When I got to college, one of the two poor sophomores assigned to my freshman dorm to inject some sanity thereinto called us clueless freshmen together and spake thusly:

“In a lot of these freshmen entries, they have all kinds of rules. I don’t like rules. So we are only going to have one. Don’t be a dick.”

And we mostly weren’t, and we had a great time. The moral and political lesson I took from that, namely that small communities don’t really need more than one rule, is possibly the most valuable thing I learned in college. Thanks, Josh!

By popular demand, I’ve decided to install a commenting facility here at ErosBlog. However, I’d like to ask you all to remember Josh’s rule. I work at keeping the tone here relentlessly sex-positive and unwaveringly non-judgmental. I may slip up, but that’s the goal. I welcome your comments, but I’m simply not interested in creating a forum for haters, condemnators, repressive creeps, and the like. Lively debate, at times, is to be expected. But nastiness and anti-sex messages (and personal attacks of any sort, on anyone) will probably be deleted summarily. Be nice and play nice, please?

Thank you.

The alternatively-religioned among you (and heck, anybody else with a sense of humor) will enjoy Lilith’s “You know you’re a horny Pagan if…” list, complete with a lovely photo illustration starring the author:

You Know You’re A Horny Pagan If…

… your magick wand vibrates
… your candles are spherical and come in sets of 2
… your magickal oils are flavored
… you think all magick is sex magic
… your altar has silk sheets
… your chalice is fur-lined (think about it)
… your altar candles are anatomically correct
… your binding rituals involve handcuffs
… your magic wands have French ticklers on the ends
… your High Priest/ess wears a leather mask
… the wax from your candles ends up on your nipples
… you consider KY Jelly an altar tool
… your chants contain phrases like “Oh my God/dess!”, “I’m coming!”, or “You’re gonna stick that where?!”
… you’re skyclad all the time
… your broomstick has stains on it
… the white stuff on your altar candles isn’t wax
… your book of shadows includes the Kama Sutra
… you have a cigarette after every ritual
… your ceremonial/ritual candles are studded
… your ritual robes look like a French Maid costume
… you’re reading from “Everything you ever wanted to know about Paganism but…”
… your ritual music is sung by Madonna
… you find yourself using a phallic symbol to call down the gods several times a night
… you ask a Satanist if you can just “borrow” a
sacrificial animal fist
… you start having “cyber” rituals
… you keep having to charge the batteries in
your wand
… you have Fertility Rites a couple times a
week, and twice on Sabbats
… you automatically kneel every time your High Priest/ess comes in the room

Similar Sex Blogging:

• A Sacrifice To The Great Pumpkin
• Witches, Riding
• A Witch On Her Broom
• Modern Fertility Rituals
• Speaking of Horny Gamers

I’ve stayed away from the Paris Hilton sex tape story simply because (a) the tape’s not very good, from a purely technical perspective and (b) I’m uncomfortable with making a public spectacle of people’s private fun. However, I’m delighted to discover that Ms. Hilton appeared on Saturday Night Live and turned out to be an even better sport than the Dixie Chicks:

FALLON: Is it hard to get into the Paris Hilton?
PARIS: Actually, it’s a very exclusive hotel, no matter what you’ve heard.
FALLON: I hear the Paris Hilton is very beautiful.
PARIS: I’m glad you’ve heard that.
FALLON: Do they allow double occupancy at the Paris Hilton?
PARIS: No.
FALLON: Is the Paris Hilton roomy?
PARIS: It might be for you, but most people find it very comfortable.
FALLON: I’m a VIP. I may need to go in the back entrance.
PARIS: It doesn’t matter who you are. It’s not gonna happen.

No, it’s not what you think. What we have here is the product of too much time spent waiting for your food:

Thanks to Bondage Blog for the picture.

Diablo from Pussy Ranch is getting married! “Diablo and Jonny, sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then two little babies in a baby carriage….”

Here’s how it went down, since I know you ladies need the details about this sort of thing. And besides, it’s pretty cool:

On Friday, Jonny presented me with a saucy new ensemble from Wet Seal (the man has some seriously excellent taste) and told me I should wear it for a “surprise date” on Saturday. But of course! I adore surprises.

So I donned the beaded top, miniskirt and pink fishnet tights on Saturday evening (Jonny wore an extremely hot new outfit as well) and we headed out. It turned out he had made reservations at our favorite sushi restaurant. We ordered cocktails and nigiri and commenced a fabulous meal. After finishing, we decided we were still hungry and ordered a second round of sushi.

So you can imagine my shock when the waitress arrived with a tray not bearing spicy tuna rolls, but a white ring box. “Here’s your special roll,” she said, barely able to contain her glee. Jonny dropped to his knee as I began bawling my fool eyes out in front of many gawking diners, and popped the question.

I had a surprise planned too: See, we’d been talking about getting engaged a lot recently, and I had a hunch a proposal was forthcoming. So several days earlier (as it turns out, the exact day Jonny had purchased the ring), I had secretly had the word “yes” tattooed on the inside of my wrist. I’d hidden it with an AC/DC wristband and hoped my surprise wouldn’t be blown.

And it wasn’t; I whipped off the wristband and flashed Jonny my wrist. “Yes!” Onlookers applauded, and my feet haven’t touched the ground since.

I wanted my answer to last forever, and now it will. (In fact, it’s healing nicely.)

Congratulations to the both of ya!

Philip from Hot Action has some very cogent thoughts on male sex blogging. I specifically liked his thoughts about the ethics of blogging about sex:

As I see it, my main responsibility is to write as accurately and honestly as possible. I always picture the person involved reading the post and try to gauge if there is anything she could possibly take issue with.

But of course, it’s about way more than accuracy. […]

As a male sex blogger, I feel I have a duty to women to do them right. To give them my best writing, to extract the most beautiful or the most telling image from a situation, to pay tribute to them with elevated [or debased] language.

There are far more ways to make an event “unique and special” than by keeping it private.

I’m ashamed that I didn’t even know about Philip’s blog when I started discussing this subject.

I’ll catch some minor hell for this, but it’s true: sometimes (only sometimes, this is a literal statement and not that too-common rhetorical device of cloaking general distaste in vague disclaimer) when I read blogs by submissives, I get uneasy. Although I’m delighted whenever someone finds a lifestyle they find salutory and life-affirming, no matter how queasy their arrangements make me, there are some types of dominant/submissive relationships that seemed aimed at erasing the individuality, or even the humanity, if the submissive partner.

Accordingly, I am indebted to the strong-minded submissive Invidia, writing at The Collar Purple, for her recent pair of essays “What Submission Is” (scroll down to 12.04.03 entry) and “What Submission Is Not” (12.07.03 entry). The “Is” essay is a simple but powerful catalog of benefits and advantages a submissive (well, Invidia, anyway) enjoys as a consequence of her submission, while the “Is Not” essay covers just about everything that tends to make the hairs rise on the nape of my neck when I’m reading blogs by submissives. As Invidia herself points out, she’s not trying to define submission for anyone but herself, nor would I be impressed if she had done.

So what’s the ultimate reason for bring this up, if it’s all good and what’s wrong for Invidia may be perfectly fine for someone else, and so forth? Well, it’s because in reading so many sex blogs, I see a lot of people (men and women alike) who are talking about exploring dominance and submission but who are put off by some of the common practices Invidia includes in her “Is Not” essay. Perhaps, then, there is value in sharing her “you don’t have to treat your submissive like a Houseplant of Gor to play this game; the perfect submissive does not need to be three feet tall with a flat head to put drinks on” message with a broader audience.