When His Wife Catches Him

This conversation about a husband “getting caught” watching porn will likely make you laugh:

My Wife: What are you doing?

Me: Don’t come in here!

Her: Why? Are you watching porn?

Me: You’re supposed to be in the other room writing slash fiction!

Her: Walter White and Jesse Pinkman can wait. Let me see what you’re watching.

Me: This is my man-cave time! Don’t—

Her: Come on! Let me see!

Me: No! I—

Her: Ooooooooooo. That is really hot.

Me: Oh, for crying out—

Her: What? You really think I’m going to be upset? How long have we been together?

Me: No, I just… I mean… Oh, hell. I admit it. I kind of get off the idea that you’re going to get really, really pissed if you catch me, and that I’m in here doing something really, really bad.

Her: A role play! I can do that!

Me: (pause) Really?

Her: Really. Let me go out and come back in again.

Me: And you’ll be angry this time?

Her: Really angry. Just wait.

Me: God, I love you. Give me a minute, though. I need to cue the video back up to the good part…

From Kinkster Of A Certain Age.

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On “Using” Porn

I’ve long viewed the phrase “porn use” as a red flag that tells me the speaker is against porn. But I never realized precisely why the seemingly-innocent phrase was so loaded. Fortunately, Dr. Charlie Glickman nails it in an article at Good Vibrations:

On one of the sex education email lists that I follow, someone posted a question about “porn use.” And while I’ve seen this phrase used more times than I can count, it suddenly seemed to me that the term implies a bias that runs so deeply that it’s effectively invisible.

I think it’s rather interesting that people often talk about “porn use” even though they don’t talk about “sitcom use,” “talk show use,” or “romantic comedy use.” Instead, we might ask someone how often they watch TV, or talk shows, or movies. We might say that we enjoy Law & Order, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone say that they “use” Law & Order.

But when we get into the area of porn, we sometimes shift our language away from words that we use to talk about any other media and start using a phrase that sounds like we’re talking about drugs. People use Advil, or caffeine, or cocaine. And it seems to me that when we talk about using porn, we’re framing it in the same way.

Of course there’s more.