It’s old news from last September, but new to me: a television production company has acquired the rights to produce a television show based on Anne Rice’s Beauty books.

Televisa USA has acquired TV and digital rights to Anne Rice’s best-selling book series The Sleeping Beauty, with plans to produce the erotic BDSM trilogy as a TV series, The Hollywood Reporter has learned.

First published in 1983-85 as The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty, Beauty’s Punishment and Beauty’s Release, the series is set in a medieval fantasy world. The books center on a young princess who, like Sleeping Beauty, is awakened from her long sleep — only in a more provocative fashion than in the fairytale.

By fucking her. What the writer would have said if equipped with a spine is that Beauty’s prince woke her up by fucking her. And then, basically, he kept her as a pet — one of many! — as was his habit.

Obviously the intention is to cash in on the pop-BDSM craze currently under way thanks to the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon. The article doesn’t say where this series would be broadcast, but unless it’s filmed in the same wall-to-wall soft-core 85%-porn style in which the books were written, it’s going to be a huge disappointment. Which pretty much means it will have to be on one of the premium cable channels, or it will suck. (Most likely, it will suck.) Visually it needs to be “Orgy Scenes From Caligula” meets “Game Of Thrones brothel”, and content-wise it needs to be wall-to-wall naked slaves of both genders, or it won’t capture the essential charm of the books. This would be expensive to produce and I have little faith that it will actually happen.

As a throwaway detail, the story also confirms the rumor from a year ago that Rice is writing a fourth Beauty book:

“I wrote this to be fun, in the belief that dominance and submission can be romantic and delightful as well as erotic,” said Rice, who noted in February that she’s prepping a fourth book in the series.

I guess she’s finally over the whole “I’m a Christian now and ashamed of my devil-friendly writings” deal, and is now ready to get back to the work she’s good at.

Update: I went a little nuts on Twitter trying to explain what a Beauty TV show ought to, but will not, look like.

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