Not really hott or fun, but I promised somebody I’d put it someplace public…..I’m just back from a nice, extralong holiday with my sister and her family. We had all the usual holiday fun, the kids are as cute as ever, but the best part was talking with my sister about R and related things. She kind of knew him, but since she’s older than me, she wasn’t around for alot of my crush on him. I didn’t spill the whole story, just enough for her to know that there were sexual and other “intimacy problems” between us. Something Tony Comstock said in a comment here made me think about my situation…..maybe I’ve been too fussy about sex partners lately. I don’t need a fancy ceremony or even a diamond ring to go horizontal, but caring about my partner or partners has always made the sex better. I thought I cared about R, but really I didn’t know him, I was stuck on my highschool dream and didn’t take the time to get to know who he is now. My sister says that I probably wasn’t fussy enough with R and now I’m being too fussy…..sort of an overcompensation.

Anyway, our talks really helped me put all that behind me. I don’t really want somebody to marry and settle down with, but I do want real affection and caring that goes through all our relationship, not just inside or outside of the bedroom. I think I kind of envy people who can get their kicks and then say, “See ya!” – it seems like they probably get more action and more fun from it too. But that’s never worked for me, and I don’t think it ever will.

My sister is all into karma and “giving voices to dreams and goals,” and she made me promise to make a New Year’s resolution, and give it a voice. She says that will help it get energy, to become real. (She’s alot more hippie-girl than I am. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) So here I am.

My New Year’s Resolution is to find a caring guy that will be fun in bed, too. I don’t care so much about whether he’s willing to do certain things or not, although somebody adventurous would be a bonus. No checklist, no rules, no desperation. No Mr. Perfect. Just somebody sweet, and nice, and comfortable with sexuality and sensuality.

Men like that are out there, aren’t they?

If you’ve ever seen the print version of Hustler’s Taboo magazine (edited by the modestly legendary bondage king Earnest Greene, spouse of hugely legendary porn star Nina Hartley), you’ll know that it’s a cut above the usual newstand fetish fare. Sure, it’s got your basic bleached blondes in crotchless red latex catsuits piddling into clear glass salad bowls, and sure, it combines handcuffs, riding crops, and blowjobs in ways that are hardly novel (although perhaps a bit prettier and a bit edgier than is common these days). But it’s also got some of the slickest fetish photography around, from famous photographers like Suze Randall, and some of its kinkiness borders on genuine high-concept:

Any fool can order a pony girl outfit and deliver photographs of some cute filly high-stepping across the carpets of an LA hotel suite, but where else will you see a porno-blonde in latex boots and corset hauling a manure wagon around some dirty farm in the dark? It’s gotta be art, I tell you!

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Do you hate blog comment spammers? Bondage Blog has a sure-fire prescription: give ’em a touch of the old strappado. Hey, it’s more elegant than the bubbling-hot tar and feathers they truly deserve, and less messy, too.

Author John Ross, who wrote a quite readable novel about guns and politics called Unintended Consequences, when asked about his proudest moment as an author, reported that it was:

…when I listened to my voicemail messages one day and heard the following message:

[Agitated woman] “John Ross? Is this thing recording? I just thought you’d like to know that you and your goddamn book have ruined my honeymoon. Probably my marriage, too. I can’t believe my-” [muffled sound, a second voice, faint, as if a hand is over the receiver, then the hand being pried off] “Give me that… you bastard, you haven’t even-” [more muffled noises, then a man’s voice on the phone:

[Man] “Mr. Ross?”

[The woman, from several feet away] “It’s his answering machine.”

[Man] “Oh.” [relieved] “Uh…Mr. Ross, this is, uh, well, never mind my name, but-”

[Woman in background, yelling] “His name’s _! [name deleted for privacy]

[Man] “Yeah, uh it’s_, that’s right. Uh, Mr. Ross, I’m kind of on my honeymoon, and-”

[Woman, screaming now] “KIND OF on your honeymoon?” [muffled sound of hand covering receiver, alternating screaming and soothing tones, but I can’t make out the words]

[Man] “Listen, I started reading your book on the plane ’cause it was a four hour flight, you know, and now I just can’t put it down. And it’s pretty long, you know, so I’m still not finished, and my wife, well, I haven’t been paying enough attention to her, and-”

[Woman, screaming loud enough for me to hear even though the man quickly covers the mouthpiece again] “IT’S THE SECOND DAY OF OUR HONEYMOON AND YOU HAVEN’T EVEN FUCKED ME YET!”

[Man] Um, I guess you heard that, Mr. Ross. Look, everything’s going to be okay, I’m almost finished with it and I can’t tell you how much I’m enj- GIVE ME THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!” [Sound of scuffle and phone being hung up].

I got a follow-up call a day later, where the husband assured me that everything was all right and his wife wasn’t going to file for an annulment.

Friends, I grew up in the frozen north country, and I’ve seen some queer sites under the northern lights. But I never in all my days saw a naked snow angel before:

I’ve recently added a new link category tentatively entitled “Sex Blogazines.” I don’t like that neologism, but I can’t think of a better one, just yet. Can you help?

The sites I’m trying to encompass with this title are sites (often but not necessarily in blog format) which aggregate and collect blog postings from other blogs. My canonical example is Viviane’s Sex Carnival, which I hadn’t listed previously due to lack of an appropriate category. I don’t consider these things to be blogs, exactly, because they lack any sort of original writing or commentary. When they add value, they do so by the pure exercise of an editorial function, the way an anthologist (or a person who puts together a mix CD) creates entertainment though the exercise of editorial discretion. The result is a sort of blogging magazine, hence my tentative name.

At their worst, these sites are pure RSS aggregators dumped to HTML — they don’t add much value but they can be handy for folks who don’t use RSS aggregators. A few of these do a good job of selecting and presenting feeds, and I’ll be linking to some of the best over the next few days. (If you’d like to suggest candidates, please email your suggestions; please do not post them in the comments.)

If anyone can think of a more descriptive or more euphoneous two-or-three word name for these blog posting collections, please share your suggestions in the comments. Thanks!

Another vintage oral sex photo from Usenet:

I’d say she has a firm grasp on the task at hand….

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