So recently The Nymph was telling me some anecdote about a male friend of hers whose wife only agrees to have sex with him on his birthday. You know the marriage is dead when you’re down to birthday sex.

Which makes this story pretty sad:

My birthday is in about 3 weeks and she asked what I wanted and aside from a Drum set and a kitten I told her I wanted a blow job. She laughed at me and said that a) the neighbors would just LOVE a drum set 2) I can’t have a kitten because she’s allergic to cats and c) “Yeah, whatever”. So then I said I’d like to have sex with my wife on my birthday and she said “Come on! I’m serious!”

Whatever she’s serious about, it ain’t the marriage….

Here’s an amusing picture that looks a lot like a wedding reception (or more likely, a bridal shower or bachelorette party) gone wild:

The picture is courtesy of Bondage Blog.

Amazing. Enough to make a praying man out of me. Talk about an argument from design!

I’m not a nice man. Last night I had to tell her I got shipping confirmation on that toy order.

I may need to put up a .wav file of her saying “Pretty please? Pretty pretty please?” It’s worth hearing. I never knew I could be so heartless – or that I would enjoy it so much!

In other news, I have considered sending VTECH a stern letter of complaint about the way their cordless phone’s battery craps out after a mere seven hours or so. I have restrained myself to date only because I’m not sure I could withstand their hoots of helpless laughter.

Update: The .wav file is now linked.

She still wants to know what toys I ordered. She says her curiousity is killing her.

Being resolute has never been so much fun. She’s begun trying to bargain. I love keeping her wondering, so I’m holding out for a price I don’t think she’s going to pay. Namely, her permission to publish a certain picture she was kind enough to send me.

She came up with that idea, but backed off when I asked if she was sure. Give her time. She’s really curious.

I may go to hell for this, but I’ll go happy.

Belle De Jour continues to delight. This made me hoot with laughter:

He: “What can I do to make you come?”

Me: “It’s very complicated. We’d be here all night.”

“That sounds ideal.”

“Yes, but do you have a drill press and six goats? Also, the planets are not in the correct alignment.”

“Fair dues. I’ll know for next time.”

Daze linked to a now-removed Seattle Times story about the new naked sushi restaurant in Seattle that has all the anti-pleasure crew working their knickers into a frothy twist.

But I’ve got a scoop nobody else has got. The Seattle Times has a picture of the nude sushi serving lady all laid out in her plastic wrap and covered with delicious tidbits. But it’s not so pretty back in the food prep area, boys and girls. I know, I know, sushi gets made where the customers can watch. But the big seafood chunks have to get made into little seafood chunks somewhere, right? They don’t hack open sixty pounds of cephalopod in front of the customers. And here’s what it looks like in that back room: