If its a “hard-fought battle” then you’re doing it all wrong. (There should never be a down side to sexy lingerie.) It should be an easy-won victory… Here’s how it should play out:
You have a dressy dinner date, you answer the doorbell, and there stands your gentleman caller. Muster all of the innocence you can project, and temper it with a hint of frustration, then with a deep breath start chattering: “Oh hello. You’re just in time. I’ve been struggling with these darn stockings for at least twenty minutes now, and no matter what I do, when I twist to check the seams in the mirror, they still look crooked. (Here’s where you thrust out your hips and chest, and with a slightly pouty frown, turn your head to look over your shoulder, and down your nose at your calves…) My roommate usually helps me get them just right, but she’s been out shopping all afternoon. Its just like her to abandon me at a time of need like this. I realize that this is our first date and all, but I’d just die if I didn’t look presentable. Will you be a dear and help me make sure that they are straight starting at the center of each heel and going all they way to the top…”
Remember, once you start talking, don’t stop to catch your breath or to give him time to think. I recommend watching the 1985 film “Real Genius” with Michelle Meyrink as Jordan Cochran to get a feel for the right attitude. Look for the scene where she introduces herself saying: ” …I never sleep, I don’t know why. I had a roommate and I drove her nuts, I mean really nuts, they had to take her away in an ambulance and everything. But she’s okay now, but she had to transfer to an easier school, but I don’t know if that had anything to do with being my fault. But listen, if you ever need to talk or you need help studying just let me know, ’cause I’m just a couple doors down from you guys and I never sleep, okay?…”
When you can lip sync this entire scene along with her, at full speed, all the while looking guileless, and not get caught catching your breath, you’ll know you’re ready…
You may need a bit of additional banter as your date kneels to study the problem, but Michelle can be a big help with dialog here as well, so study the rest of the movie for hints.
Now at this point, if everything goes as it should in your foyer, there’s at least a 50-50% chance that you’ll never make it to dinner, so be sure to eat a light snack before your date arrives. The very worst thing that could happen is that you’ll end up with hassle-free straight seams, and a free elegant dinner… ;^)