Flashing From A Window
I wish I knew the story of this pretty photograph; that looks like the window embrasure for one of those ancient bombproof stone office buildings. No Mardi Gras beads in evidence:
Postscript that ate the post: Just a few words to the wise about feedback on photographs. Lately I’ve been getting more niggardly about allowing certain sorts of comments through moderation when I post pictures. Specifically, the one sentence “Heh heh heh, I’d like to wash her windows” gestures of lewd appreciation are making it less and less often. Though I do appreciate hearing positive feedback on the photos I post, there’s a classy way to do it — and then there are the other ways.
Hearing that you think a photographic subject is pretty or beautiful or desireable is great; I probably think the same, and it’s always nice to be agreed with. But there’s a line that’s crossed when men (and it’s almost always men) personalize their connection to an attractive photographic subject, and begin to state sexual intentions — however whimsical — in connection with that photographic subject. It’s the same sort of line that’s crossed when construction workers shout lewd proposals to women passing on the street, really. Stating sexual desires, publicly, in connection with a woman who hasn’t invited anything from you, is a sexually aggressive act, and one that displays a certain unconcern for whether your sexual advances are welcome. That unconcern can create real fear on the street, and the karmic echoes of that fear make it unpleasant online, even though it’s technically harmless here. And that unpleasantness, in turn, gets in the way of my goal of having ErosBlog feel like a safe and friendly place to everyone.
I haven’t been consistent about this, and I probably never will be. Some of these comments get through, especially the longer or more witty ones. Shorter and cruder get nuked quicker. Ones from established commenters get more leeway (Hi, Karl.) But overall, my feeling is that I’ve been too liberal, and allowed too many of these lately. Please make my job easier, gentlemen, by acting like gentlemen! Thank you.
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=1769
oh thank you! as a woman who gets her fair share of unwanted/solicited lewd comments, I’m happy to hear you say something about it. While I appreciate your postings of beautiful women, I’ve stopped reading the comments, as i felt I was sitting in a circle of base kindergarden boys. and another note. enjoy her freedom and glee at showing herself to the world, in a word, glorious.
Oh, to be young, innocent and foolish once again!
She is cute. Although she definitely looks like a girl I knew from high school, and it wouldn’t suprise me that she would do something like this if it was her.
Thank you for the comment moderation, it really does get old after awhile to read things like that. Besides, generally the women you post are gorgeous in some way, and of course people would love to ‘do’ her. That’s half the reason that she’s posted, it doesn’t need to be said 16 times.
I applaud your comment moderation. I’m pretty stringent over at my own blog (not a plug), and I hate that kind of childish behavior in people who are supposed to be adults. Let’s act that way!
She is beautiful, and so brave!
I worry that she’s going to fall. Clearly I worry too much. Window’s probably 3 feet above the ground.
Would it even out Karl Elvis’ karma if we made some lewd comments about HIM here?
Who me?
Wait, don’t I get a link? Use my name in vain and then no link. Come ON! B^)
Maybe it’s just me, but when I see a girl with her pants around her ankles, up on a window ledge, the first thing I think about isn’t what sex act I’m going to perform on her. It’s how I’m going to peel her off the pavement when she falls.
Safe flashing guidelines can make the difference between an enjoyable prank and a tragic accident. Ladies: take the clothes off before you climb out on the ledge!!
I think I understand your concern about lewd and unimaginative comments… particularly the unimaginative kind. (yawn)
But, I disagree with one point – a woman that is flashing her privates to the world… *is definitely* inviting those kind of comments. She’s not an innocent passer-by. Is she? She’s demanding the world’s attention with a primitive and raw gesture; it can only evoke an equal kind of response, perhaps verbal or non-verbal.
No?
Isn’t she saying: “I’m f’in beautiful!! You know I am!! Let me hear you say it! I dare ya!”
??
She’s asking for it? Sheesh, do you guys never learn?
I suppose those loud-mouthed construction workers feel the same way: “Those sluts, we only holler at them because they wear those tight jeans, they’re obviously asking for it! They don’t want attention, they’d wear gunny sacks.”
Look guys, learn this and learn it fast: When you say the words “She’s asking for it” you brand yourself as a jerk and an idiot. Here’s the key concept, fellas: You don’t get to decide what a woman’s asking for, unless she, ya know, asks for it, in like, actual words. Asks you for it, even.
Just because a woman wants people to look at her or even touch her, doesn’t mean she wants you in particular to look at her or touch her. If you assume she does, you’re being arrogant. Act on that assumption without checking, you’ll probably commit a sex crime, or at best a gross violation of manners (which is more what I’ve been complaining about here on ErosBlog.)
