Reversing The Shopping List
More comedy from Craigslist: If men wrote m4w ads like women wrote w4m ads.
It’s brutal but (to me) funny. You do see a lot of women who write personal ads like they were making a shopping list; and that’s probably sensible for the ones who are used to (and tired of) sorting through dozens or hundreds of wildly unsuitable online propositions. Still:
Isn’t it funny how most w4m ads are like checklists of requirements. These women think finding a guy is like ordering a sandwich – a little more height please, easy on the love of sports, and can you throw in a weekend house in the mountains and a willingness to support some other guy’s children?
If men wrote their m4w ads the same way, we would expect to see something like this:
Looking to meet the woman of my dreams. Someone who appreciates me for who I am. I love big TV’s, big trucks, baseball caps, and wife-beater tanks. I love going out with my friends to get drunk at strip clubs too. I’m looking for a nice woman who is not looking to jump into a relationship too soon but who knows what it means to be sexy and take care of her partner. Please no BBW’s (sorry) but you won’t look good on my arm when I wear a white t-shirt.
You must love dogs and my beer can collection, my dogs, my cans, and I are a package, so if you’re not into them then please move on. I like to let all 6 of my dogs sleep in my bed with me, so hopefully you don’t have a problem with that.
Deal breakers:
likes to shop too much
obsessed with height (i am short)
fat
talks about yourself too much
neediness
always wanting to talk about the relationship
small breasts (sorry, there is nothing sexier than grabbing onto a nice pair)
doesnt like to cook for her man
bossiness
nagging
always wanting to get up early in the morning
fat
intolerance of me and my habits
pressure to have kidsTurn ons:
thin
large breasts (very sexy)
quiet
beer drinker
has her own friends and won’t try to make me watch chick flicks
smells good
likes football
doesn’t expect me to pay all the time
intelligent but not too intelligent (i dont like nerdy girls)
rich father
thin
doesn’t have a relationship calendar, i.e. doesnt wonder after 3 months if we are going in the right direction.
Link via Sexoteric.
Shorter URL for sharing: https://www.erosblog.com/?p=3050
What, the men’s ads DON’T sound like this? The phrasing’s a little different, but the underlying meaning in a lot of men’s ads is EXACTLY this.
I agree completely. And the meaning isn’t necessarily so carefully worded as to be “underlying.” Let’s face it, there are men and women out there with just too many expectations. Most of which will go unsatisfied.
If you want to talk “underlying meaning”, I pretty much agree with you. But the explicit laundry list structure? I’ve seen it from both genders, but I’m comfortable agreeing with the premise of the quote, that it’s more commonly used by women.
If you delve into “underlying”, everybody in the online dating game is asking for what they want. Nothing controversial about that, even when the expectations are laughably unrealistic.
Most (if not all) of the guys I know would never realistically try to order up a “Stepford Wife” with a list even one quarter as detailed as that one. Granted, I don’t read men’s ads, so I don’t really know what’s out there written for women, but I’ve certainly seen such ads written BY women.
Sure its a stereotype, and therefore behavior of a type that is unfair to ascribe to ALL women, and surely there are even some men out there somewhere who think similarly to the manner that this type of woman is guilty of… but THIS is funny! …and not just a little bit. This just wouldn’t be NEARLY so funny if there wasn’t more than just a modicum of truth to it. I mean, I understand EXACTLY what the humor is here. Were it not so, readers would be scratching their collective heads saying “I just don’t get it…” In fact, I have no doubt that even my girlfriend would not only “get it”, but laugh out loud!
That’s pretty funny.
My list might be a little different.
– Must love anal sex
– must be able to hold her own in an argument
– must enjoy dorky sci fi
– must enjoy piss play
(etc)
’cause you know, if we’re asking for EXACTLY our dream dates…
Karl Elvis might just be the man I’m looking for… ;-)