First, a friendly Erosblog public service announcement for those who might have missed it. Rori, formerly of One Girl’s Life, has changed her blog home to Tuckle Rori. Hope you’re feeling better soon, sweetie! (And could we persuade you to share an explanation of what “tuckle” means? :) )

In catching up with her, I discovered another item that was instantly put on my “I want it!” list: Cock O’lada.

What is Cock O’lada? I’m not sure, really. The web site for the product is in German, which I cannot read. But check out this picture:

I agree with Rori, that swigging on this while cruising down the highway would be lots of fun. Or pulling it out of my backpack while hiking or biking, and taking a good long pull on it while others gape.

The Cock O’lada web site says that it’s “TropicErotic” flavored–fruit punch. Does “ohne” mean it does or doesn’t have alcohol?

If that doesn’t sound good, you can get other flavors; they come in different-colored cocktubes:

Or maybe those contain substances other than drinks…what would flavors called “Dark Glide” and “Hello Pussy” taste like?? Translation of the page into English (the link says their English page is “coming soon!”), anyone?

A friend forwarded notice of the right’s current prurient interest: the size of the VP’s penis. Apparently sometime during the campaign the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel ran a photo of Dick Cheney–whose nickname is “Big Dick”–but then noticed it was a bit too revealing. As word spread, the quest began to find the photo, and it was successful:

Photo snagged from Wonkette.

What I really want to know is, how did Cheney’s parents know what to name him way back then? :laugh:

As I said in a comment to my entry yesterday, I decided to have some fun last night all by myself. I made a cake.

Not just any cake, though…a cake with a special shape…and I chose a different color for the marzipan icing than its usual color for this kind of cake. Instead of a flower decoration atop it, I chose a simpler one…Then I took a picture of my creation.

Next I Photoshopped the picture, in order to present to you: the Boob Cakes:

The cake didn’t have the perfect look I got the first time I made this cake–but that time it was for one of my favorite lovers, as a birthday surprise. This time I wasn’t as inspired. Maybe next time I’m bored I’ll try creating a penis cake. But that would actually be too easy, with one of the recipes I have. If I did it right I could even suck some creamy white goodness out of it! :O

The Monk talks with Dancer:

“No, threatening to have a lawn gnome as part of a scene does not count as a fetish.”

“Really? Even if it is one of those ones with the cool wheel barrows?”

“No, never ever.”

“But what if I just lined a bunch up like they were watching?”

I am stunned to announce that I’ve just done something unprecedented (for me). I just deleted a blog from my blogroll because of the content. Not because it was stale, not because it was lame, not because it was badly written – I prune blogs for that sort of reason all the time. Nope, I deleted it because it flat-out pissed me off…and because I could.

The offending post? A jocular statement of warm anticipatory approval for the “forced anal intrusion” (aka prison rape) awaiting sex offenders once they get to jail.

Sorry, folks, but civilized people don’t use rape as a punishment, much less gloat about it. And I just discovered that I can’t stomach linking to that particular flavor of barbarian.

Visiting adult toy websites can be a most educational experience. The ungently-named Joy Rider Fuck Machine is a celebration of the pervy things that can be done with “ultra refined medium density fiberboard”:

It’s said to be a very versatile machine:

Grab onto the silver handle and fuck yourself to orgasm! The Joy Rider has an articulated seat specially designed to make it easy, fun and safe for people to experience penetrative sexual pleasure. The Joy Rider is smooth, stable so you can concentrate on the pleasure you deserve. The machine relies entirely on your body movement to do all of its thrusting. There are no motors to plug in or breakdown, and no noise. More importantly, because Joy Rider responds only to your movement, you have complete control so it’s like a lover that can read your mind.

The Joy Rider has a seat which rocks in response to your movement. As the seat assembly moves forward or back in relation to the base, the thrust control arms move the pivoting thrust arm assembly upward or downward in relation to the seat. … [It] features thrusting controlled entirely by your movement, so the speed and depth of penetration is easy for you to vary and bring yourself to orgasm as quickly or as slowly as preferred. [It] is perfect for anal stimulation. That part of the body is full of nerve endings and can be a wonderful source of pleasure. Because the Joy Rider is easy to control you won’t have to be worried about being penetrated too hard or too fast.

So, has anybody out there actually tried this thing? Inquiring minds want to know.

One of my previous lovers seemed to be uncomfortable with me caressing his body…as long as I was working on the usual hot spots, he was happy. But if I caressed his sexy-curvy torso, or his muscular biker legs, he got skittish. It was okay for him to appreciate my female form, but not for me to appreciate his male form. I’ve since known a few other guys like that, and it’s sad, sad, sad.

Male bods can be curvy-beautiful too. I present as Exhibit A:

I know I’d like to “touch him, all over his body”…

Courtesy of Eros Gallery. Beautiful male nude art.