From an anonymous poster on Craig’s List comes a rant styled as “TOP TEN REASONS WHY YOU CAN’T GET LAID (OR, NO NOOKIE FOR YOU, ASSHOLE!)”. The harridan author is full of vitriol in the following style:

YOU JUST DON’T GET IT. You haven’t a clue. You don’t understand women and don’t even want to try. You’d rather be bitter, misogynistic, lazy, sloppy, smelly, frustrated, selfish, mean, vain, crazy or just plain stupid than make an honest-to-God, real-live attempt to connect with the opposite sex. Enjoy your porn movies because that’s the only naked woman you are ever going to see.

And that’s only one of the top ten reasons. The author claims she has “a great social life with smart, confident, funny, and sexy men.” Picture me smiting my forehead with my palm and saying “What are they thinking?”

This comes from a mostly-bogus news story about the alleged outrage generated by frolicking fruits on a candy wrapper. You can go to Boing Boing if you need the journalistic details all straight, but you can enjoy the image right here:

When all is said and done, though, I have to admit that the Fleshbot candy is better.

If you can read this, you are seeing ErosBlog on its happy new server. Welcome! I’m very pleased with all the new functionality, and especially with the ability to blog remotely and allow multiple authors. Please bear with me as the templates continue to undergo minor tweakage over the next few days.

This next link is, I suppose, worthy on its own merits, especially if you like to see semi-naked young ladies slathering each other in salad oil. Thusly:

A half-bottle of vinegar and we’d have, what, undressed salad?

But seriously, folks, I was more entertained by the domain name. Nudeteem.com: what’s that supposed to be? Nude team? Nude teen, more likely.

It reminds me of Tom Lehrer’s immortal advice: “Don’t write naughty words on walls if you can’t spell.”

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A gratuitous sex picture to brighten your weekend, courtesy of Real Fucking Couples:

Isn’t that some hot sexual hair pulling?

Note: Real Fucking Couples is defunct and no longer exists, but it was an early effort to go vanilla/mainstream by the company that became Kink.com.

From Naked Protesters, here’s a picture of today’s street theater in New York City:

If “goatse.cx” doesn’t mean anything to you, proceed with caution.

A while back I linked to the Wikepedia article on goatse.cx. Now (please put away your sandwich) here’s an interview (including small but graphic photos) with a French guy who is a self-taught expert in that dubious art of extreme anal stretching:

When I first started, I was using small bottles of shampoo. After that, I tried small apples, and then bigger ones. At this point I’d put a year of stretching in, and bought myself a large dildo.

My method was to dilate my ass as often as I could — every day, even if just for a short while. Before starting it’s important to use a large dildo; use it to both warm up and clean your ass, so make sure you stick it up all the way. When you find that you can take this large dildo without any work-up or preparation, then you know that you’re ready to take it to the next step.

Then, in each session, to get your bottom prepared, put in a big cucumber. Soon you’ll arrive at a point where even the biggest cucumbers you can buy at the grocery fit easily in your ass. Now you’re ready to get serious. Buy a small Coke bottle, and use that in your ass. When that passes in and out easily, move on to bottles of wine. Once you can take wine bottles easily, you can move on to even bigger things.

Bigger things? Yup. There’s a whole paragraph on those big Coke bottles. Next stop: plastic playground balls.

A word of caution to the intrepid assventurer: Buy yourself a copy of “Anal Pleasure and Health” first. And whatever you do, please make sure you don’t wind up on the Rectal Foreign Bodies page.

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