Here’s a page that lists 38 Arabic terms for the yoni, with poetic descriptions. I can’t speak to the linguistic accuracy of any of this, but it’s entertaining:

El neuffakh (the swelling one ) – So called because a torpid member coming near it, and rubbing its head against it a few times, at once swells and stands upright. To the woman who has such a one it procures excessive pleasure, for, at the moment of the crisis, it opens and shuts convulsively, like the vulva of a mare.

El moudd (the accomodating ) – This name is applied to the vagina of a woman who has felt for a long time an ardent wish for coition. In rapture with the member it sees, it is glad to second its movements of come and go; it offers the matrix to the member by pressing it forward within reach, which is, after all, the best gift it can offer. Whatever place inside of it the member wants to explore, this vulva will make him welcome to, gracefully according to its wish; there is no corner it will not help the member to reach.

From Chapter Nine of
The Perfumed Garden Of of the Shaykh Nefwazi.
At least we know that when old Nefwazi got to work, he paid close attention to conditions in his workspace….

From I’ll Beg, the best headache remedy ever:

Well, last night I had a massive headache. It came on suddenly and I was in no mood for anything more than sleep. Hubby, however, was in the mood for play. Well, I made the mistake of flashing him my boobs while saying “not tonight dear.” He thought that if I could manage enough play to flash him, I could at least stand for a spanking. One of the play rules we have is that if I say no to sex, then I can get spanked – remember we are really in it for fun. I still complained that I had a headache and, therefore, a legitimate reason for saying no. He seemed to think that the endorphins from the spanking might help the headache. Well, finally, after a very firm command to stand for a spanking; I got in position for a spanking; head and shoulders leaning on the bed, boobs dangling down and ass arched into the air.

”’

He picked up his favorite tool – the dreaded spoon – and started spanking me hard with it. He commented that my ass was raising a nice pink already. He switched to the paint stirrer and started fingering me while whipping me with it. That thing can get really stingy, but I started begging for more. I was rocking into his hand and getting breathy. He told me that he really liked the other night when he spanked me until I came & we were going to do that again. He kept fingering me and stroking my clit. I was starting to moan every time he spanked me rather than saying ouch and I even asked for it harder. Finally, I climbed up on to the bed, tail high in the air and started masturbating myself while my Hubby started using the spoon on me. Maybe he is trying to train me to like the thing? It was one of the longest orgasms I have had in a while – I hit the peak, and came down just a little and peaked again. Then Hubby pushed me back into position and fucked me hard from behind. My ass was definitely hot now and it felt good feeling him push into it. I went to sleep so easily, my head didn’t hurt at all and the pain on my backside felt good. I slept soundly all night, I definitely think I will let Hubby try this ‘cure’ again.

Millions of American husbands owe a debt of gratitude.

After that post last week featuring frat boy buttocks, it only seems fair to give equal time to the callipygean delights that sorority girls (or, at least, the young ladies who masquerade as sorority girls while making soft-core pornography) have to offer. This fetching tableau spotted over at Spanking Blog ought to do nicely:

Cute cute cute!

Similar Sex Blogging:

• A Most Spankable Bottom

There’s a long article about porn in Time Magazine that I haven’t read. And why didn’t I? Because the first paragraph pissed me off:

“In hotel rooms where pornography is available, two-thirds of all movie purchases are for pornos; and the average time they are watched is 12 minutes. The image instantly summoned is of the traveling businessman who wants a smidge of sexual exercise before retiring, but who is too tired, timid or cheap to summon a call girl.”

The image instantly summoned in my mind is one of pity for the hypothetical wife or girlfriend of Time columnist Richard Corliss, who wrote that last squalid sentence.

Horny travelling men who don’t “summon a call girl” must be “too tired, timid or cheap”, eh?

It must surely suck to be married to that man.

Nah, in my dreams. I wonder how many hits I’d get if ErosBlog really were written up in USA Today?

A guy can dream. And speaking of dreams, here’s what actually was on the front page of the D Section of today’s USA Today:

If Bacchus ever were booted into the Greek god relocation program, he’d do well to wind up here. Two dozen boatshave been lashed together in the service of a writhing mass of human flesh bent on shedding inhibitions and clothes as fast as a four-headed beer bong will allow.

Greek god relocation program? Where do I sign up?

Molesting statuary seems to be all the rage these days. Here’s a woman giving the old stinkfinger to some sort of bronze hero:

I was reminded that I had this pic in my “funny stuff” folder when I saw the real (and graphic) stinkfinger picture on Bondage Blog.

Here’s assigned reading for those of you who still think it’s funny to laugh at fat people: A Fat Girl’s Rhapsody. Not much sex in there, but you will find a good “how not to do it” on discussing appearance with your cyberfriends.

Thanks to Analyze Julie for the link.