All of which is beside the point here. Whatever the woman in the picture’s asking for, the women who read my blog didn’t ask for it. And I didn’t ask for it. I ask for — nay, I demand — civility here. And I’m rapidly deciding that saying “I’d like to do her” and its many equivalent phrasings is not civil behavior.
hmmm…Looks like a college dorm window. Probably Richmond’s VCU in fact. We love our kooky art students here, as they are a non-stop source of anything- goes,quirky entertainment. All I can say is: “Go Rams!”, and to thank her for making life worth living. I haven’t seen such a generous gift since Drew Barrymore flashed David Letterman on national TV from atop his desk on his birthday…
I wonder if perhaps you are taking this a bit too seriously?
You are not going to change how people respond to a photo like this, or wether “those loud-mouthed construction workers” (talk about stereotyping!) whistle at a passing pretty girl. If you don’t wish to publish such comments, fine and dandy. I am beginning to weary of being lectured.
I can appreciate your train of thought with this but I must beg to differ with you Bacchus. First of all we aren’t talking about a woman walking down the street in a business suit here. We are talking about a woman naked in a window for all the passerbys to view! Not only that but you are posting the naked picture on a sexually oriented blog if that isn’t an invitation for lewd comments then surely nothing ever would be. I agree with what you are saying but only to a point. There is a time and a place for everything and a sex blog is a great place for lewd comments. It’s safe, it doesn’t really insult anyone and its a great avenue for one to get that sort of thing out of one’s system. Of course I respect your right to say otherwise and respect the fact that this is your blog and your make the rules but I don’t agree with what you are saying here.
hugs
Des
With her jeans halfway down her thigh’s my first thought was “dear god please dont fall” It would be such a shame to damange something so nice, even if she’d only fall from three feet, but I believe shes much higher than three feet off the ground.
I sex blog doesn’t have to be lewd! She’s not asking for anything but admiration. and the loudmouth construction workers comment doesn’t neccesarily mean to say that all construction workers are loud mouths. just the ones who make unwanted passes. AND there are loud mouth every things out there, its not just confined to construction workers, I’ve had “mature” business men make comments as they pass me. *whew. this is a touchy subject for me. I guess being an art student, I’m used to the human form as more than a sexual object, and granted, the feminine form is far more sensuous than the masculine, does that mean that we have to read comment after comment that basically state the same thing, you want to “do” her? I’m sure that just by posting a picture of a beautiful lady, its agreed that the masses want to “do” her, so can’t we get onto a more pressing topic, such as, is her right arm double jointed?
Thanks, Rache, you’ve pegged it. And I’ve worked as a construction worker. Nice guys, the most of them. But they provided a handy example everyone is familiar with, of a behavior that’s distributed throughout the male population.
Alex99, more archetypal example than stereotype, I think. And as for being lectured, I don’t think you’re being graded, so you’re not in trouble if you don’t do the reading.
Desireous, we’re not just talking about this picture; we’re talking about every nekkid picture I’ve published in the last six months. And I’m not talking about lewd comments in general — hell, this is a lewd website — but rather a particular class of lewd comment. Specifically, the sort of lewd comment that parses to “I’d like to fuck her even though I know she’s got no interest in fucking me.”
When a guy says that in meatspace where the woman can hear it, it’s a problem, because his disregard of her yes/no opinion raises the spectre of rape, or at least makes her wonder and worry about whether he might, since he’s advertising that he’s not interested in her consent. The feminists argue that men do this deliberately as a tool of oppression, to keep women in fear. I think the men who do this just do it because they are louts, and think it’s funny. But the men I respect don’t do it at all, because it is, at best, damned rude.
Here in virtual space, the sharp edge is gone, since there’s no risk to anyone, as you correctly point out. But, I’ve been discovering that I don’t particularly enjoy the virtual company of louts any more than I enjoy their company in the real world. I’ve never been a part of the locker room trash talking circle of guys who tell outrageous lies about the “sluts” who put out for them; and now I find myself in the uncomfortable position of running the locker room, to stretch an analogy.
All I ask, all I’ve ever asked, is for folks to adhere to a high standard of civilized behavior in my comments. I’m not saying these problematic comments are evil, or anything like that; I’m just saying that they aren’t as civilized as I would like. And since I am, effectively, changing the rules, I thought some explanation was in order.
In cleaning up the comments, please leave the puns!!
I simply took the “I’d like to clean her windows” as an affirmation of her attractiveness in a witty way.
I realize this example may be mild in comparison to others!
Generally, I think the blog is great.
Can someone agree and disagree at the same time? Obviously you are free to set whatever parameters you want on your blog, clearly. And if you don’t want lewd, in your opinion, comments, that’s perfectly fine. But it seems to me a double standard that is hard to define. You clearly publish material that to a great many people, some feminists included, could be seen as degrading and explotative of women. And yet, on the other hand, establish arbitrary rules regarding reader reaction to such material. Again, your right to do so. Just seems a tad like hypocrisy to me. And I’m honestly not trying to start anything here, just making a comment on a post I followed from someone else’s blog.
