but on many sites they are interspersed with performers who have a certain “people of Walmart” presentation about them. (Which is all I’m going to say about that.) My friend riffed ruthlessly on this point in a way that’s far afield from the ErosBlog house style. I might accuse him of being shallow, but it’s hard to say that he is completely wrong.

2) Gay sex toys are more fabulous: shinier, more colorful, more glittery. This assertion verges on circularity, especially when one pauses to consider the problematic premises involved in deciding what “gay sex toy” might possibly mean; but in fairness and truth there was hardly a line in my friend’s whole riff that did not raise one or another such problematic question. It was more fun — and more friendly — to just go with the flow of the conversation. Me being me, though, I did needle him on this point; and in response he pointed (incontrovertably, I thought) to the rainbow cock cage that’s been featured in the pages of this very blog:

3) Blowjobs! My friend waxed lyrical on all the reasons why gay men give (and thus, in the main and for obvious reasons of symmetry, get) better blowjobs. A quick job of research turns up plenty of guys who agree, including no less an authority than the LGBT subreddit:

It might be reasonable to doubt whether gay guys as a class are properly objective on the question. But me being without any comparative data of my own, who am I to argue?

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Image is from a photographic cabinet card found on Flickr.

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