10 Things You Should Never Say To A Porn Star
Wicked star Stormy Daniels tells you what not to say:
10. You’re too pretty to do porn. (So, you’re saying you would prefer to watch ugly people fuck?)
9. Your vagina must be really worn out. (Mine isn’t nearly as bad as your mother’s after pushing such a giant idiot like you out of it.)
8. I would never watch porn. I think it is degrading to women. (Then how did you know my name? And my measurements? And my astrological sign? And my birthdate?)
7. How do I get my girlfriend/wife to do ________? (Ask her, not me. By the way, talking to me in the first place is not helping your cause.)
6. Wow! You’re so much prettier/younger/thinner in your photos. (Obviously your mother didn’t teach you anything and it is called Photoshop.)
5. I pleasured myself to you 10 times this week! (OK, I didn’t need to know precisely how pathetic you are. And stop trying to shake my hand. I now unfortunately know exactly where it has been.)
4. I could do porn. (No, you couldn’t. If you could, you already would be … and no, I will NOT audition you!)
3. Are those yours? (Well, I paid for them.)
2. Do you think you are going to hell? (Discussing religion with a porn star will get you as far as discussing porn with your grandmother … just don’t try it.)
1. I wanna take you out on a “real” date. ( I did not realize all my other ones were imaginary.)
The items on this list don’t really surprise me; the fact that the world is full of people who are just sort of … broken … when it comes to their ideas about sex and porn is one of the primary motivating factors behind this blog. But if we take this list as evidence that people say these things fairly often to people like Stormy, it does surprise me in one sense. Don’t these people have any verbal filters? It’s one thing to be full of screwed-up attitudes, but how do you get that comfortable with ’em?
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“I pleasured myself to you 10 times this week! (OK, I didn’t need to know precisely how pathetic you are)”
What a terrible attitude to have toward your fans. I agree that going into that much detail is tactless, but thinking that your fans are “pathetic” for enjoying your work is disappointing and hardly sex positive.
Lurking, I do believe you missed the point.
What’s pathetic is not the fan pleasuring himself — that’s the whole point of the economic enterprise, and Stormy is smart enough to know it — but rather the idea that anybody wants to hear about it on a casual first meeting.
It’s pathetic to think that anybody would actually think that was a decent thing to say.
What scares me is that in order for this list to be created somebody had to be stupid enough to say these things, its like warning labels. “Caution coffee hot” “Do not use hair dryer in shower or bathtub” Helloooo McFlyyy?
Obviously people are masturbating to her, duh, but no one really wants to hear the details of it. There’s a difference between “hey, your movies are great!” and “hey, I beat off to you this morning!”
Also, people are complete fucking idiots no matter what or where you are in life. You get moronic questions everywhere.
I’m guessing Stormy is exaggerating a little for effect but I can see Lurkings point. Having met a few adult film stars I can report that it’s like meeting anyone else who is slightly famous–if you’re a little in awe your mouth is apt to embarrass you before your brain realizes what happened. I know a classical guitarist who literally fell down in front of John Lennon the one and only time he met him. I asked Vanessa del Rio about her body building and healthy eating habits but I think I was so tongue tied with Annie Sprinkles that I probably just said “I love your tits” or some other stupid thing. I’d guess that porn stars are more apt to have people say inappropriate things to them out of malice or jealousy so that when an actual fan (lunkhead or no) approaches in a clumsy fashion the fan will simply be dismissed as another bad encounter.