This post has absolutely nothing in common with that other one, nope nope nope!

Here’s a woman with an intimate relationship to the tools of her trade:

It’s Nina Hagen, who (according to her Wikipedia entry) “demonstrated (while clothed, but explicitly) various female masturbation positions” on television. Yes, it’s on YouTube.

I’ve seen a lot of stuff on the internet. But now I’ve seen … everything?

Probably not. No. There’s probably no end to the creative genius of crowdsourced perversion. But if there were, this might be it. Behold:

A woman. Dismounted from her bicycle. Squatting. Panties around her ankles. Peeing, with an expression of great joy, on a turtle.

I dunno. I may have finally reached the end of the internets.

Via It’s Good If You Like it, a tumblr suggested in my What Should ErosBlog Be Linking To? comment thread.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Enforcing The Social Contract
• Teambuilding Exercises For Ladies, Circa 1910

In which Harmony has a stern word for Bella Rossi:

But don’t worry. Bella does what she’s told — and does it thoroughly and well — so they are best friends by the end of the shoot.

From Everything Butt.

The Nymph and I went to see Whip It (starring Ellen Page) the day before yesterday, and we pronounced it good.

If there’s anybody out there wondering what her bottom looks like, I must report that it does not appear (unclad) in this movie. However, without giving too much away, I can report that viewers are treated to an extended scene in which her bottom is on athletic display in soaking wet underwear.

Why, yes, yes I do feel like a dirty old man for noticing, thank you for asking!

A few months back, some folks decided to invoke The Guiding Spirits of Our Founding Fathers by holding political protests in symbolic invocation of the Boston Tea Party. They showed up carrying signs, had noisy speakers make noisy speeches, waved some tea bags around, and in some cases, threw said tea bags into nearby bodies of water.

So far, so normal. Public life in America. Could have happened in any decade of the last couple of hundred years.

But… it turned out there was a small cultural misunderstanding. There are some divergent strands in U.S. culture these days, and as the culture fragments, communication “cross-strand” becomes difficult due to linguistic drift.

Thus, some of the people with the tea bags began to call themselves “tea baggers”; and they started calling their protest efforts “tea bagging”.

Hilarity ensued, because of the the fact that “tea bag” (as a verb) already had a well-established sexual connotation in popular slang. A fact of which the “new” tea baggers appeared to be blissfully ignorant.

I was reminded of all of this when I saw a certain t-shirt. Wouldn’t this shirt have been the very perfect thing to wear to one of those protests?

This is a detail from an engraving by John Buckland Wright: