Of all the things I never thought I’d be posting on ErosBlog, lipstick reviews are right up there. But MelbourneHumanFemale’s review of a specific black lipstick includes both a black lipstick mini-manifesto for grownups (amusing) and a pair of pretty pictures. How could I resist?

A quick manifesto on black lipstick: It’s time for it to come back. Wretch it out of the hands of babybats at Flinders Street station. It can be used as a high fashion colour if that’s your thing, or as gothy/punk wonderfulness as long as you do it right. Keep your other makeup either muted or bright and colourful. No matching it with heavily-blackened eyelids. No drawing spiderwebs on your face.

Black is dramatic. Use it wisely. Wear it confidently. Think 1920s and Haute Macabre couture, don’t think 14-year-old using her $2 eyeliner.

During the day I also like to wear it blotted with some gloss, for an almost gunmetal grey colour:

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From TXTS FRM LST NGHT:

she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

In drama, if a script is competently wrought one may trust that the maxim of Chekhov’s rifle will be observed. Just so in porn, where the rule is similar: if a girl with no panties on is licking a lollipop, you may reliably expect to see that lollipop going all up in her business real soon now:

From ALS-Scans. See also: a bunch of ALS Scan pictures on Tumblr.

Camping is always fun. Camping with her? Even more fun. Very important to stay hydrated:

Via Fuck Yeah Karl Elvis.

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Apparently wife spanking is like many another tricky enterprise: it’s best to start off as you mean to continue:

Spanking Blog has, no surprise, more — although the strictness of the caning that this particular blushing bride gets is something of an eye-opener. Apparently she didn’t believe in premarital sex, and made him wait, *gasp*, five whole months for their wedding night. As her new husband explains:

The suffering I’ve been through, the frustration I’ve had waiting for what I’m going to do to you tonight, has been sheer pain. I’m going to even the score a little…

Say it with me: “awdudepoorbaby…”

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Remember this double-handjob scene featuring Gerard Depardieu and Robert De Niro? It turns out Violet Blue has unearthed some show-biz gossip to the effect that Tiger Balm was used in the making of this picture. She writes:

Turns out that back in 1977 (omgwha?) Robert DeNiro was in need of erection help for the film 1900; Gerard Depardieu apparently helped him with a water-and-Tiger-Balm, pre-Viagra solution. Okay, that’s kinky, that’s neat. But… woe to the unhappily napalmed orifices on the wrong end of a 1970s surprise Depar-dip. (nypost.com)

As porn workplaces go, Kink.com’s sets have a good reputation. And of course, everybody knows that smart young people who are trading on their youth and beauty should also be working on their educations and training for longer-term professional careers. But, ladies, isn’t working on your freaking homework between takes while caged taking enthusiasm for education a little far?

Picture courtesy of The Training Of O.

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