As deeply as I plumb the perilous depths of the erotic internet whilst making my daily rounds, I do sometimes find things that make me raise my eyebrows like a pointy-haired boss. The latest contestant is an image of a young lady with her panties full of stinging nettles:

Ow. Also ouchies. Now, that’s just mean.

Found here at Spanking Blog.

If you’ve followed the stories in recent months about the legal and political threats to your freedom of sexual expression, you may have been wondering what happened to the First Amendment. Here’s a small clue. In President Bush’s own words:

“Stop throwing the Constitution in my face. It’s just a goddamned piece of paper!”

Full story here.

I mention this because I want everyone to understand the danger. When the chief official sworn to support and defend our constitution forswears that duty in front of numerous similarly-sworn witnesses, it’s over. Please don’t base your strategies for survival in these trying times on the constitutional protections you learned about in grade school. They are, quite literally, history.

We now return your to your regularly-scheduled smut.

What’s better than porn for your video iPod? Why, bondage porn, of course:

I’m delighted to announce that the last couple of recent updates in the member’s area at Hogtied.com make the video clips for members available in 768 Kbps .mp4 format (iPod compatible) as well as the site’s usual .wmv and .rm formats. The movies look sharp on my iPod, too!

The Hogtied folks say they plan to continue to support the iPod format going forward, and they hope to add .mp4 video to their older archives sometime in the future.

Still photography of a well-tied woman is all very well and good, but sometimes you just need to see her wiggle and squirm in the ropes. On the subway, or in the park, or wherever you happen to be. If that’s you, Hogtied.com has got your back!

Update from the future: Hi, this is the future. We have smartphones now. Video iPods? What the hell was that? The good news is, Kink.com now has everything in .mp4 format, in five different sizes. If you’ve got a screen the size of your thumbnail or the size of your living room wall, they’ve got a device-independent format that will work. Ain’t progress wonderful?

Chelsea Girl from Pretty Dumb Things has the tale of her first squirting experience, done in the style of a breathless young girl’s diary, complete with Hello Kitty graphics, colored ink, and stacked exclamation points:

dear diary,

i have something soooooooooo exciting to tell you!!!!

last night, when i & donny were together (& by together i mean doing it, and you know what i mean don’t you) i squirted!!!!

i know!!!!!

i can’t believe it either!!!!

It’s long and funny and well worth your time.

P.S. Anybody who posts “It’s just pee” (or sentiments of that ilk) in the comments will be rounded up in front of the audience and made to endure derisive shouts of “Virgin! Virgin!” We’re so not having that high school argument here. If you’ve been there, you know better. If you haven’t, please shut the hell up kay thanks.

This month’s I Did It for Science is about, you guessed it, the joys of anal sex.

I returned to the mirror, took another look and slowly touched my anus. “Imagine how mom and dad might feel if they knew what you were doing,” the book proposed.

An image of my mother crying popped into my head. My father tried to comfort her, saying, “At least she has a job.” The book encourages anal explorers to write an imaginary letter to their parents explaining what they are doing and why. I skipped the letter. If I had to write an imaginary letter for every action I performed that my parents would deem disturbing, I’d never get anything done.

Doesn’t that sound familiar! The rest of the tale is fairly funny…..but not nearly as hot as the Evil Science Chick’s story.

Somehow Red makes a cattle prod sound like fun. Either it is, or she’s a heck of a good sex writer:

Her hand rubbed over my left bum cheek, over and over again. I felt pussy throbbed as excitement ran through me — anticipation of the jolt to come was giving me an unexpected rush. The I felt the prongs poking my bum — poking, readjusting, poking again. My breath was caught in my throat; it was the point of no return. I breathed deeply. I let the pain wash over me.

I could feel the surge — the peak of the electricity coursing through the muscle. Everything felt funny, like nothing was going to work properly — similar to that numb feeling that happens when limbs fall asleep. My nerves shrieked as the wave of pain washed over me — fast and furious and addictively alluring. I could feel it draining out of me as soon as it began — my jolted nerves sighing with relief. I felt jumpstarted and I felt consumed.

Smiling and giggling uncontrollably, I grabbed at the spot, rubbing it to preserve the tingling. I felt high — my head was floaty and relaxed and alert. Crazed like an addict, I knew I needed more.

Volunteers, anyone?

Like the man said, I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like:

This would be fine art even if it weren’t in the fancy frame!

From alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage.