Crackers In The Flavor Of A Tasty Ass

If you must eat crackers that taste like ass, we pray for your sake that the ass they taste like is a tasty one:

The sordid truth, of course, is that this is just another case of the algorithm taking matters out of the hands of the the underpaid and semi-literate workers, as with the Summa Cum Laude cake that the Publix online ordering system refused to sell to a proud momma a few days ago because it had the “profane” word “cum” in it. These are Tastyâ„¢-brand “assorted” crackers, and the machine that prints out the Managers [sic] Special sale placards has some algo that says something like “two lines, eight to ten characters per line, lines must be the same length, truncate the end of whichever line you have to to make the lines match.” It’s very possible that a shift “manager” is supposed to review and approve a stack of these placards every morning when they roll hot from the printer, but the half-hour hassle to implement and redo a changed placard is not going to blip the biweekly automated productivity review in any kind of positive way, so why bother? Do you think a regional or a district manager is ever going to go down the ass-cracker aisle?

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Tumblr Complaint Of The Day

Found here:

“Animal Planet got two teams of experts helping these dumbass tigers fuck so the species won’t die but not one of y’all lazy fucks can FedEx me a lesbian?”

Condemning The Very Idea Of Sex As Sin

Sometimes I worry that the intellectual tradition of the good internet rant is falling out of favor. Oh, the stupid and noisy ranters on television will be with us always — but the finest thoughtful internet rants seem to grow increasingly rare.

A couple of weeks ago, though, Emily Nagoski delivered a barnstormer, on why it is not (and should not be) respectable to conflate sex and sin:

Believing that gay people are going to hell gives a cultural purchase to hatred and violence. Like a little bump on a rock where over years barnacles accumulate, the idea of sex as sin is a foothold for discrimination, bullying, harassment, and violence.

That’s just the tiniest taste of an epic and righteous rant. Like all good rants, it’s a one-piece; I can’t snip three paragraphs without doing horrid violence to the art form.

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