Kinkspeak wrote in to alert me to her brand new erotica blog, Exit To Erotica. Here’s a sample from a bit called “Sweet Honey“:

right now i am having fantasies of bathing in warm honey. i imagine first placing my foot into it, feeling the warmth oozing in between each toe and then stepping in and slowly immersing bit by bit the rest of my body until only my face is uncovered. i lean back and let my hair also become saturated with honey.

honey. filled with antibiotics that not only soothe your sore throat but also smooth over your skin. honey, yellow and clear, melted gold.

Mmmm, honey. “Will ma’am be wanting her licking boy later?”

Here’s what happens when hot-blooded young ladies in northern climates are forced to amuse themselves, with nothing but snow to work with:

When I first got an email from D about his new “Cock Under Lock” BlogSpot blog, my first thought was “eh, that’s about 180 degrees backwards for a sex blog, isn’t it?” But as it happens, the device appears to come off fairly frequently. Apparently D’s lady merely got tired of sharing him with his extensive porno collection. Except on her terms:

I was making a joke referencing a porno I owned, and that E found somewhat repulsive, called “Ass Cream Pies“. At one point describing the kind of cum eating some of the girls do in that movie (read the description if you want to know) . E was so abhorred by this, she said, “that’s it! I’m tying you up and making you drink a shotglass of your own cum. So you can know what it’s like”. I was both turned on by this but also knew that I would not want to drink it after I came. But I was mostly turned on, and looking forward to getting some sort of release.

True to her word, when we got home I was promptly tied down again. She then decided as part of my punishment I would have to watch the Porno in question whilst I was imobilized. This went on for about 45 minutes. I was excited but unable to do anything to further my enjoyment. While this was going on E just sat on the computer doing online shopping and emailing. Eventually she proceeded to unlock the chastity device. I was already semi-hard, but once freed, became almost instantly erect. She started teasing me with light strokes, making me increasingly more rigid. I was as swelled up as I’ve ever seen myself. If that wasn’t enough she inserted the “Tristan” butt plug into my ass. She left the room for a moment and returned with a glass….

Here’s a kooky joke from the new-to-me Northern European Sausage Factory:

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some of the males actually joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Charlie stepped out with his arm outstretched. “STOP!”, he shouted in firm voice. Have you got a license for that thing?” Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. “OK” he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted, “STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?” Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said, “Carry on, ma’am.”

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizable erection in his hand. “Oh, Good Grief,” said Ethel, “Not the Breathalyzer again.”

I thought this was a joke when I posted it. But in these trying times, jokes have a way of becoming reality (at least in the tabloids). From the New York Post, based heavily on reportage in London’s Mirror, the following horror:

A she-bomber planned to blow up British Airways Flight 223 over Washington with plastic explosives hidden inside her body, a chilling new report says. U.S. security services told Scotland Yard that the woman – almost certainly linked to al Qaeda – planned to hide 8 to 12 ounces of the material tucked inside her reproductive region, London’s Mirror newspaper reported.

When the flight was over the nation’s capital, the bomber would go to the bathroom, remove the explosives and detonate a blast that would blow the aircraft out of the skies.

A Homeland Security official said he was unaware of a specific threat of a female suicide bomber who would hide explosives in her body.

But he added, “We’ve had concerns about IEDs” – improvised explosives devices.

As a result, airport security screeners check for women wearing loose clothing and other signs the official declined to talk about.

“Smuggling a bomb onto a plane by this method is one of our worst nightmares,” a senior Scotland Yard source told the newspaper. “If you do not have specific information about the suspect, it would be impossible to carry out an intimate body search of every female passenger.”

Indeed.

Ok, people, you all know that the best parts of the Star Wars movies were the parts featuring Princess Leia as Jabba The Hut’s slave girl. In case you had forgotten, check out The Slave Leia Pictures at Leia’s Metal Bikini.

Thanks to Attu for the link.

Time lapse photography of arousal, from “Dick? What Dick?” to “Ready, Ma’am!” in 30 seconds:

If you find the tiny pictures unsatisfying, you know the routine: give the small pic a little stimulation with your mouse and it will grow for you.