The Anal Hiccup Cure
Via Boing Boing comes word that persistent hiccups (no laughing matter, some people have them for years, and can’t even swallow solid food because of it) can sometimes be stopped via “digital rectal massage”:
A 60-year-old man with acute pancreatitis developed persistent hiccups after insertion of a nasogastric tube. Removal of the latter did not terminate the hiccups which had also been treated with different drugs, and several manoeuvres were attempted, but with no success. Digital rectal massage was then performed resulting in abrupt cessation of the hiccups. Recurrence of the hiccups occurred several hours later, and again, they were terminated immediately with digital rectal massage. No other recurrences were observed.
One imagines that a finger is not the only appendage that would work, which immediately makes me think of a great approach for those of you whose main squeeze has painted on the stop sign. Next time they get the hiccups that won’t go away, forget the drink of water, the brown paper bag, the sudden scare. Instead, say “Honey, I know a sure cure…”
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=1757
My mother-in-law is frequently struck with this malady at family gatherings, such as Thanksgiving dinner, perhaps the next time this disorder occurs, I should pass along your suggestion.
Modern thinking on hiccups is that it’s caused by a “short circuit” in the nervous system which occurs when it can’t decide whether your body’s next action should be to breathe or swallow (You CAN’T do both simultaneously). That’s why conscious deep breathing will often help if undertaken right away, or drinking a glass of water very quickly. Either acts like a reset button. Having something enter your rectum is a third option. Your system’s attention is suddenly diverted to yet another action altogether which is likely to receive it’s full concentration for a moment, and then the body should return to normal breathing, or at least what passes for normal when one’s rectum is being “massaged”… The first two methods would supposedly be preferred when one is struck with spasms of the diaphram in public, but some may find the latter method more fun in a private setting. If the sufferer is female, and/or has a male partner, and this stimulation is provided with a certain appendage of the male anatomy, the paroxysms may be violent enough to register in the sphincter itself, resulting in a pleasant corresponding or corollary “massage” to his member as well…
By the way, if you try it, and it doesn’t seem to be working for you, as “koshka” (see the above mentioned “painted on the stop sign” link) blogged on September 15th, 8:16 pm don’t just give up, try simutaneous genital stimulation and “the third time is the charm”…
Credit where it is due; this is one of this year’s award winners in the “Ig Nobel Prizes”.
Finally a prescription I like!
If you read the Ig Nobel prize award, you see that the researcher has given up on this therapy.
What he was really after was stimulation of the vagus nerve. So now what he recommends is vigorous sex, leading to orgasm, since that would stimulate the vagus nerve even more.
Which isn’t to say that you couldn’t combine the therapies … “Hey honey, what a coincidence! Want to help me with mine while I help you with yours? “