Is it kinky Friday? It must be! Here are some kinky links for you all:

First: That relative rarity, a male/female fisting pic. From a series on this page.

Second: A Harry Potter slash story. Harry-slash-Draco. With spanking. And figging. Found via Figging.com.

Third: A gallery of vintage (or at least black and white) enema pictures.

ErosBlog, your infallible source (today only!) of links about butt.

Earlier this year, I posted this post and this other post linking to sites covering the alleged joys of figging and electrical stimulation, respectively. Little did I imagine that somewhere out there, people were combining the two.

Pause to imagine that for a moment. Then unclench your wabbly bits, and read on!

Sure enough. In the comments to this post at Spanking Blog, one “mrstimm” writes:

There is another slick way to do it: there’s a company here in England which makes essential essence oils (including ginger and hot chili) which can be inserted in the anus or rubbed on a freshly thrashed bottom. And if you are exceptionally wicked and into electrosex as well you can coat the stainless steel electrode with the oil, insert that in the anus, turn the power on, and cane the subbie whilst restrained.

…

I have to say the figging oils are so much more convenient when you want to combine either buttplugs or electrosex probes with spanking/caning or severe judicial punishments which I prefer. Ten times more effective.

I say, old chap, that’s just not nice!

Last night I had one of those feels-real dreams that I wish had been real…I was at a real hot bar, people hooking up all around me, and me just aching for some action of my own…then a muscular guy came over and went all dom on me, telling me he wanted me and wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Then he grabbed my hand and pulled (not too hard, because I wasn’t all that unwilling) me over to a table that was on the edge of the dance floor, where we could be seen and the lights played over us too. After some spanking that got me good and wet, he tied my hands together above my head, flipped me over, and slit my dress right up the middle, displaying me for anyone to see. Even though I was embarassed, it was arousing to see people watching…and enjoying the show…and I was so excited that when he began to pinch my nipples, I came. That led to lots of punishment, including him selling “pussy pokes”–fingers or tongues, $1, because I was “such an easy slut”. As soon as I’d start to get seriously worked up, he’d tell the person to stop, and laugh at me as I begged for more. Finally he unzipped and out came the hugest cock I’ve ever seen, and he plowed into me, just straight in all the way, which sent me over the edge. He pumped me hard until he came too…at which point I woke up, soaking wet and throbbing from coming in my sleep.

So that must mean that I’m living proof that some girls’ brains are a counterpart to the male brain shown here:

Don’t remember where I spotted this one.

Ok, it’s officially National Penis Month here at ErosBlog. National Penis Month will continue until the guys who can’t stand to see dick stop whining about it, or until I get bored, or until it’s July, whichever comes first. Hint: the more you whine, the longer it will take me to get bored.

I stole this particularly fat-and-healthy-looking cock specimen from Spanking Blog.

And since ThatGirl started it: “Penis penis penis penis penis!”

Here’s a “marriage enhancement program” that’s not quite the first thing you would expect to hear from your local church pastor. Spanking Blog has an anecdote involving an unnamed church in Georgia that counsels husbands to spank their wives. Spankings should be “firm but fair, merciful but memorable” and are to be accepted with “grace and dignity”:

About ten years ago we began going to a church here in Georgia that I guess qualifies as “conservative.” New members are encouraged to go through a marriage enhancement program.

Our church only discusses this in private counseling. But basically what they teach is that a husband has not just authority but also responsibility to his wife, and that a wife is to submit to that authority. The most loving think someone with authority can do is discipline the person s/he has authority over. So the most loving thing my husband can do is discipline me when I need it!

Our church offers the following guidelines: a spanking should be firm but fair, merciful but memorable. What that means is:

firm – to do what is promised. If I’m SUPPOSED to get spanked for something, I get it. If I’m supposed to get 10, I get 10.

fair – a level of discipline that matches the offence.

merciful – not mean spirited. not in anger.

memorable – a spanking that will come to mind the next time I think about doing whatever it was again.

The church also offers the advice that a woman should be able to accept discipline with “grace and dignity.” When my husband tells me I’m getting one, I am supposed to behave well about it. When the spanking actually comes, I am supposed to do what is expected of me and obey the instructions he gives me.

But don’t get this wrong, it isn’t supposed to be just another ancient remnant of joyless patriarchal privilege. They intend for it to lead to hot monkey lovin’, as everybody knows a good spousal spanking is inclined to do:

Is any of this sexual? Or erotic? Definitely! And our church acknowledges that. We don’t feel like there’s a contradiction in that. And sex almost always follows.

Who woulda thunk it?

Following yesterday’s link at Spanking Blog to an article in the India Times, I was entertained to discover this article on arranged marriages among Indian cricketeers:

They Like It Arranged!

There is more than just kudos awaiting the Indian cricket team when they return. Some have their new brides and others, like good ol’ Laxman, have their bride-to-be waiting for them. But guess what else these cricketers have in common. They belong to the arranged marriage club.

The trend began with Dravid, whose arranged marriage to Vijayta became the most talked about event last year. Shortly following was Murali Karthik, India’s newest left hand spinner, who married a pretty girl of his parents’ choice.

But the cricketing hero to recently hit the news for his nuptial plans is V V S Laxman. Betrothed to a Guntur girl, Shailaja, Laxman has just ended his term on the list of available young men. And by now, it comes as no surprise that his too is an arranged marriage.

“On one level I think it is a personal decision, but on another it is also an image thing,” says Prakash Malhotra, senior manager, public relations, at a leading PR agency. “After the scandals that many cricketers were embroiled in recently, they have wised up and want to maintain a clean image.
…
The next eligible bachelors on the team are Sehwag and Yuvraj. And in all likelihood these two will oblige their hugely popular moms. Yuvraj’s mom has already on record saying that her laadla will marry none other than a girl of her choice. As for Sehwag, his love for his ma has helped sell mobile phones so chances are, it will get him married too!

Sasha responds in her Love Bites column to a question about playing with hot wax. After some quick practical advice (no beeswax, best to use small white candles you can get a precise grip on, that sort of thing), she begins to get creative:

I was also curious about the wax people use to do their bikini lines and legs. Hmmm… how would that feel dribbled on the ass cheeks and other delicate areas, then ripped off? Kind of a reverse spanking. Delicious! So I got out the Test Buttocks and the Andrea Warm Wax Kit and experimented to see what happens.

Three hours later: OK, seriously you guys, BEST GAME EVER. I don’t like to quantify things this way, but I am going to put this in my top 10 sex experiences of all time. Not only is the hot-wax-dripping part of this exciting (you get excellent control with the small spatulas provided, and the wax is a beautiful teal green that goes pearly when it dries), but the tearing is apparently, for those who like this kind of pain, perfection. Tips: put the pot of hot wax on a plate to avoid a mess, hold the plate above the victim and start the dripping from a high level to establish thresholds. The wax can also be reused, but you may find certain impressions it makes lovely mementoes.

You’ve just got to love a sex advice columnist who keeps a set of “Test Buttocks” handy.