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October 29th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

You Gotta Lick A Lot Of Camel Toads….

“Please let me know what camel toads are and how I might be able to tell if he is smoking, taking, or licking them.”

Your first clue, lady, would be the happy satisfied smile on his face….

camel-toads

 
October 28th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

Lame Reasons For Wearing Clothes In Bed

It’s been a long time since I teased Halley, but I have to tease her now about her Ten Reasons Women Aren’t Sleeping In The Nude. I know she’s trying to explain rather than excuse, but still. I once had a girlfriend who (as things began to sour) started coming to bed wearing a huge full-body “sleeper” (like the ones little kids get zipped into, only without the feet) made out of thick flannel. Then, once she’d settled on the new man, but before she’d bothered to tell me about him, she bought a special blanket made out of rough waffle weave fabric (like thermal underwear only scratchier) and she’d wrap herself up in a cocoon in the scratchy blanket.

It didn’t help when I started to tease her about “setting the anti-submarine nets” while she was wrapping herself in the blanket.

Halley’s reasons for not being nude in bed, summarized and assesed by me:

1) Body self-consciousness. Assessment: Lame. We’ve invited you into our bed, we like your body well enough.

2) Wearing fancy undies. Assessment: Acceptable. We’ll be happy to help you take them off, though.

3) Risk of kids jumping into bed. Assessment: Acceptable. But not strictly necessary. Lots of kids have no problem with the idea that Mommy and Daddy don’t wear clothes in their bedrooom.

4) Don’t want to be nude in case of disaster. Assessment: Lame. Odds are too low.

5) Too many random folks in sleeping environment. Assessment: Acceptable. But fix it already! Or move. Or go naked anyway; it’s possible they will move if it bothers them.

6) Clothes required to be cozy in bed. Assessment: Ultra-lame. Get better bedding.

7) Too much touching when sleeping naked. Assessment: Now the truth comes out. That’s not a bug, it’s a feature. That’s why you should sleep naked. And that’s why your man may object if you won’t. Why are you sleeping with someone you don’t want touching you, anyway?

8) “It’s hard to keep your own hands off yourself sometimes.” LOL — welcome to our world. See above for assessment.

9) Arms get cold. Assessment: Lame. Again, get better bedding. Or snuggle.

10) Feels too libertine for our Puritan heritage. Assessment: Hah, you know that’s lame. Dare!

See, wearing clothes in bed is almost as crazy as wearing clothes to go swimming. No, wait, everybody does that… I’m so confused now.

 
October 26th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

Stallion, Rampant, With Female Admirer

Draw your own conclusions about this one! Clearly this photo was intended to be funny, so I don’t mind sharing it despite the fact that it’s rather rude:

girl kneeling before a bronze statue of a horse in order to appear as if she is sucking horse cock

Found on Usenet.

 
October 26th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

Dirty Talking Rough Sex Poem

Hey, it’s a short poem. You want an excerpt? I don’t think so. That would be like taking one bite from one of those chocolate-glazed donuts filled with Bavarian cream. After you’d had that one bite, you could sorta see the creamy center, but if you stopped there, you still wouldn’t have the taste of the thing. You really need to eat the whole thing (and recruit someone to lick that last dab of cream off the tip of your nose) to know what you’re eating.

 
October 25th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

Vintage Nude Postcard

This is a pretty picture postcard from the “French Postcard” era, in the category postcard collectors call “Arab Nudes”:

nude arab woman on a French postcard

There’s a whole page of them here; thanks to Good Shit for the link.

 
October 22nd, 2005 -- by Bacchus

Evil Porn Werewolf Enslavers Debunked

One of the common mostly-false slams against porn in this era of globalisation is that the performers are mostly coerced sex slaves, or at least impoverished scared young girls with few options. (I’m not making this up as a straw man argument; see, e.g., the Biting Beaver (her term): “You CANNOT know if the girl you are masturbating to is, in reality, a sexual slave from Austria who has a gun pointed at her head just off camera.“)

Yeah. And you cannot know that the bottle of salad dressing you pour on your salad isn’t full of stale unpasteurized jizz from bored wanking food factory workers, either. But that doesn’t make it likely, or stop you from eating creamy salads. Why not? Because of branding. If you worry about funky jizz in your dressing, you buy a reputable brand from a company you trust, one that’s got white-coated vat inspectors and security cams all over the factory floor. And, if you really worry, you do research. You get a tour of the factory, or (more likely) read the article in Consumer Reports by the reporter who worked there for three days undercover. The point is, you check into it a little bit.

This is perfectly possible with porn. By way of local example, these issues came up in a peripheral way in this post about real sex in BDSM porn, where a couple of readers suggested in the comments that making such porn was degrading and unsafe for the models, only to be confronted by other readers who were able to vouch for the porn company in question based on personal acquaintance with the models and producers.

