From Write Only Media comes one of those widely-circulated email funnies; in this case, a not-so-funny list of things British women supposedly have written in the “Father’s Details” section of child support agency forms. A few items from the list:

02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

07. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby; after all when you eat a can of beans you can’t be sure which one made you fart.

What a lovely metaphor. Not.