Though ErosBlog has a firm policy against picking on anybody’s kink, we reserve the right to marvel at some of them. And one of the kinks I marvel at sometimes is the insertion of really big stuff where you wouldn’t think it should oughta fit. Case in point: The Sumo Rustler five-and-a-half-pound vinyl dildo:

Note the two-liter soda bottle included for scale.

Me, I think the thing would make a most excellent paperweight. If I worked in a cubie farm, I’d keep it on top of the papers in my inbox. You want to leave me more work in my in basket? First, grasp the cock firmly between thumb and four fingers….

Here’s another lesson from Naked Loft Party on the intricacies of complex seduction situations:

Les excused herself to go find the restroom. In the meantime I practiced leaning back in my barstool and appearing nonchalant. The raven-haired beauty turned around and smiled at me across the expanse of Leslie’s vacant seat. I immediately recognized her as the very same woman who’d smiled at me shortly after we’d arrived at the bar. I returned the favor, nodding slightly as if to say: “Your move, babe.”

She inched closer, leaning over the stool between us. “So is she your girlfriend or what?”

For the monogamous man the answer is straightforward: you decline the beautiful stranger’s invitation and then titter nervously, quietly cursing yourself over never having been approached by beautiful women when you were single. But for those of us who tempt fate the answer to this simple question is fraught with complications. If you answer “yes” without qualification she’ll likely assume the door is closed. If, on the other hand, you immediately launch into a discussion concerning the particulars of your dating life you risk coming across as a threesome-obsessed sleazebag. Which is not to say that I’m not a threesome-obsesses sleazebag, but there’s a time and place for everything.

And so, feeling a little bit like a time-traveler trying to explain my strange customs to the ancients, I took the latter route. “Well yes,” I said, “but we also see other people.”

Here’s a man who got a chance to moon an entire continent, and so he took it:

KATHMANDU (Reuters) – The head of the Nepal Mountaineering Association urged the government Saturday to take action against a sherpa who reportedly stripped on top of Mount Everest.
The Himalayan Times had reported Friday that the Nepali climbing guide, whose name it gave as Lakpa Tharke, stood naked for three minutes in freezing conditions on the 29,035-foot summit of the world’s highest peak.

If confirmed, he would be the first person known to have stripped atop Everest, considered by Nepali Buddhists as a god.

Ang Tshering Sherpa, head of Nepal’s top mountaineering body, said he could not confirm that the incident had happened.

“But if he did it, it is very shocking because Sagarmatha is the goddess mother,” he said, using the mountain’s Nepali name.

Awesome.

Thanks to Sexoteric for the link.

We all know that frying bacon in the nude is an adventure, but these ladies seem to be scrambling eggs, which is safer. Is somebody getting breakfast in bed?

Vintage photo is from alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage.

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• What Is It With Nude Women And Livestock?
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• The Blowjob Is Under Control
• Playing Pinball In The Nude
• Vintage Postcard Erotica

One thing I like about sex blogs is the window it offers into the sexual lives of real people. In particular, we sometimes hear anecdotes of the sexaul bargains and accomodations that people make. Sexual negotiation, chore negotiation, and marital conflict resolution never works like this in the movies, but in the real world anything is possible:

Yesterday I had a party to go to and I needed to bring some things. I worked the night before and realized I still needed to go to the store right when I woke up, but was still WAY too tired to get up and go. I asked Vincent to go for me, but he said no. So, being the smart woman I am, I made him a deal – I’d give him 5 on-demand blow jobs if he went to the store for me. Being a typical man, he accepted the deal (even made me shake on it, his own wife!)

So, naturally, before I left for the party, I only had 4 left to give.

Vanity Fair has published (popup warning) a sort of literary history of the blowjob, overwritten by Christopher Hitchens in his erudite but often-annoying cult-crit style:

“The magic and might of her own soft mouth ? ” Erotic poets have hymned it down the ages, though often substituting the word “his.” The menu of brothel offerings in ancient Pompeii, preserved through centuries of volcanic burial, features it in the frescoes. It was considered, as poor Humbert well knew, to be worth paying for. The temple carvings of India and the Kamasutra make rather a lavish point of it, and Sigmund Freud wondered if a passage in Leonardo da Vinci’s notebooks might not betray an early attachment to that “which in respectable society is considered a loathsome perversion.” Da Vinci may have chosen to write in “code” and Nabokov may have chosen to dissolve into French, as he usually did when touching on the risque — but the well-known word “fellatio” comes from the Latin verb “to suck.”

Disappointingly, I really only learned one new thing, and that was only a hint, archly delivered in a word-to-the-wise-is-sufficient sort of way:

…gay men like to keep their tonsils for a reason that I would not dream of mentioning…

Oh really?

If you’ve had any experience at all with the adventure that is following blind links on the internet, then this will be exactly what you expect:

Pussy Bondage

And here’s the ErosBlog equivalent of Boing Boing’s unicorn chaser:

Bondage Blowjob