What Makes A Decent Man
For most of the eighteen years of ErosBlog’s existence, I have been waging a quiet war for a simple proposition: it’s possible for dudes to like porn and love sex without being assholes about it. There’s an irreducible fraction of porn fans who can’t seem to see or mention a porn performer (or any sexually-expressive woman) without denigrating her, using words like cunt and whore and slut and bitch. If this blog has a theme or a philosophy, it centers around having no need whatsoever to apologize for unabashed male-gaze appreciation of porn or of sexual women. Accordingly, I’ve always needed to moderate the comments. And I’ve never apologized for doing it. It’s just a chore, made necessary by the hostility of the world we live in to the point I’ve been trying to make.
Over the years I’ve tried different verbal formulae to explain the editorial policy. I’ve asked people not to act like dicks. (I’ve actually repeated that request a couple of different ways.) I’ve chided misogynist guys for being bitter and scared. I’ve written against sexual contempt. I’ve asked people not to crap all over beauty, and shared some outside perspectives on that notion. There’s been a lot more. But it all circles around this notion I have, that we dudes can love porn and celebrate sex without apology, as long as we’re decent about it.
All of which is a long way to explain why I’m posting this speech by Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, sometimes called “AOC”, upon the occasion of her having been called a “fucking bitch” in public by an old white powerful Republican man, Representative Ted Yoho of Florida:
The speech is worth your time for many reasons. It has a lot to say about misogyny and the problem of lack of respect for women. But I include it here as accompanying material for this one line from it:
“Treating people with respect is what makes a decent man.”
Yeah, that.
Similar Sex Blogging:
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=25372
Thank you for this. While I do not agree with Ms. Cortez’ politics, the message for civility, compromise, respect cannot be overstated in these times.
Right on.
She is one of my heroes, and her words will resonate down through history. Thank you for posting this, btw.
“Only love can save this world. So I stay, I fight, and I give. This is my mission now. Forever.” -wonder woman.
How beautifully spoken by you and especially AOC of course. I am in the UK and follow US politics and have been incredibly impressed by her all through her career but this speech was just perfect. I love porn but I love women too. We should all treasure and respect everyone regardless of gender, colour, religion or even political persuasion.
You will enjoy this article in the UK Guardian today about this tremendous speech.
It is sad that there are so many ill-bred men who do not seem to even understand decency, everywhere in the world.
The Republicans are dehumanising everyone to promote their fascist ideology. I hope heroes like Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez can continue to fight that and survive it.
What that man said and did is reprehensible. He does not represent me as a male human being, or as a voting citizen of this country. I am embarrassed that he is a member of my country’s government, and mystified as to how he ever got there. Anyone who claims that he represents them, should be ashamed to make that claim.