Although it can make free-thinkers mutter about mindless puritanism, prudent folk will frequently exclude their pets from important personal business. It’s not about worrying that your cat will see you naked. No, there’s a practical side, as you will see when reading these excerpts from a long list of cat resolutions:

When my human is taking a bubble bath, the two pinkish-brown things sticking up out of the bubbles in her chest region are NOT to be played with!

I will cease my obsession with the box my humans keep their condoms in. This box is not for me. I will not knock it on the ground, I will not sit on it, I will not try to scratch it open. Especially when my humans are using the condoms.

I will not bat at my male human’s family jewels while he is engaged in the act of mating with my female human, no matter how tempting the danglies are. My humans get mad and I might get free flying lessons.

Hi everybody! Brief report here (busy, busy day):

As planned, I spent Saturday at His Place (a nice-sized property), and we did lots of fun things together. Mostly rambled around the place, walking through the woods and fields, with lots of talking and throwing sticks for his dog. At night, it’s so dark there that you can see a gazillion stars (yes, I counted! :P) and usually, all you can hear is the wind swirling through the evergreens (sometimes the barn owls make some really weird calls too).

Yes, I spent the night — but not in the sense that some of you were probably hoping for. His marvelous kissing does apply to parts other than my lips, I discovered … but no sex, yet. Neither of us is in that big a hurry. We don’t feel comfortable with it yet.

So, how can I be so happy when it’s still months since I’ve had sex and I’d make all kinds of deals with devils to get a good fuck? Easy … I don’t want my first night with him to be a fuck. I want it to be making love.

Still on track for that! :D

Alas, I don’t remember where I spotted this cartoon, but it’s a good one:

Hi folks. Sorry for my absence lately, but I’ve got a good reason. Just when I was despairing of finding interesting single guys here, I may have scored! It’s still early in the game, but so far, so good … and he’s a marvelous kisser. (Yes, that’s important to me — it’s been a good measure of other techniques for me since high school.)

Keep your fingers crossed for me! We’re going to hang out tomorrow, and “do stuff” ……. I sure know what I’d like to do! ;)

Although it’s hardly a new conceit, this article from the San Francisco Bay Guardian is fun and funny. After the author discovers that moving in with her boyfriend did not lead to more sex, she set out to try all the “enhance your sex life” tips from the women’s magazines. After a variety of failed experiments (mint ice cream by candle light, rubbing all over him with her gym sweat) she reaches the inevitable conclusion:

I’d figured out that I could read every sex tip in the book, from Allure to Vogue, but nothing would ever take the place of spitting out three monosyllabic, easy-to-pronounce words: “Let’s do it.”

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: subtlety is vastly over-rated.

Poor translation or clever punster at work? A bit from a Korean newspaper article talking about the country’s first condom ads:

Public service announcements encouraging the use of condoms will be aired for the first time in Korea’s history. The Korea Center for Disease Control and Prevention (KCDC) disclosed on Thursday that, with the Munhwa Broadcasting Corporation (MBC), it would air the announcements encouraging the use of condoms as the most efficient way to prevent the spread of AIDS, for one month beginning Oct. 1. The ads, which deal with hard topics like AIDS and the comfortable use of condoms, will be aired twice daily …”

Uh, yes, it helps for comfortable condom use for something to be hard … :hehe:

Found at Free-Market.Net news.

Karl from The Moronosphere talks about explaining sexuality to kids:

“Mom, What’s fifty-six?”

“Ah, I’m not sure what you mean.”

“I think it might be a… a…”

“Mmm-hmm?”

(Whispered) “…a sex thing…”

Long, long pause.

“Honey, do you mean sixty-nine?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s it.”

…

I’m a dirty bastard. I write erotica. I know sexuality. But putting things like this into a context so it’s both understandable and appropriate; that’s difficult.

How do you explain sexuality, sensuality, to a ten year old?

Honestly though, here’s what happens when you don’t.

My favorite line from his extended anecdote: “But then, twenty years old, I had no idea what I might have gotten away with.”

Ain’t that the truth!

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