Nothing against lewd comments in general, just a certain specific incivil subset of them. And not an arbitrary subset; rather, I’ve done my best to spell out the criteria I’m using.
Of course the enterprise of comment moderation is inherently arbitrary. But I aspire to be as predictable as possible. Hence, the explanatory material here.
I am unabashedly fond of the naked female form, but I firmly believe there is a polite way and an impolite way to share this enthusiasm with the world, and with my readers. I try to remain polite, and I insist my commenters do likewise. If there’s a double standard in that, I can’t see it.
>> I try to remain polite
Which do you think is more ‘impolite’ to the subject of this photo:
“Hey baby… oooooh yeah…”
or
“I have posted your nude college photo on my web-site read by about 1 billion people a minute. Don’t worry – I won’t let the folks talk dirty about you. I’m a gentleman.”
??
PS: I really do enjoy the blog and really appreciate the thoughtful efforts at moderating. I have no serious complaints about what you choose to share, or toss. I know you gotta draw the tasteful/hurtful line somewhere… and I’m glad it’s not MY job. (the moderating part)
PSS: (.)(.)
Sean, which do you think is more rude? I’m pretty sure you already know my answer to your rhetorical question.
Note also that I’ve never claimed to be a gentleman, though I’ll admit my momma tried. And I do despise loutishness.
I too tire of reading comments like: “Man I’d sure like to DO her!” However, I can merely say “Bless her heart” as my own published comment, and indeed mean it most sincerely, and yet this short and sweet posting, as polite as it sounds, infers to many readers the basest, most raffish, most vulgar, most Philistine of thoughts, (that in truth I am in actuality entertaining even as I write this). Perhaps what we’re looking for here is a bit of novel creativity. Just an observation. Great blog site B.T.W….
I find this debate interesting. I think it is not so much the lewd comment as much as it is a comment of power. One can be creatively lewd and feed the attention seeking of a blogger who posts their pics or desires, but when it becomes a comment that negates the humanity of the woman then I see a problem. I write erotic stories but I have a hard time being overly lewd, I treat my charecters with respect. You can be sexually explict with respect.
Not all women who post nude pics are attention whores, some are just looking to find lost desire. Some have a sense of expressing things they can’t in there flesh and blood world. While there is an expectation of rude comments because the world is the world I think it is fair to moderate them.
That pic is pretty. (Anyone who wants to can pretend I said something really suggestive, like what I actually thought when I saw that picture, right here.)
Seriously, I do my best to keep my relationships with the public in general, and especially with women, civil. On the other hand, I can’t help having an active imagination and absolutely no guilt about my own fantasies.
That said, I love this blog, and I admire you for attempting to maintain and even improve its level of “classiness.” From this point on, if it ain’t classy, I’ll just keep it to myself, or link to your blog from mine and leave my more colorful comments there.
um…I see nothing aggressive in saying I would like to do the naked girl in the window. Shes naked and cute and and here for the world to see
This woman isnt timidly covering herself from passerby, shes butt naked outside, and laughing
I understand where you are coming from, but this is a very bad example.
I just read another comment of yours over on another blog and I think you did a better job of explaining your stance there, than here. I happen to agree with you, even though I don’t face the same challenge on my blog, since I don’t post pictures like you do here. I can understand how these specific types of comments become… how best to say it? Pendantic after a time. What point is served? We all strive to comment the best that we can, I suspect that much of this behaviour is derived from a lack of creativity on the subject, which says more about the commenter, than the subject.
Anyway, my two cents. I’ve always enjoyed your blog, despite our disagrements in the past.
So does that mean I can’t use this space to say how much I’d like to kneel in that window and go up on her? Or stand behind her and rub her nipples until they’re cherry red?
Or do I get to because I’m a chick? Or because I’m a friend of Karl Elvis’? Or because you, Bacchus, like me?
‘Cause I’d never say it if I weren’t allowed. I’m just polite that way.
kissykiss,
chelsea
Amalea, you are assuming all nudity is sexual.
Sex is always an act of aggression. The difference is when both or all parties welcome and relish that aggression.
Sex is always an act of aggression? Ugh, I’m glad I don’t live in your world, Gloria.
Could you explain? I’d prefer that to you simply just making a sound of disgust.
Perhaps I employed the word with the wrong connotations? Aggression, as I used it here, is not necessarily hostile, violent, or destructive; it’s simply assertive, driven by the passion of feeling.
Gloria, I completely disagree with you. There is agressive sex — good and bad — and then there’s all the rest of it. A world, a life, a set of experiences in which all sex is aggressive is very unappealing to me, hence my ugh. If nothing else, that sharply limits the panoply of potential sexual experience.
Your word “assertive” makes a bit more sense to me, and I wouldn’t have ughed if you’d said that.
