Girls School Hickey Party

When Meredith tells a cute story about kissing other girls to give them fake hickeys, I confess to wondering the same thing she eventually got around to asking herself: “What’s fake about this hickey?”

I went to all-girls high school and a lot of times people ask if it was homoerotic. And usually how I describe all-girls high school is, it was like a much-needed all-female reboot to the Stanford Prison Experiment. But asking if all-girls school was queer is interesting.

I remember there was one time… My friends and I had a plan to give each other fake hickeys to make a group of boys jealous. Two things about that:

First, when you are on the ground in the trenches you realize pretty quickly: What’s fake about this hickey? Because I am just sucking on your neck.

Secondly, at our at our school there weren’t… there were no boys to make jealous! So our plan to do fake hickeys for boys? Girl, I think I gave you a real hickey for me.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Shower Seduction
• Young Lesbians: They Got A Room
• This Erotica Kills Fascists: Mädchen in Uniform
• Love Bites
• The Girls School Kissing Orgy
• Gawker Media Goes To Vegas
• Hickey Happiness!

Come To The Board And Strip!

In What The Porn Set Chalkboard Tells Us About Ourselves, the legendary porn journalist and blogger Gram Ponante shares his brief reflections, with photographic examples, on the absurdity of modern porn being shot on sets that are shallow parodies of a 1970s classroom, complete with dusty chalkboards:

Most places at which cheapie porn movies are shot have several customizable rooms. There’s the jail cell/dungeon, the bedroom, the doctor’s office (which can double as a regular office once the crew removes the hanging skeleton and poster from Gray’s Anatomy), and the classroom.

If you have been inside a classroom in the past 20 years, you’ll still see a chalkboard but it is hardly ever used. There’s a projector, there’s assignments on Google Classroom to tackle with Chromebooks, and there’s endless Youtube videos the teacher looks up on the fly when there’s more time to kill. Most teachers can’t remember the last time they used chalk.

Yet here we are, in a world in which fully-matured women above the age of eighteen are still required to dress in school uniforms (this did not happen when I took that floral design class at Glendale Community College) and the writing on the chalkboard is entirely a response to that FOMO feeling of, “We have this chalkboard; shouldn’t we write something on it?”

It genuinely is one of the most absurd tropes in a creative artform that is rich with them. And yet who doesn’t enjoy a porn starlet pretending to be a naughty student?

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Book On The Floor
• Humiliated Tramp And Slut (Alleged)
• This Erotica Kills Fascists: Mädchen in Uniform
• Making Fun Of Teacher
• A Sexier Sex Ed Class
• Paying Attention In Class
• No More Panties, No More Books...
• Schoolgirls Simulated Badly

No More Panties, No More Books…

Just stripping in the classroom for mutual exploration and dirty fun!

Because, apparently, that’s how they roll at St. Mackenzies Academy for wayward girls.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Best School Nurse Ever
• Sandy The Schoolgirl
• Women's Lib, Circa 1976: Cane The Girls Too!
• Schoolgirls Simulated Badly

Schoolgirls Simulated Badly

Bad bogus school girls have always been one of the funniest things in porn (especially in spanking movies) — hard-edged (or just very “grown up”) women in pigtails and short skirts, presented as student-aged with laughable implausibility. It’s a healthy joke in one sense, as it allows producers and consumers of “school girl” porn to do their thing without anyone having to worry that the ladies might actually be underaged.

All of which is by way of pointing out Spanking Blog has recently found two especially hilarious examples of the “laughably bad schoolgirl” genre:

Very Grown Up “Schoolgirl”

Obvious Porn Starlet “Schoolgirls”

Similar Sex Blogging:

• On The Attribution Of Naughty "Schoolgirls"
• Sandy The Schoolgirl
• Women's Lib, Circa 1976: Cane The Girls Too!