A friend of mine, a real-world meatspace friend going waaay back to my mis-spent youth, sent me a brief email note and a link the other day. This friend of mine is, I’d say, amused to find himself acquainted with an internet pornographer, but I do not think he’s convinced I’m making the best use of my talents and education. The email said, in its entirety but for salutations:

Of the various virtuous roles you might occupy in the greater human scheme, defender of the public peace didn’t come to mind first, but perhaps it should.

Yeah, he talks like that. It’s one of his many charms.

The link he sent was this one, to an article in Slate: How The Web Prevents Rape.

I’d seen previous references to the research documented in the article, but nothing so cogently written. A few excerpts:

First, porn. What happens when more people view more of it? The rise of the Internet offers a gigantic natural experiment. Better yet, because Internet usage caught on at different times in different states, it offers 50 natural experiments.

The bottom line on these experiments is, “More Net access, less rape.” A 10 percent increase in Net access yields about a 7.3 percent decrease in reported rapes. States that adopted the Internet quickly saw the biggest declines. And, according to Clemson professor Todd Kendall, the effects remain even after you control for all of the obvious confounding variables, such as alcohol consumption, police presence, poverty and unemployment rates, population density, and so forth.

Well, duh.

OK, so we can at least tentatively conclude that Net access reduces rape. But that’s a far cry from proving that porn access reduces rape. Maybe rape is down because the rapists are all indoors reading Slate or vandalizing Wikipedia. But professor Kendall points out that there is no similar effect of Internet access on homicide. It’s hard to see how Wikipedia can deter rape without deterring other violent crimes at the same time. On the other hand, it’s easy to imagine how porn might serve as a substitute for rape.

I said “Well, duh” because, as I wrote back to my friend:

To me, that’s one of those studies with a result that’s intuitively self-evident. (Not to devalue it; so much that is self-evident is also wrong.) The crux for me is in the sentences “It’s hard to see how Wikipedia can deter rape without deterring other violent crimes at the same time. On the other hand, it’s easy to imagine how porn might serve as a substitute for rape.”

In the canonical feminist view of rape, the brainless chant is that “rape is not about sex, it’s about violence and power.” I’ve always thought that to be arrant nonsense. Rape *is* violent, but that’s a statement about practicality and means, not motivation. It’s always seemed to me that rape must be about sexual frustration. Reduce the frustration, reduce the incidence of rape, quod erat demonstrandum. About as controversial as arguing that feeding people reduces hunger.

(If I had been writing the above for this blog rather than in email shorthand to someone who knows me well, I’d have been more cautious. Specifically, when I wrote “rape must be about sexual frustration” I’d have disclaimered it a bit; “many rapes are”, perhaps, rather than “rape must be”. And I would have been more tactful in my description of the opposing view.)

My own belief is that the internet porn effect is broadly beneficial, whatever its debatable effects on the rape statistics. Peeping Toms in the bushes used to be a staple of the suburban police blotters, but when was the last time you heard of one? Didn’t we used to get more high street raincoat flashers, before the internet came along and offered the sending of unsolicited dick pictures as a safer alternative?

I don’t have numbers to prove any of that, of course. Which is why I find the research quoted in Slate to be so interesting.

Yes, she’s arguably gilding the lily. Heck, she says as much herself, it’s hardly a secret. But sometimes a little gilt paint helps rock the world.

We’re talking, of course, about a pile of advanced blowjob tips from Pretty Dumb Things, with a side order of suggested anal/oral entertainment:

The paper frills on the ends of the lamb chops aren’t necessary, but they’re nice. The umbrella in your adult beverage doesn’t make it taste any better, but it’s festive. The balconette push-up bra doesn’t really give you perkier breasts, but it’s alluring. None of these things–not the paper frills, the wee umbrella, the naughty lingerie–actually makes the decorated item any better, but they seem as if they do. The lamb chop seems more succulent; the frozen piña colada appears more decadent; the breasts look as if they’re ripe for the plucking.

In the spirit of sexy similitude, let me present you with a few things you can do that will put the icing on the cake, the gild on the lily, the pastie on the nipple, if you will, of your blow job.

…

Eyes on the Prize: One thing a dude likes is if you look as if you’re enjoying sucking his dick. One way you can perform your enjoyment is to make eye contact. Especially at the beginning of the blow job, before you’re getting all hot and heavy and the guy’s eyes are lolling back in his head in full-on pleasure mode, get yourself in a position to look at him over the head of his cock as it rubs against your lips, as your tongue twirls around its head, as it slowly enters your mouth. It’s not something you can–or want–to spend your entire blow job doing, but it’s a great beginning, or a fine punctuation in the middle, especially if you want to slow things down while simultaneously heating things up.