Chelsea, you can say it if you can manage to find a way to say it that doesn’t make you sound like a crude transgressive lout who is uninterested in whether the girl in the window would welcome your attentions. Which you surely can manage.
Being a “chick” probably makes that easier for you — men have more difficulty because we are tarred by the misdeeds of our misbehaving brethren. Me liking you also helps, because I’m more inclined to read your words charitably. Being a regular commenter here helps a lot, because I already know you’re not a crude lout. (Plus, first time commenters begin in moderation, where it’s just as easy to nuke as to publish. Your comments appear immediately, and require extra effort to delete.)
Hell, using as few as three sentences, with a few polysyllabic words, to say it would probably make it OK with me — I tend to respect effort. It’s really the crude gruntings that I’ve been deleting, truth be told.
Being a friend of Karl Elvis is a strike against you, but you didn’t have to confess you were. ;-) We like Karl here, but he’ll strike a “transgressive lout” pose without even needing to be dared to do it. Fortunately, we know he’s actually a big ole teddy bear at heart.
This is all subjective, there are no firm rules.
I also differentiate between good and bad aggressive sex. And I understand your point. My broad generalization was my attempt to communicate to people that unwelcome sex, or rather sexual advances, can very much be viewed as aggression. Too many people I’ve talked to just don’t get it, and I’ve often reduced myself to extremes to try to pound it in.
I appreciate the reply.
Man, I’d sure like to meet *her* in a social context, see if we had any interests in common, then talk for a while if we did, perhaps exchange e-mail address and AIM handles, meet up for lunch or dinner sometime, then see what that led to, if you know what I mean.
First of all, why is it a hypocritical double-standard for Bacchus to promote sexuality and respect at the same time? I wasn’t aware that it’s impossible to have both.
Second of all, why is anyone assuming to know what she’s thinking? She could be just trying to get attention, inclucing lewd comments, or she could be expressing her freedom, or she could be expressing the artistic beauty of femininity, or she could just be doing it for one person below without the knowledge that someone’s taking a picture. My point is no one knows what’s going on in her head except her. So to claim that she’s definetly asking for it is bullshit. And although this might be the internet where no one can actually get raped, I think encouraging that kind of mentality also encourages the same kind of mentality that does actually lead men to rape women who might be wearing revealing clothing, or acting a certain way. That’s the very debate that goes on during rape trials. So I’m totally with Bacchus here. But it is pretty subjective, and there are women who post pictures and videos on the internet seeking the lewd attention of men. Hovever, unless we know her intentions, how about we not assume we do? Just like how in real life a man should never assume a woman wants it unless she explicity says so.
Thank you, Bacchus. Well said. And this is a great, fun picture.
that photo comes from the yankees parade after they won the 1996 world series, doesn’t it?
Yep, Yankees parade. I remember the photo circulating then (and had kept a copy for a while!). The girl was arrested for public nudity, IIRC>
I’m sorry if this comment is out of place, but francis’ comment made me laugh the longest and hardest I have all day, and I have been watching comedy re-runs all day.
Glorious! That’s the word!
Happy and free – most woman love to look sexy and be admired… (disclaimer – personal opinion!)
And in defence of construction workers yelling out … it’s a compliment! I spent a few years on that job, some of the nicest guys in the world were almost absent mindedly shouting to every girl who went past, just a joyful distraction from hard work in the hot sun. I asked one guy why he was calling out to everyone, young and old, beautiful and not so beautiful… he told me it would be rude to ignore someone!
Revisiting this posting…
This is without a doubt one of my favorite photos on ErosBlog…
Besides being an “arms-over-the-head” pose, which I personally have a big thing for ( http://www.eros...rist/ ), it’s just a great submissive, I surrender, come-here-and-give-me-a-hug kind of body language, completely devoid of any defensiveness body language. It reminds me of an innocent pre-school child exuberantly greeting a parent, who might be coming home after a long day at work, and hoping to be picked up off of the ground so that they can wrap their arms around that parent’s neck, and then be kissed on the cheek.
This is a picture from either the 98 or 99 World Series Yankees Parade. The girl in the picture went to Elon College, now Elon University. She was someone I knew well. After this picture she even got on David Letterman.
As much time as I spend on the internet (looking at photos of women naked), I would not be surprised that I’ve seen over a million such images.
Yet this remains one of my all time favorites.
I was quite displeased to read that she’d been arrested for such a beautiful act.
In MY world, anyone who preferred charges against that awesome young lady should be arrested!
Who thinks that this woman is a threat to others???
Nudity is certainly more natural than wearing clothing!
I’m with Bacchus here. If this blog contained a plethora of rude and loutish comments I would have stopped visiting it long ago out of shear BOREDOM if nothing else!
She looks like she’d be a fun date, even if no sex was involved…