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January 22nd, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Pluck You

Here’s a surreal old French postcard, featuring the very flower of beautiful nude womanhood:

surreal nude woman flower

From Vintage Lust.

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January 21st, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Squirt, Squirt, Refill

The idea of a Batman squirtgun? I can live with that.

The unfortunate position of the trigger? Well, it follows from the design. I guess I can live with that, too.

But the anal refill hole?

squirt gun with anal refill

That’s a bored toy designer seeing just how far he can take the joke before his bosses notice and fire his ass. Somewhere out there he’s saying (probably in Chinese) “I still can’t believe they actually made it, and shipped thirty thousand units!”

 
January 20th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Gawker Media Goes To Vegas

Apparently there was just a big porn convention in Vegas, and Gawker Media was there. You may know Gawker Media for its several stylish blog titles, but it’s Fleshbot you’ll be most familiar with as an ErosBlog reader. Well, now I’ve been introduced to one of their newer titles, which also looks very promising indeed. Here now via Jezebel is Jezebel editor Tracie “Slut Machine” Egan’s Last Night I Boned An AVN Award Nominee, complete with “pictures or STFU” proof in the form of her triumphal hickie photograph:

They had this dude — the one I blew for a little bit in the bathroom — who was very easy to convince to come back to my hotel with me.

Back in the hotel, I decided I could use another drink (I really didn’t need it at all), and the dude I brought back with me said he wanted french fries, so we went to the Grand Lux Cafe (which is like the same thing as Cheesecake Factory) in the casino of the Venetian. We didn’t even touch what we ordered. We just drunkenly made out hardcore in the booth, and then I put my hand under the napkin on his lap and started jerking him off. Nobody blinked an eye. People weren’t even looking at us. When I remembered for a minute that I was in public and came up for air, I looked around and saw that people were too immersed in their own 3 AM dramas played out over extra large servings of fried food. One lady was crying next to a tight-jawed man, who was looking anywhere but at her face. The middle-aged gay couple next to us were arguing over whether to share or get their own meals. And the waiters were just happy that we weren’t bothering them with requests.

The dude put his dick back in his pants, we got the check and went back up to my room. (I’m sharing it with Jonno and Dash from Fleshbot.) We have an awesome suite; there are two beds and a sofa bed. Since I was the last one home, I got the sofa bed in the living room area, but that was fine for my purposes. Me and the dude went into the bathroom (I don’t have a picture of it, but it’s pretty grand) and just went at it. He lifted me onto the marble counter top. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, koala-bear style, and he fucked the shit out of me. He ruled and his dick was nice. I told him that he should maybe consider working in front of the camera instead of behind it.

We stayed in there for a little bit more and he finger banged me. I ended up squirting all over the damn place — which hasn’t happened to me in what seems like ages. It was shooting out sideways and shit, getting on both of our legs. I’m always a little afraid for that to happen in front of dudes, ’cause it’s such a fucking mess sometimes, but he seemed to be really into it.

Then we went to the sofa bed and I had every intention of falling asleep and not fooling around (the boys were just like 10 or 20 feet away), but he kept kissing me, and he was really too cute to turn down. I ended up blowing him again, and then he came on my tits. What the hay! We’re in Vegas!

We passed out, but I think I was only sleeping for like an hour before I felt his boner pressing up on my ass again. I pushed back, and before I knew it, we were spoon-fucking. Seriously, this guy is more of a machine than I am. I woke up in the morning with this:

hickey from las vegas

I was kinda pissed about it. I’m not thirteen, you know. But Jonno put it into perspective for me when he said, “Consider yourself lucky that you fucked someone at the porn convention and all you got was a hickey.”

 
January 18th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Naked Medical Perks

Just another one of the perks of being a doctor, as imagined in 1950s-vintage lad-magazine cartoonery:

doctor weighing and measuring a naked woman

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January 17th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Vintage Japanese Coed Bathhouse

This ancient engraving comes from an early edition of the report on Perry’s first expedition to Japan:

naked coed bath house in old japan

Here’s the large version.

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January 16th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Potato Hand Job

In case you ever wanted to see someone manually stimulate a root vegetable:

jerking off a potato

And then there’s after:

flaccid potato penis

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January 15th, 2008 -- by Bacchus

Will Cuddle For Food

If you ever needed to lure The Nymph into an abandoned alley for some nefarious purpose, this would be the perfect way to go about it:

cuddles the bear

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cupid