Crapping All Over Beauty, Redux
Some time ago I wrote a post called Crapping All Over Beauty in which I discussed the odd phenomenon of guys who run around the internet finding fault with every image of naked beauty. At that time I wrote:
What I’ve learned running a sex blog is that there are a whole host of guys whose only mode of discourse about bodily appearance is to make a negative comment. I think perhaps it originates in adolescent one-upsmanship; one guy says “Sally’s hot, I’d like to do her” and the other guys all say “No, man, she’s a pig, she’s got a huge ass” as a way of belittling the first guy. However it started, the result is a fairly large class of guys whose reflex response whenever they see an erotic picture is to say something mean and ugly about the body depicted.
It’s clearly an act of emotional aggression, some sort of attempt to establish superiority by expressing contempt for that which other people consider beautiful. An extreme form of this (which I’ve seen in various places on the internet) is the “It’s a tranny” game. The way the “game” is played is to post a picture of an unknown but pretty woman, and then wait until other men admit that the woman shown is lustworthy. Then the trap springs, as the original poster (or others) assert “It’s a tranny!” It doesn’t have to be true; the point is merely to score points by belittling another man’s opinions about sexual attractiveness.
I’m posting today to point at a concrete example of this “game” that showed up (or tried to) right here in the Erosblog comments. Remember the odd panties-down-but-we-have-beer-cups photo from yesterday? The girls are reasonably cute, but that notwithstanding, we got this attempted comment:
I dont think theyre women… arent you wondering what theyre holding in those cups?
No, dude. Are you? Interesting. Maybe you’re imagining what you wish were in there?
Anyway, crapping attempt: rejected.
Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=1817
I get that from a select few while writing a blog too. It really is a shame that people have a strange need to spread thier inner ugliness. I’ll never really understand it.
hugs
Des
One way to tell they’re women, though, is that they have feminine hip structure, and for men to try to accuse women of being men shows their lack of attention to what a woman looks like. Obviously, they don’t get to see many real-life naked women to understand our anatomy. Poor chaps.
Lilith, I think you may be missing the point. ;-) These aren’t serious claims, they are attempts to “score points” on other men by attacking icons of beauty / lust / whatever that those other men may admire.
In other words, if I post a picture of a woman, there’s thought to be at least an implied suggestion that I find her attractive. And so some guy who posts “That’s a guy” probably doesn’t actually think so; he’s just trying to score points on me — attack my masculinity or whatever — by suggesting that I can’t tell the difference between a man and a woman, or by suggesting that I’m attracted to men.
Or, at least, that’s the theory I’ve come up with to explain this bizarre internet behavior.
I’m also fairly sure there’s room for a competing feminist theory, something about how unreasonable public attacks on female beauty are part of the grand patriarchal campaign to undermine female self esteem and body image and thus facilitate the continued subjugation of women.
I don’t give as much credence to that view, however, given that the most outrageous examples of these public attacks seem to take place in the context of mostly male-to-male discussions.
Can’t it be both 2) and 3)? Your point is that when you’re discussing whether a woman’s beautiful, it’s a male-male contest. Well, isn’t the idea that it’s a contest over who is more manly–in the sense that the manlier guy (presumably?) gets the more “beautiful” female “prize”? While you say that’s what’s _really_ going on is that two guys are duking it out over who is more macho, in the process, as you point out, the woman in question is getting raked over the coals as potential mate material for the “winner.” It’s a patriarchal culture in that the implication is that the guys are running the show, that the guy talking is cool enough to decide whether or not to be with the woman whose body is getting verbally and visually inspected, and that her physical appeal is the most important thing about her. (Whereas personality, which she might have and which he has just displayed that he lacks, counts for nothing.)
To be fair, I think women do the same thing about images of male beauty . . . just not as vocally, publicly, or frequently.
Liz, I take your point, but I’m exploring motives, and it sounds like you’re more focused on effects. The question here is, who is getting attacked, and why? The “attacking” guy is shooting at somebody. I think he’s shooting at other men (because I see this behavior in its worst form in places where few women are present). That doesn’t mean the behavior doesn’t hurt women (just ask any woman who has ever participated in the half-naked Thursday blog meme) but if the motive was to hurt women with this behavior, why do I see the worst of it where few women will see it?
I so get what you are saying Bacchus. Every woman — every photo — is sensual, beautiful, and an artistic portrait of a woman. These men have to belittle to make themselves feel better about their own inadequacies. In the process, they don’t care who they hurt or dissolution.
Their own imperfections are brought out through their comments and they are lonely, lonely people — in the end.
Thank you for this website and your views on beauty. Thank you for allowing people to feely speak their minds and enjoy the wonder and nature of the human body.
I agree with your analysis of why men attack women’s looks (or more to your point, other men’s opinions); gee, my first thought was too bad they’re not all over me peeing…sigh…to each their own…
This is an interesting argument and one that set me thinking. I could understand how making such a tranny comment could be seen as degrading or belittling and I am sure in the majority of cases this is probably true. But may be in this case given the positions of the cups the comment was meant to be a joke? Leaving the following extensive analysis and attack of the said probable joke saying more about you and your own prejudices.
Mongo, of course it was meant to be a joke. Lots of jokes have agendas, though. We don’t excuse racial slurs just because they are framed as jokes, do we? If a joke is made for a vile or negative reason, what harm pointing out that negative agenda?
I’m not quite sure how to react to the astonishing news that my blog posts about sexual politics are revealing of my sexual attitudes and prejudices. Gee, you think?
why is it then any form of non-complimenting joke towards an image seems to spark a full on group discussion where everyone seems to like to try and play amateur psychologist?
