Yet Another “Shooting For Kink.com” Story

And here’s another one. This guy signed up as an extra for one of the massive indoor-gangbang sequences at Public Disgrace, and found it to be ethical porn-making in action. His report is called Liking Porn And Loving Women: My Day As An Ethical Porn Star; he’s got a lot to say, but this is from near the end:

Princess Donna ripped the clothing off the models and encouraged the audience to do all sorts of nasty things to them. Her commands carried over the crowd as she busted out all manner of kinky sex devices. Fairly close attention was paid to the models’ well-being, but the check-ins were so subtle that I doubt the audience even noticed. Whenever either woman approached her breaking point, Donna carved a path toward the exit and let them go on break.

…

I don’t have any regrets about participating in Public Disgrace. Because it showed me that ethical pornography is a real thing that can empower its participants. And because it let me see that porn stars are just, well, people – people who enjoy getting naked and having sex who just so happen to get paid for it.

Even with all my nervousness leading up to the shoot, Public Disgrace was still an unforgettable experience and I’d probably do it again.

There’s something deliciously seedy about his photo of the accoutrements marshalled for the Public Disgrace production. It reminds me of an atmospheric shot for a horror movie or for the interrogation scene in an old war movie, but here it’s just a “get the supplies laid out” bit of movie-making practicality:

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Defining Sex Positivity

Franklin Veaux has set off on a bold stroll through the minefields of sex positivity, with this post that mostly expounds on what sex positivity is not. As somebody who has long used the term, I found his disquisition useful. I didn’t quite agree with his one paragraph on what “sex positive” actually is, though:

Sex positivity at its core is simply the recognition that there is more than one “right” way to have sexual relationships. It is an acknowledgement that human sexuality is incredibly diverse, that different people have different tastes and relate to sexuality in different ways, and that as long as everyone is having sex with consenting adult partners, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with sex, regardless of the way people relate to it. In short, it’s a deliberate refusal to place one’s own sexuality on a pedestal and proclaim it the “right” way to have sex.

My thought upon reading that was that I’d just boil that down to “Sex positivity is about being non-judgmental about consensual sexual choices.” But upon reflection, I decided that’s not enough.

Franklin’s paragraph, and my sentence, are statements that establish a space by bounding it and excluding things from it. In my sentence, the word “non-judgmental” is key; “acknowledgment that … there is nothing wrong” and “deliberate refusal” are key phrases in his paragraph.

At best, we’re describing a lack of sex-negativity with phrases like these. I think being genuinely sex-positive requires something more. Franklin’s post details many specific things sex positivity is not; mostly, these are specific sexual propositions or arguments that have been claimed to underlie, and be necessary to, the sex-positive position. And I agree with him that none of these, individually, are necessary to sex-positivity.

However, I do think you can’t be sex-positive without — risking tautology here — being positive about some sex. Being “not negative” doesn’t quite get you there. Being “not negative” probably suffices to unsubscribe you from the armies of the anti-sex culture warriors, but you’ve got to take a positive position and celebrate sexuality in some way, I’d argue, to be sex-positive.

Do you have to celebrate all the sex? Of course not. If you’re like most people with pronounced tastes and opinions, some of the sexual propositions and subcultures out there will strike you as boring, frightening, risible, or worse. No matter. Sometimes being non-judgmental doesn’t require much more from you than keeping your mouth firmly shut. “It’s not for me” doesn’t make you judgmental, but if you examine your motives for expressing that sentiment, there’s usually a parcel of judgment to be found. Sex positive people, I’ve found, spend a lot of time celebrating what they are into, and waste very few words talking about the sex that doesn’t appeal.

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Mommy Blogging Done Better

Now this is mommy blogging I can get behind:

How Great Sex Made Me A Good Mom

That’s the name of the blog, not a post title. My favorite moment in a fast pass down the first page: asking the teenage son, as surreptitiously as possible (not very), how to find the cable channel with the good fucking music:

One night when we tired as usual but quite desperate to be each other’s arms I just really needed romance with the sex. I couldn’t take one more minute of quiet humping in the dark! I knew that I had seen some station that played many music videos in a row with Marmar. I tried to find it on demand with no luck. All the ones I saw were one video at a time. So I had to actually get up and put a robe on to ask him, just oh so casually, like I wanted to educate myself about R&B video on a random tuesday night at 10:55PM, “Honey what was that station that had the videos?”

“music choice”

“No not that one. The one with many playing a row.”

“BET Midnight Love….Where did you hide the Oreos?” Him yelling.

“Don’t wake up the boys. Behind the soup. …THANKS…” me half yelling down the stairs.

And that’s how we started having sex to the light and sounds of Midnight Love on BET on demand.

Sex In A Rubber Catsuit

Always interested in descriptions of novel sexual sensations, I have this report from ThisGirl on what it feels like to have sex while wearing a heavy rubber catsuit. Not as detailed as we might want, perhaps, but it’s a start:

Having sex in skin tight latex is a lot of fun. It feels sort of like being trapped within someone or something else. It’s not really easy to describe without it sounding a bit like some sort of porn story…but if you’ve experienced similar yourself then you’ll get the idea. It was very erotic, though a little strange that there was very little skin to skin contact for a change.

This girl felt completely as though she was his sex doll, wrapped up in all that rubber. Controlled by him, orgasming at his command.

What else is there really to say about that? Who wants to read about sex, sweat and latex right? Because this girl really can’t articulate too well how it feels to have that much sex whilst wearing latex after being locked up in that bloody thing because it was just so erotic…so orgasmic…and just a little too intimate to go into too much graphic detail.

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