Loving To Give Blowjobs
Here’s an article worthy of your attention:
Giving Blowjobs And Loving It: A Full-Throated Defense
It’s primarily about women who are blowjob-giving enthusiasts, and the paradoxical ways in which our society tends to disbelieve them when they say they like it:
Are eager cocksuckers born or made? To take mainstream culture’s word for it, they’re neither, because they may not actually exist. At a time when women are cheerleaded into masturbating more often, achieving eight types of orgasm during penis-in-vagina sex, and insisting on receiving head, the potential joy of giving blowjobs has been somewhat neglected. True, the blowjob has made a complete 180 from its 1960s status as a criminalized, outlying perversity. And from boutique sex shops to women’s magazines to sex manuals, there’s a plethora of sources with tips on how to suck cock better. So BJs are now a “standard,” mostly legal sex act. They’re expected.
But that doesn’t mean they’re expected to be relished.
Doubt about women’s enthusiasm for blowjobs is a symptom of our culture’s tendency to doubt much of what women say about their sexual experiences. As Lux Alptraum writes, “When it comes to sex, women just can’t be trusted.” Whether she’s talking about orgasms, ejaculations, how much she likes receiving oral sex, or how much she likes giving it, a woman is often assumed to be intentionally lying or else saddled with an internalized, sexist confusion about her own body and its responses.
Sadly the article overlooks what strikes me as the primary reason for such disbelief: past experience. There do exist women — no small number of them! — who profess to be revolted by the notion of sucking a dick, and having one’s genitalia treated as an object of revulsion of course isn’t fun. I concede that men should not actually complain about being targeted for genital-revulsion until we fully desist from and properly atone for generations of baseless jokes about fish, but I am not complaining here: I am merely explaining why a man might be forgiven his surprise upon encountering a woman who loves to give blowjobs.
Similar Sex Blogging:
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=16701
I have no doubt that some women find all blow jobs revolting and I have no doubt that some women find giving nearly any blow job exciting and rewarding, but I have also heard from quite a number of women that the joy and pleasure of giving a good cocksucking depends on how they feel about the man on the other end of it, and/or how that man feels about women who give blow jobs!
I would advise any man who treasures receiving one, to refrain from saying “blow me” in anger, to anyone of any sex or to referring to his previous wife or girlfriend as a “slutty cocksucker” or a “cocksucking whore”. That said, I will also admit there there are a number of women who enjoy the idea of them giving a blow job as being dirty, taboo, or slutty behavior.
I definitely agree with you about basic language choices. It’s the same with the word “slut” and perhaps (in American English, the Brits are different) the word “cunt” — notwithstanding the many women who delight in reclaiming these words or who enjoy hearing them in the context of loving sexual wordplay, they are basically words no man should ever allow any woman to hear him utter outside said context. “Slut” in particular carries such a weight of condemnation of female sexual agency that you might as well just wear a signboard that says “never fuck me, ladies” — you’re advertising in advance that you’ll despise a woman who fucks you voluntarily, and what earthly sense is there in doing that?
As a male, many of my lovers (in the past… And my ONE current :o) ), frowned in puzzlement when I referred to myself as a “slut”, but I consider it a compliment when used as what I consider it’s true meaning. I adore women who like sex. I believe I’ve said before in your blog that it’s one of my pet peeves when I hear people (often females!), use the term “whore” (as an insult, improperly meaning promiscuous), when a more proper term for the person’s behavior is probably “slut”, which as I’ve said isn’t an insult in my head.
Women know by context when a man is being insulting.
Re: “Women know by context when a man is being insulting.”
That may be true for men of normal/average social intelligence. But the men in my family have a bit of spectrum disorder — my father used to delight in telling people he had “assburger syndrome” and although I do not think he did, quite, he had and I have some sort of social deficiency. I experience this as people *not* reliably understanding from context when I’m being insulting or when I’m being playful; and the only solution I’ve found is a regime of strict avoidance of all sorts of trigger situations that lots of men can get away with. If I don’t want to be a creep (and I don’t) I have to simply rule out various types of verbal usages that a lot of men can “get away with” — there’s something defective in my social intelligence or my delivery or my timing or — if I knew what exactly, I could fix it. One thing I avoid is words that are freighted with a lot of hatred and contempt, like slut and cunt and whore and bitch and pussy (as an epithet). Other men may know when they can use these words playfully or erotically and have them understood thusly; I simply do not.
I didn’t mean to imply that ALL women know what men mean, and that you are therefore safe to hurl insults. I would agree with you that it is best to avoid such words. The line you referred to was meant to WARN that women in general have a pretty good radar, in regards to the inflection of a man’s voice, when he actually IS insulting other women in general, and that as you said, if he expects any manner of sexual accomodation, he should rein in the insulting comments and realize that offending an entire gender is no way gain favor. Behavior of that sort is particularly ignorant for any heterosexual man.
The header (ahem) for this is the best…
Yes, it’s a great headline, isn’t it?