And that’s how you check out your porn brand. Research. You look for accounts (which are all over the web, since many models have blogs) of what it’s like to work for a particular porn company, how they treat their people, how the sets are run, whatever you’re worried about. Of course you can’t disprove sensationalist claims about porn factories full of enslaved Eastern European beauties this way — folks who want to cling to that fantasy will continue to do so, brandishing their “news” stories from The Weekly World News, National Enquirer, and Reader’s Digest — but you can satisfy yourself, along with any other reasonable people who might be curious, that the porn you buy is sex slave free.

To pick another flamboyantly outrageous example, how about the notoriously severe spanking and caning DVDs produced by Lupus Pictures? They are often cited as an example of a company that must abuse and exploit its models, because what right-thinking innocent girl would voluntarily consent to an ass-whipping that leaves her in tears with flaming red welts on her bottom? (Short answer: There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreampt of in your philosophy.)

Here are couple of a relatively mild screen capture samples so we know what we are talking about, courtesy of Lupus Spanking [2014 update: now defunct]:

grimacing girl getting paddled

crying girl getting a belt spanking

And now some samples from an article by and an interview with Niki Flynn, who went to Prague to make a movie with these “evil werewolves from the East”. From the article (link broke awhile ago, see this .txt mirror):

I never thought of myself as a girl who could survive a Lupus-style caning. I cringe and wince when I watch the films and say, “There’s no way I could take that!” I’d heard the internet rumours, of course — about the innocent, impoverished Czech girls who are seduced by the money into being abused by the evil werewolves from the East. But I’d look at the “behind-the-scenes” pictures on the website and see everyone having a good time, laughing and horsing around, even after the canings. So the rumours never seemed to have any substance. Besides, the same girls turn up again and again to do films; they clearly know what to expect.

The thing that impressed me most of all was the consummate professionalism of everyone involved. This was not a group of pornographers making dirty pictures, nor was it a cruel band of misogynists delighting in taking advantage of girls who couldn’t say no. This was a real film crew working on a real film. In addition to the director, producer, script supervisor, makeup artist, properties and wardrobe mistress, caterer, cameramen, boom operator, still photographer, actors and (ahem) stunt girls, there were people on hand to offer us refreshments, comfort or anything else we needed.

Did it hurt? Of course. Did I enjoy it? Absolutely not. Do I regret it? Not for a moment. In fact, I had the time of my life. So did William. I knew exactly what I was getting into and I did it because this is what I like. And when it was over and I lay sobbing over the desk, I felt what mountain climbers must feel when they reach the peak. I was so high on the feeling of accomplishment and so lost in the roleplay that I nearly wished I could have some more! And when I look at the marks now I have a sense of pride and achievement. I savor the marks. No one who isn’t into this can ever truly understand. Boxers and footballers suffer broken noses and concussions. No one criticizes them or calls their sport unhealthy. What we do is so much safer. It’s really a shame so many people misunderstand.

Hmm, she doesn’t sound helpless or exploited, does she?

From her interview:

David: There are many rumors about the girls who perform in Lupus productions. Some believe that they attract poor, starving, drug-addicted Eastern European Girls. Now I know that this isn’t true. Prague is often referred to as ‘The Paris of the east”. The Czech Republic is not a third world country. What myths about Lupus would you most like to dispel?

Niki: (Sigh) Yes, the famous urban legends. I think that those rumors are insulting to the girls actually. It’s true, some people think of the Czech Republic as a third world country and that the girls are all uneducated and bullied into it. Or, they have no choice because they are so desperate for money they will do anything. The truth is that the Czech Republic isn’t a third world country; it’s a middle income country that has just joined the European Union. Most of the Lupus crew are friends on the Czech BDSM scene. Some of the girls do it because they are genuinely kinky — they come back again and again. Some may do it for money, but it’s not a crust of bread. They are paid a professional rate. On the set, they are treated as professional actors. The production team at Lupus couldn’t have been more professional or more concerned for my safety — for all of the performers’ safety.

And that’s how you know that the girl in your favorite video doesn’t have an off-camera gun pointed at her head.

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October 20th, 2005 -- by Bacchus

California Dream Girls

Where I live, autumn is well advanced, winter is coming, snow is creeping down the mountains, and it’s increasingly grey and dreary out. So finding this sunny vintage picture postcard of nude sunbathing lovelies high above the California coast brightened my day considerably, as I hope it will brighten yours:

Girls nude in California

Of course, I have no proof that scene’s in California; I’m working from clues in the visible architecture and vegetation, but there are many other sunny possibilities.

 
 
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