Same Dick Forever

It is the custom, I know, for groomsmen or bridesmaids to “decorate” the getaway vehicle the newlyweds will drive away in. Sometimes these pranks are brutally reductive about the institution of marriage:

Custom or not, I believe there’s merit in a couple choosing to secure their transportation against this sort of levity. It would not be excessive to park in some hidden place a few miles away and then surprise everyone by driving off in a Uber.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Married Life Agrees With Them
• Her Smooth Ride
• His Last Fling With The Bride
• Hay Bale Honeymoon
• Wedding Night Surprise
• You May Kiss The Groom
• Panty Labels To Avoid Confusion
• Honeymoon Sex

Hay Bale Honeymoon

Old farmer John found himself a pretty young wife, but of course you can’t go on a long honeymoon when there are cows to milk twice a day. So the honeymoon isn’t everything she had imagined, and it is a few things she hadn’t expected:

Art is by Alazar, from the 1970s.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Dances (Nude) With Hay Balers
• Down By The Horse Corral
• Uschi The Farmer's Wife
• Honeymoon Sex
• Riding The Old Pitchfork

The Bride Wore Beads

Anal beads, that is…

( backup link )

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Anal Swizzle Sticks
• Bride In Lingerie
• June Is Naked Bride Season
• Happy Sex: Bride Or Ballerina?
• Kinky Bride, Vanilla Groom

Wedding Night Surprise

Between this:

and this:

one might reasonably expect to see a bit of this:

But you probably wouldn’t expect all of this!

(Images are from Bound Gangbangs.)

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Start As You Mean To Continue
• A Very Special Honeymoon
• Divine Bitches: They Have Cake!
• Honeymoon Sex
• Happy Sex: Bride Or Ballerina?
• Kinky Bride, Vanilla Groom

Your Sex Is Being Twittered…And Scored

This sets off all my “is probably an internet hoax” filters. But it’s funny even if it’s not true:

When a man in the UK was asked to be the best man at his friend’s wedding, he was touched. So touched, that he promised not to pull any pranks before or during the wedding. After the wedding though, that’s another story.

This man, who is choosing to stay anonymous, has set up this Twitter account for the sole purpose of automatically tweeting when the newlyweds are having sex. I’m not kidding. Read the entire tweet stream from the bottom up if you want the full story. But basically, this guy was watching his friend’s house while they went on their honeymoon and he placed a device under their mattress. This device…is a pressure-sensitive pad that tweets out when sexual activity starts, when it ends, the force of the “action,” and a “frenzy” rating.

High tech voyeurism! And not the last such device we’ll be hearing about, I’m sure…