Steel Bondage The Hogtied Way

I was cleaning out some old files the other day and stumbled over this gem. It’s a classic example of how Hogtied exploded onto the internet bondage erotica scene, and established a quality lead that’s rarely if ever been challenged. Simplicity itself: A beautiful women (look at her lovely hair, mmmm) in strict-but-not-complex bondage, holding her in a sexually available pose. What’s not to like?

See also: very flexible hogtied beauty.

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Sexual Chemistry

I took a chemistry class once. But my teacher didn’t look like this:

She didn’t act like that, either.

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Smoking Opium, But She Didn’t Inhale

Here’s a funny gallery of erotic Indian art with snide commentary. My favorite is this image of a lady with her hookah, nozzle not being sucked in the usual way:

Commentary:

The Wrong Hole: we all like a post-coital cigarette but this is just ridiculous. Or maybe I have it all wrong and that’s actually some kind of ancient anti-pregnancy felching machine? Well, whatever it is, she seems to like it. I just feel bad for the poor bastard who goes and smokes that thing next. Or do I envy him? Shit, I’m turning myself on.

Thanks to Sexoteric for the link.

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Who Says Learning Can’t Be Sexy?

Maybe I was a pervy kid, because stuff like this sure would have got my attention when I was supposed to be learning my letters and numbers. Instead I was kissing boys!

The sunburst at the meeting of the pelvises would have been pretty back then…..now I know what it means. How I love that feeling!

The full alphabet and other beautiful art are available beginning at this first page of an Erte gallery. The thumbnails are fun teases!

Female Ejaculation, The Susie Bright Take

The last time the subject of female ejaculation came up on this blog, I had to take firm measures with the delete button to prevent the comments from deteriorating into what I called “sexual ignorance and doubt”. So I’m delighted to present Susie Bright’s findings, from when she was asked by AVN to provide her expert opinion:

Holy Hellcat! Yes, this is real. It is also extraordinary. These women are on a mission, and they keep themselves pumped up, pulsating their clits and masturbating with “no fake about it” intensity, coming again and again and again and again. And again.

…

Their clits are so engorged that their whole pelvic area swells up with definition. The room is soaked. They roar like lions and shoot like geysers. Camille Paglia with her “arc of transcendence” notion about male pissing contests really needs to see this.

There’s much, much more.

Biggus Dickus (He Has A Wife, You Know)

Though ErosBlog has a firm policy against picking on anybody’s kink, we reserve the right to marvel at some of them. And one of the kinks I marvel at sometimes is the insertion of really big stuff where you wouldn’t think it should oughta fit. Case in point: The Sumo Rustler five-and-a-half-pound vinyl dildo:

Note the two-liter soda bottle included for scale.

Me, I think the thing would make a most excellent paperweight. If I worked in a cubie farm, I’d keep it on top of the papers in my inbox. You want to leave me more work in my in basket? First, grasp the cock firmly between thumb and four fingers….

Complex Seductions

Here’s another lesson from Naked Loft Party on the intricacies of complex seduction situations:

Les excused herself to go find the restroom. In the meantime I practiced leaning back in my barstool and appearing nonchalant. The raven-haired beauty turned around and smiled at me across the expanse of Leslie’s vacant seat. I immediately recognized her as the very same woman who’d smiled at me shortly after we’d arrived at the bar. I returned the favor, nodding slightly as if to say: “Your move, babe.”

She inched closer, leaning over the stool between us. “So is she your girlfriend or what?”

For the monogamous man the answer is straightforward: you decline the beautiful stranger’s invitation and then titter nervously, quietly cursing yourself over never having been approached by beautiful women when you were single. But for those of us who tempt fate the answer to this simple question is fraught with complications. If you answer “yes” without qualification she’ll likely assume the door is closed. If, on the other hand, you immediately launch into a discussion concerning the particulars of your dating life you risk coming across as a threesome-obsessed sleazebag. Which is not to say that I’m not a threesome-obsesses sleazebag, but there’s a time and place for everything.

And so, feeling a little bit like a time-traveler trying to explain my strange customs to the ancients, I took the latter route. “Well yes,” I said, “but we also see other people.”

On A Clear Day You Can See…The Moon?

Here’s a man who got a chance to moon an entire continent, and so he took it:

KATHMANDU (Reuters) – The head of the Nepal Mountaineering Association urged the government Saturday to take action against a sherpa who reportedly stripped on top of Mount Everest.
The Himalayan Times had reported Friday that the Nepali climbing guide, whose name it gave as Lakpa Tharke, stood naked for three minutes in freezing conditions on the 29,035-foot summit of the world’s highest peak.

If confirmed, he would be the first person known to have stripped atop Everest, considered by Nepali Buddhists as a god.

Ang Tshering Sherpa, head of Nepal’s top mountaineering body, said he could not confirm that the incident had happened.

“But if he did it, it is very shocking because Sagarmatha is the goddess mother,” he said, using the mountain’s Nepali name.

Awesome.

Thanks to Sexoteric for the link.