I am currently at college studying outdoor sport and education and I can tell you I’ve seen a few teenage girls with plastic beer cups covering various “lady bits”. however the joke was made in reference to the indisputable fact that usually a mans preferred device for use of genital discretion would be the good old’ plastic cup because we need something to hold our equipment in relative comfort, actually card ones are better because they tend not to be as cold. my point would be this… if the fact that I find a group of pissed girls of my age on a balcony to be funny and not a “sensual, beautiful, and an artistic portrait of a woman” offends you all soooo much then I apologise for posting some light hearted harmless humour on the wrong blog.
The closest psycho analysis I have seen so far comes from Bacchus who would be correct with the idea of scoring points with my comment not so much used as a form of personal attack but more as a form of open invitation to a retort of the likes of perhaps: “whatever’s in those cups I bet its bigger than what’s in yours ;)” (with the added irony of the fact there is nothing in those cups… at least I hope not) more giggles = more points. I quite like the idea I’m supposedly shooting at somebody in particular and that a comment made in jest about a subject you all seem to take so seriously becomes a one man campaign of hatred for all, seems I’m the new Hitler.
I fear now that with the latter and the former I may have sparked another scathing discussion about the way I tick. Perhaps some form of discussion about penis size and compensating? We shall see
“I’m not quite sure how to react to the astonishing news that my blog posts about sexual politics are revealing of my sexual attitudes and prejudices. Gee, you think?”
why would it be here that as soon as one small salmon swims upstream and makes a comment in my defence (thank you for your understanding mongo) going against the flow of everyone else and they seem to be drowned out by the waters of sarcasm (the highest form of intelligence of course) oops was I sarcastic there too?. Notice how boring it gets after a while. Its becoming more and more apparent that you all aren’t so much offended by my remark but more so insulted at the idea that someone is viewing a situation not quite the way you would like
“No, dude. Are you? Interesting. Maybe you’re imagining what you wish were in there?
Anyway, crapping attempt: rejected. ”
Now this I find absolutely hilarious. First off not only because I don’t see beauty and art in drunken nude bodies and would sooner have a giggle at the picture than obsess over the physical appearance of those in it is my comment regarded as a “crapping attemptâ€? not only that but on a blog site meant all about acceptance of peoples thoughts feelings about sexuality and sexual diversity (none of which I am seeing in this vile display of emotional cannibalism) you post a reply of my general comment directly toward me and my sexuality as if it’s a form of insult, I mean why don’t you just go ahead and call me gay? Like its some form of derogatory comment that someone somewhere might wish there is some cock in those cups.
Could it possibly be that because I find humour in the image I feel a need to share it? I see this picture not only for what’s there but I can almost hear the music playing and see the toilet paper strung over the house it seems like a good party and most of all FUN!
if I began commenting to these ladies in person and said that I think they all are a “sensual, beautiful, and an artistic portrait of a woman” then do you really think id get invited to these parties in the first place? No. and perhaps that’s why I laugh at something that I’ve seen before and you all sit here discussing in great detail the bodies of those involved.
I feel no anger or resentment to any of you as you do me, in fact all I do have is pity. Pity for the fact that all it appears you can do is view this image in its stillness and not appreciate the vibe of the situation and circumstances in which it was taken, because there in lies the true beauty.
Beauty in that the snapshot is just a moment taken from time, a moment that displays a group of people having a great laugh and not caring about what people think. Life is all about living for each of these moments as they come along and savouring each second because soon the moment and the laughter fades away and eventually what could of been described as a perfect example of life in motion is held still and broken down by a small group of close minded people who can only see the image through a small glass window on a little box for its pure physical aspects and appearance of those involved. There is far more to the beauty of nudity than the body itself, the reasoning behind the body getting that way in the first place tends to be the best thing about it.
So I end with apologising for any unintentional offence caused. I also hope that maybe one day you can appreciate this image for what it really is, nothing more than a few half naked raving college teenagers having a party. That is all the mentioned image is and ever will be and if you actually stop to think for a second, isn’t that the most beautiful thing there is?
In short, Jesus Christ lighten the f**k up
Paul: you seem to be a bit…um…defensive? Did it occur to you that you’re not the only one we’re discussing here, but rather the phenomenon in general? If we were discussing you in particular, your name would have been mentioned. But we weren’t, and so your very long post with very long run-on sentences was a bit of a waste.
Eurgh lord gimme strength. If its not me that is being particularly discussed then why would there be a post with my quote on it entitled “crapping all over beauty” when it appears that the only people crapping on beauty seem to be your guys with your critical analysis of everything, and yet you still totally miss the point
Hi guys, just discovered this blog and love it, but I think there is a phenomena occurring here that is endemic to all internet based discussion forums, and that is that it is terribly easy to be misconstrued, misinterpreted or misunderstood in a forum like this. When we post a comment we feel is light hearted and humorous, we often forget that others who read it can’t see our facial expressions or body language, and can often misunderstand the intention behind a comment or message, and be offended by it, when that may have not been the original intention of the person commenting. In a blog like this, which (to me, at least) seems to be about freedom of sexual expression regardless of gender or sexuality, I think it is important to remember that not everyone has the same views, beliefs, or indeed experiences as you, and it would be best to give people the benefit of the doubt before attacking their comment out of hand. It is very easy to become offended by the written word (and this goes both ways, as we have seen by reaction to the person who posted the comment in the first place that was deemed offensive, and their own reaction to this), and when a back-and-forth interchange starts, as what seems to be happening here, it can quickly get out of hand. I’m just saying, getting too argumentative is dangerous, but mature, considerate discussion is a great thing. All in all, keep up the good work.