Say It With Me, “Pruneâ€?: When Marilyn Monroe wanted to make the perfect kissy mouth for photos, she said, “prune,â€? as legend as it. Your turn to be a siren. Say “pruneâ€? and see what your lips do. Now put a nice tumescent cock in front of your mouth and say it over and over, each time more lasciviously. Let your tongue escape like a naughty little wet monkey and flick at the rim of your man’s cock head. Imagine you’re French, and say it again.

You can also wrap the head of the cock in your lips and make tiny, fluttering sucking motions with your mouth as you slowly pop the cock out of your mouth to say “Pruneâ€? again. “Dried Plumâ€? just doesn’t have the same erotic resonance.

Und so weiter.

OK, so there’s a lot of bad porn out there. But sometimes — accidentally or on purpose — you find pure art. This picture looks like a scene from a morality play I might almost watch. If Norman Rockwell had been just a little bit pervier, he might have painted it, and given it a pretentious title. “The Unwelcome Invitation”, anyone?

Picture is from some Lupus Spanking porn found on Spanking Blog.

Happy Halloween, folks!

I think this cartoon by Hugh MacLeod at Gaping Void is one of those funny-because-true kinda things. It puts me firmly in mind of the awkward approaches to seduction that certain smart-but-foolish young men attempt, having as yet no clue about better approaches, nor yet the skills to put better approaches into action:

On a more serious note, Hugh gets hatemail, like most bloggers sometimes do. The latest one called him “too obscure for general consumption”, to which he responded:

I think worrying about what interests you, what stirs your passion, is a far more effective recipe for success than worrying about “general consumption”.

I have to agree. Blogging is unsustainable if you approach every post worrying about what people will think, or if you spend too much time fussing over your writing or your background research or your whatever. Do you think I’m proud of writing a line like “I think this cartoon…is one of those funny-but-true kinda things”? Hell no, how inarticulate is that? But it was fast, it introduced the cartoon and got me to the next sentence where I explained my reaction to the cartoon, and more to the point, it enabled my blogging passion, which is hooking y’all up with other people’s interesting contributions to the cultural conversation about sex.

Hugh’s right, then. By worrying about what interests me, and be damned to the critics, I’m still here after four good long years. In that time I’ve linked to, and later sadly delinked for reasons of moribundity, dozens of sex blogs that were “better” than mine — better written by my own lights, more carefully crafted, better focused, and above all, slicker; which is to say, produced with an eye toward “general consumption”. Produced, that is, for a few weeks or months, and then dropped, establishing with each demise a prima facie case for lack of passion.

Here’s to passion!

Obviously the product of another age, but I think this cartoon of a nasty monkey terrorizing three young ladies in their nighties is pretty cute:

As long time readers will remember, whenever the subject of female ejaculation comes up, we hear from people wedded to their belief that female ejaculation is a myth and that female ejaculate is “just pee”. As I said last time, “Erosblog is NOT going to be a forum for spreading sexual ignorance and doubt on this topic.”

For any lingering doubters among my readership, however, I submit a couple of posts from Giardino del Piacere: Wet Emails and More Wet Emails. Lots of intimate details from women who have no reason to dissemble:

First, I’d love everyone to know, normal women like Eva and me ejaculate. I can’t speak for Eva, but I’m no porn star. I’m a woman rapidly approaching menopause. I have history, boobs that sag some, squishy thighs and a drooping bottom. Nope, not porn star material at all, but I can sure squirt like one.

Second, I believe and as she indicated in her messages, Eva believes, that any woman can learn to ejaculate. It takes only a willingness to let go when the urge to ‘let go’ hits. If you’ve ever experienced a screaming urge to pee while having great sex or bringing yourself pleasure, you are probably a squirter waiting to be born. You’re never too old or young to learn. Eva has a long history of ejaculating, mine is something I’ve discovered within the past year.

Third, squirting not a bad or dirty thing. It is not urine. No, I’m not a physiologist or a physician. I’m the owner of the coochie that drenches the bed. At my age, I truly know the difference between urinating and the sensations I have when I ejaculate. Often I have to visit the bathroom shortly after sex. Logic tells me if I were urinating and not squirting I would have relieved myself.