Nudes, With Breakfast

We all know that frying bacon in the nude is an adventure, but these ladies seem to be scrambling eggs, which is safer. Is somebody getting breakfast in bed?

Vintage photo is from alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage.

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Sexual Bargaining

One thing I like about sex blogs is the window it offers into the sexual lives of real people. In particular, we sometimes hear anecdotes of the sexaul bargains and accomodations that people make. Sexual negotiation, chore negotiation, and marital conflict resolution never works like this in the movies, but in the real world anything is possible:

Yesterday I had a party to go to and I needed to bring some things. I worked the night before and realized I still needed to go to the store right when I woke up, but was still WAY too tired to get up and go. I asked Vincent to go for me, but he said no. So, being the smart woman I am, I made him a deal – I’d give him 5 on-demand blow jobs if he went to the store for me. Being a typical man, he accepted the deal (even made me shake on it, his own wife!)

So, naturally, before I left for the party, I only had 4 left to give.

Blowjob History

Vanity Fair has published (popup warning) a sort of literary history of the blowjob, overwritten by Christopher Hitchens in his erudite but often-annoying cult-crit style:

“The magic and might of her own soft mouth ? ” Erotic poets have hymned it down the ages, though often substituting the word “his.” The menu of brothel offerings in ancient Pompeii, preserved through centuries of volcanic burial, features it in the frescoes. It was considered, as poor Humbert well knew, to be worth paying for. The temple carvings of India and the Kamasutra make rather a lavish point of it, and Sigmund Freud wondered if a passage in Leonardo da Vinci’s notebooks might not betray an early attachment to that “which in respectable society is considered a loathsome perversion.” Da Vinci may have chosen to write in “code” and Nabokov may have chosen to dissolve into French, as he usually did when touching on the risque — but the well-known word “fellatio” comes from the Latin verb “to suck.”

Disappointingly, I really only learned one new thing, and that was only a hint, archly delivered in a word-to-the-wise-is-sufficient sort of way:

…gay men like to keep their tonsils for a reason that I would not dream of mentioning…

Oh really?

Pussy Bondage

If you’ve had any experience at all with the adventure that is following blind links on the internet, then this will be exactly what you expect:

Pussy Bondage

And here’s the ErosBlog equivalent of Boing Boing’s unicorn chaser:

Bondage Blowjob

Wrestling, With Penis

Some context for this photo would be nice, but alas, I don’t have any to offer:

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How To Wash A Girl

I’ve heard of being so out of clean clothes that one is naked in the laundromat, waiting for the wash to get done. But this soapy young thing is taking it to the next level:

Do you suppose she’s planning to ride in the dryer, too?

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Blogging Services Still Suck

Almost two years ago I posted my controversial opinion that blogging services suck, citing an incident where LiveJournal killed a vibrant vintage erotica resource and concluding:

Anything worth doing on the internet is worth doing at your own domain that you control.

I still feel this way. Latest evidence, from LiveJournal again: apparently they are threatening to suspend users who dare to display the dreaded nipple, even when it belongs to the Virgin Mary and is being suckled by none less holy than the Blessed Baby Jesus:

Picking to the bottom of a huge flapdoodle with many nuances, the bottom line is that LiveJournal recently changed a FAQ explaining its TOS; the TOS prohibits “inappropriate” imagery, and the FAQ change nerfed a “graphically sexual” interpretation of “inappropriate”, replacing it with a “nudity” interpretation. In short, the prudishness got kicked up several notches. Obviously, folks object to the idea that all nudity is inappropriate by definition, because it’s such a fundamentally silly and stupid idea.

LiveJournal owner Six Apart has issued the classic corporate non-apology, stating in effect (I’m paraphrasing, and not with sympathy) “We’re sorry our new no-nipple policy makes us look stupid and bad, but we’re really not stupid and bad, so we’re not sorry for doing stupid bad stuff to our users, and we’re gonna keep doing it, neener neener, thank you for your support.”

In the Making Light post cited above, a commenter offers up a potential explanation of the corporate business pressures that might be responsible for all this anti-nipple stupidity. He then concludes with a version of my point from two years ago:

But the one thing this whole debacle proves is, you should never trust a public corporation to hold your blog or social network, because they will always try to place the interests of their shareholders ahead of the desires of their customers.

Exactly. Get your own domain, and get it hosted by somebody smart who knows he’s selling bandwidth, and that you’re the customer. And if you want to show some nipple, make sure your host has customers who sell real pornography on their sites. I promise, a web host with customers selling Street Blowjobs or Cum Fiesta is just going to laugh like hell at anyone who emails to complain about your nipples, whether or not there’s a baby attached.

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Giving Him A Lick

Just to mix things up a bit, here’s a bit of vintage gay porn from BJ, who sells this sort of thing on Ebay when he can get away with it, and distributes free samples on his blog:

BJ wonders about splinters, and I’m convinced there’s a stupid pun in here somewhere involving the word “wood”, but I’m not going to stretch for it.